What is Communication?Communication is the sending and receiving of a message. Communication can occur between one or many different people. Communication can take place within just one individual. This type of communication is called intrapersonal communication. Interpersonal communication involves two or more people. COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 1 Types of Communication Intrapersonal communication refers to the conversation that is continually going on in your own mind. Interpersonal communication refers to the different types of verbal, non-verbal and physical actions or expressions that people use when they communicate with each other. Intrapersonal & Interpersonal Mastering the two basic types of communication is the key to successful socialization. The ability to communicate ideas, thoughts and feelings serves as the basis for all successful human interaction. COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 2 WHAT IS INTRAPERSONAL COMMUNICATION? Intrapersonal communication skills are: communications that occur within a person's own mind. positive internal dialogue, occurring within the mind. Meditation, prayer, visualization and affirmations are amongst the intrapersonal techniques. the process of talking to oneself, we all have constant internal dialogues going on within ourselves either consciously or subconsciously, vital roles in determining our self-esteem and selfperception. If you apply yourself, it is improving your confidence and therefore your quality of life. COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 3 IMPORTANT FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE INTRAPERSONAL SKILLS 1.Perspective 2.Self-esteem 3.Self-confidence 4.Self-assertive COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 4 understanding and values in our minds shape our perspectives or philosophies or paradigms IN RELATIONSHIP. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 5 .1. IT IS BETTER TO BE KIND THAN TO BE RIGHT! COMM. PERSPECTIVE Perspective is a view or belief which we truly believe it is true and valuable in our life • • • Perspective is the way we look at things Knowledge. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 6 .THE WAY WE THINK The way we think influence our perspectives in life Positive thoughts will produce positive perspectives in life Positive perspectives are able to produce positive actions Positive perspectives are able to produce positive communication and interpersonal relationship COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 7 .** BRIGHT STUDENT KNOWLEDGE/INFORMATION EDUCATION OBSERVATION EXPERIENCE / EFFECTS WE SEE WHAT IS SHAPING OUR MINDS? ENVIRONMENTAL INFLUENCE **PROCESSIONARY CATERPILLAR PEOPLE INFLUENCE VALUE SYSTEM PERCEIVED AUTHORITY INFLUENCE OF MODELING COMM. EVERY ACTION WE TAKE IS ACTUALLY A REFLECTION OFOUR PERSPECTIVE •The Way We Use Our Time. Money And Energy •With Whom We Normally Socialize Or Get Along With •What Kind Of Food We Eat •What Kind Of Books We Read •What Kind Of Activities We Give Priorities •How We Communicate With People •How We React And Take Actions When We Are Facing Difficulties And Problems COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 8 . . With appreciating your capabilities or undermining yourselves…. SELF-ESTEEM HOW WE LOOK AT OURSELVES: In a positive or negative manner… In the form of strengths or form of weaknesses….2. COMM. With the feeling you can be successful or weak without energy…. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 9 . SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 10 .WHY HAVING HIGH SELF-ESTEEM IS IMPORTANT? Solid and good self-esteem will give us strength to shape our lives the best we can Poor and bad self-esteem will lead to a lot of weaknesses in life WHO AM I? The Answer To This Question Will Influence One’s Selfesteem And Influence The Actions We Take In Our Life COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 11 . I am a responsible person / son / daughter/ student I am a loving (/ son / daughter/ classmate/ student) I am a useful member of this society I am a responsible and dedicated student/ officer who is wellorganized COMM.WHO AM I? MY IDENTITY! MY IMAGE! I am a good human being. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 12 .WAYS TO BUILD HIGH SELF-ESTEEM Always remember you have the capability. role and achievement Should interact with those who have positive minds and who always encourage positive actions Should take positive actions which bring goodness to yourself and society COMM. SELF-CONFIDENCE HIGH SELF-CONFIDENCE will help us take actions based on perspectives and values we hold HIGH SELF-CONFIDENCE gives us strengths to achieve the goals we set in our life COMM.3. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 13 . Must try to do high risk work – which have big challenge so as to train yourself to fight feeling of scared or no confidence COMM. have talent and capabilities. used to contribute something meaningful to society Do not feel that other people are too superior – they are also normal human beings that shouldn’t be scared of 2.because small success could lead in getting bigger success 3. Must practice to give opinions even though you may make mistakes or you don’t have much points to say Must try to get small things done until successful . SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 14 . You must feel that you are special – used to be successful.BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE 1-3/9 1. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 15 . clear ways of doing things– don't worry about complaints. 6.Seek support from positive people. not those who are only talkers. negative people who don’t like to see other people become successful.BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE 4-6/9 4. When you have clear objectives. nothing accomplished. clear values. COMM. Prolonged exposure to negative elements will influence your mind and your soul and finally you will fall in their trap of negativity and non-performance. Be careful in choosing friends – do not be affected by the negative comments or bad influence or bad models. successful people. negative comments and opinions of other people – go ahead with your work – do it the best possible way you can 5. Get yourself used to do a lot of welfare work to build strong mind. 8. soul and character – so that this way you wont be easily influenced in negativity or bad behavior – you get yourselves more confidence and becoming more useful.BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE 7-9/9 7. Must try to fight feeling ashamed or scared or doesn’t want to work Do not propose other people to volunteer – must propose your own self to volunteer to take part 9. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 16 . Must try to think and find creative ways to solve problems – do not surrender to circumstances COMM. SELF-ASSERTIVE The capability to take a stand and take appropriate actions in defending perspectives and positive values which you strongly believe Determination. ethics and rules which you strongly believe COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 17 .4. patience and courage are the only things needed to improve any situation WAYS TO BUILD SELF-ASSERTIVENESS Understand clearly the good and bad aspects of anything Be firm if they try to take advantage of you Behold strictly to values. Winston Churchill: Communication Quotes Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 18 . courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen Denis Waitley : Quotes: Self Esteem To establish true self-esteem we must concentrate on our successes and forget about the failures and the negatives in our lives COMM.CONCLUSION Anthony Robbins: Communication Quotations The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives. Our life is our responsibility.ONLY WE CAN CHANGE OURSELVES Nobody will be able to change us to get better results. so we are responsible totally for our life. For things to change. Good news: once we start changing ourselves. we have to change first. COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 19 . things will start to change for us. except we ourselves. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 20 . SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 21 . COMM.DEFINITION OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Communication is a process of delivering a message or meaning through verbal or non-verbal means. PERSPECTIVE OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION The Quality Of Our Interpersonal Communication Will Determine The Quality Of Our Work And Quality Of Our Life Interpersonal Communication Skills Can Be Learned COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 22 . SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 23 .COMPONENTS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION 1. 4. Conversation Listening Body language Environment Self-appearance COMM. 5. 2. 3. Be Interested COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 24 . CONVERSATION Mention Their Names Use Suitable Language Tone Of Voice Simplify Your Message Give Other People The Chance To Talk And Do Not Control All Try To Control From Telling Too Much About Yourself Use Closed And Open Questions Properly Contents Of Your Sentence Suitability Of Topics To Talk Winning People’s Heart Be Interesting Vs.1. cool and relaxed Be yourself – do not belittle yourself but at the same do not be arrogant – must show respect to all parties Be assertive – do not let other people step on your head Give your opinion if you don’t agree – with full of diplomacy and respect COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 25 .THE WAY TO CONVERSE Be confident. Do not focus on what you are going to say. that’s interesting story. LISTENING SKILLS Look at the eyes and give attention But do not do it too close or too long Show your interest and show that they are important Concentrate – do not let your mind wonder to other places. Do not interrupt or try to finish his sentence while people are talking to you. Give your response when you are truly sure he’s finished his points. please tell me more’ Listen to ideas. 26 . Repeat important information and seek confirmation from her “Is this what you are trying say……” Give encouragement for people to keep on talking or to tell you more using phrases such as ‘that’s amazing idea. nodding your head and continue eye contact. Do not look at other places or do other things while listening to people talking to you Show that you are actually listening to them with full interest by saying ‘yeah’ ‘oh like that’. focus on what your friend is going to say first. Do not look at different direction Ensure that you really understand what you have just heard by repeating what you have heard to him / her. not just words.2. Do not be too fast to conclude. Form imagination in your mind while listening. Wait until he or she finishes his or her sentences. and all sort of inappropriate actions COMM. This is called mirroring. you do the same. if they are holding cup. BODY LANGUAGE PROPER BODY LANGUAGE Smile or show happy face Nod your head to show that you understand or agree or you are following the conversation attentively. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 27 . • Drilling your nostrils. GOOD BODY LANGUAGE “Mirroring” is you create the same body posture with those you are talking to – if they are standing with one leg up. • Digging your ears.3. Give space so that everyone can see each other’s face if you are talking in a group. you do the same. “Mirroring” will create a more friendly and relaxed atmosphere between you and the other person. Avoid from: • Yawning. • Scratching your head. To discuss multi-million dollar business deal. must find a suitable place. mixed feeling etc. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 28 . refreshing. not smelly. ENVIRONMENT Try to understand their mood (are they tired. not many people around) for the topic you want to discuss. quite. feeling sad. clean) COMM. Find suitable environment (cold. after getting scolded from their boss.) Look at suitability of topic at that moment (talking about marriage to women who haven’t got married.4 .) Find suitable place (eg. have many problems. talking about child birth with the couple who don’t have kids yet etc. 5. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 29 . SELF APPEARANCE The way you dress Cleanliness Color of your dress Ornaments Body smell COMM. big talk and belittle other people. very arrogant. very fast in finding other people’s faults When asking questions.CHALLENGES IN COMMUNICATION MISUNDERSTANDING IN COMMUNICATION might happen in: Through telephone SMS Emails News delivered through third party When talking always want to win or be superior When talking. always want to make other people feel guilty When talking. COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 30 . the intention is to test the people When talking. emotion is more than facts When giving opinions. Insisted – do not give much choices. most people don’t want the following: ONE WAY COMMUNICATION – do not give chance to other people to talk. Pestered – just like being pushy. – debating without proper guidelines. attack one’s arguments. no good intention Discussion not for the sake of finding proper understanding or to find the truths Discussion to hurt other people’s feelings Arguments just for fun –no objective. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 31 . waste of time hurt the feeling. spoil the good mood. Manipulation– salesmen. bad leaders He feel he’s the only one who’s right and other people do not know anything. no barakah Provoke heated arguments. Dictated – like to control. Imposed – give one-sided point of view. break friendship COMM.CHALLENGES IN COMMUNICATION Normally. no ethics in discussion. More examples of Barriers to communication • • • • • • • • • • Language Values and beliefs Sex/gender and age Economic status Educational level Physical barriers Attitude Timing Understanding of message Trust COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 32 . SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 33 .IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP BASICS – MANKIND WANTS To be respected To be appreciated To feel important To play some roles To be friends with others Win-win – enjoy their rights BASICS – MANKIND DO NOT WANT • To be ridiculed • Belittled • Neglected • Segregated • Cruelled • Underestimated • Mistreated COMM. Be fair to all parties. especially from the weaker party. LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE AND GIVE EMPATHY Look at the good side and strength he has. Never ever suppress other people Never try to take advantage. COMM. REMEMBER HIS NAME AND RELATED INFORMATION Remember his name correctly and mention his name in the conversation Try to remember other important or relevant information about him such as the number of cats he keep. try to understand his situation. do not quickly make a conclusion about him and give forgiveness on small things Investigate first on what’s happened. Do not conclude too fast Give open arms and put no ill intention toward him. do not look at his weaknesses and shortcomings Inculcate sympathy and empathy. 3. his favorite food etc.IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP 1. countries he has visited. THINK WIN-WIN Think win-win. do not quickly put a blame on him. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 34 . 2. dignity or his existence by spreading fitnah • Stay away from fitnah or plough the seed of hatred or ill-intention toward a person. PAY GRATITUDE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE Do not compare someone with someone else. this way you will lose trust from him • Do not take advantage on his weaknesses or his negligence or his sincerity 5. 6.you are my hero or you are my heroine COMM. NEVER EVER COMPARE. our husband/wife with other people’s husband/wife Do not praise other people and undermine your own relatives Have to pay gratitude and appreciate what you have or possess Keep in mind . our staff with other people staff. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 35 .IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP 4. DO NOT KEEP HIDDEN AGENDA OR TRY TO TAKE ADVANTAGE • Do not keep the “prawn besides the stone” (hidden agenda) when dealing with him. DO NOT ‘KILL’ HIS LIFE AND DO FITNAH • Never ever ‘kill’ one’s life. EXPECT THE BEST Give inspiration. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 36 . give trust.NEVER EVER LIE Speak the truth – never ever lie Never manipulate your language or twist your tongue. give hope Give motivation to be the best. GIVE INSPIRATION. to give their best Must expect the best from them Be patient with their shortcomings and find ways so that they can improve themselves – through coaching. doing so will make you a hypocrite 9. training or third party’s roles 8.IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP 7. FULFILL YOUR PROMISE DO NOT MAKE FALSE PROMISE Must respect the promise you have made – must fulfill it Do not promise with the things you are not capable of doing COMM. EXPECTATION Sometimes our expectation on other people are not realistic or too high All people have problems or circumstances which we do not know We shouldn’t be asking from them more than what they are capable of doing Expectation which is too high might frustrate us COMM.IMPORTANT TIPS ON INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP 10. so it is better to avoid from being direct – this is what is called strategic.SOMETIMES WE ARE STRATEGIC. LIKEABLE AND LIKE Make it a habit to always eliminate the bad elements in our life Improve yourself so that people like you Train yourself to like other people 12.NOT HYPOCRITE We cannot be open to all things because it could be not strategic Have to see the pros and cons of the things we discussed If it carries more disadvantages than advantages. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 37 . 11. DON’T HOPE FOR RETURN OF FAVOR Continue with good relationship without hoping anything in return Even though people do not give a damn. they will feel the true pleasure of friendship COMM. we continue with good relationship with them If we are hoping for a return of favor. maybe we will be frustrated If we do not hope anything in favor.13. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 38 . FRIENDSHIP SPOILERS Have strong vested interest Like to take advantage High expectation Blame without investigation Lying when speaking Back biting Take his rights ENHANCERS • Good intention • Always helping • Keep his dignity • See the good aspects than the bad aspects • No hidden agenda • Telling the truth and be trustworthy • Give priority to a friend COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 39 . Success for YOU… …in the new global and diverse workplace requires excellent communication skills! COMM. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 40 . http://www.html#ixzz2PJPQO6KY 2.londondeanery.skillsyouneed. SKILLS/10THAPR2013/DADJU 41 .com/ips/interpersonalcommunication.com/ips/interpersonalcommunication.com/how-to-developinterpersonal-skills COMM.html 3. http://interpersonalskillsonline.faculty. http://www.uk/elearning/improve-your-lecturing/what-makes-a-goodlecturer 4.REFERENCES 1.skillsyouneed.ac. http://www.