The Life Purpose Guide(Read this article as: PDF | ePub | Mobi) What is your life purpose and who cares, anyway? When most of us do something, when most of us make life decisions, we rarely make them past pursuing what feels good or what wins us the most approval from others. Sometimes we have a subset of values that we pay heed to, but few of us ever ask ourselves “What is the message that my life is sending to the world?” That may sound pretty deep and heady, but it’s a question of your legacy. If you died tomorrow, how would people remember you? That you were a “nice guy” who was nice to have a few laughs with? Or did you stand for something? Did you affect people’s lives? Did you change things. Is there a message attached to your existence. And if not, why not? This may sound like a bunch of fluff, but its the exact questioning of purpose and legacy that helped renown psychiatrist Viktor Frankl survive a Nazi concentration camp. It then inspired a whole branch of therapy known as “logotherapy”. This is real stuff. Let’s start things off with a simple question: the information economy. They never learn to assert themselves. particularly those with women. and without constraints of time and money. And this report will hopefully help you fix it. Boys growing up without clear roles to fill. Often despite the fact he was good-looking and a cool guy. Writers and thinkers from David Deida to Camille Paglia to Sigmund Freud himself have commented on how important it is to a man’s identity and self-esteem that he has a clear life mission and that he’s consistently working towards it. every time I worked with a guy who was either unemployed and/or lived at home with his parents and/or hated his job. There have been a number of major societal shifts in the past few decades — feminism.” then something’s wrong. they remain woefully unaware of their emotional realities and their personal relationships suffer. “What I’m doing now.“If you could do anything without chance of failure. more broken homes and fewer marriages — men greatly lack that clear vision and purpose they were once given in their lives. Back when I was coaching men in person regularly on how to be better with women. As a result. meander through their early life reacting and following whatever is put before them. what would you do?” This is the primary question. It’s my opinion that this greatly affects the overall psychology of the male population. he inevitably would do terribly with women. I didn’t have to look far to realize this either. If the answer isn’t an immediate. they never cultivate the independence and self-esteem that comes with following their purpose. . without obvious purposes to fill. We’ll be breaking it down into parts and answering it in such a way that you’ll be able to work towards the answer over the coming months and years. And then a year from now. you’ll ask it again. They never sat down and asked the question written above. loafed around. a lot of people don’t ever actually sit down and THINK about this stuff. and begin working towards it again. They were always told to go to this school or that school. And not only that. A lot of men are endlessly frustrated with aspects of their lives. A possible cause for this is a lack of direction and purpose in your life. re-evaluate. We will be answering that question in this report. I recommend doing it once a year. The system presented in this report can be done repeatedly over a long period of time. So they did that too. but I became pretty down and didn’t feel good about myself anymore. Whether it be their inability to get with women. Then I graduated. It wasn’t until I started my business and got it going that things began to turn around again. or just that they’re always insecure and unhappy. And the amazing thing is. In college I had been doing great with women. so they went. Suddenly the ladies had no interest in me.I even felt it myself back in 2007. The . Hopefully each time you do this exercise. you’ll be a step closer. Then they were told to get this job or that job. held a few part time jobs and ended up broke and living on my friend’s couch for a while. to make friends. It’s not revolutionary by any means. This is important. Write everything down yourself and keep it. four years later. . And that’s what’s important. But it works. Especially at my age. Now. I was broke. struggling with a new business. I’ve modified it over the years and it’s been influenced by some other goalsetting techniques I’ve come across. This system is an adaptation of a similar exercise a good friend of mine has done every year for over a decade. I’m just going to tell you flat out: Do these exercises in a quiet place without distractions Take your time. Periodically check back and review your goals at the end of it throughout the year. So you may recognize parts of it. don’t rush through it. I’m living the life of my dreams.” And I think that’s a pretty astounding success. living alone and not living a very healthy lifestyle. I can unequivocally say that this is the first year ever in my life that I answer the prime question with an immediate. In fact. “What I am doing now.first day of each year is a great option. I will spare you all of the science and information behind goalsetting techniques and why writing things down seems to have a “magical” effect on your brain. When I started. I’ve done some form of this exercise every year for four years now. but you can do it whenever. Step 1: Brainstorming The first step is the easiest and probably the most fun. Example: Things I’d like to do before I die… Learn to box Get a graduate degree Speak five languages Complete a triathlon Live in China Go to the north pole Visit the pyramids Play chess in the park Take a trip somewhere nice with my mom Get married .In this report. Hold yourself to 20 minutes! Chances are the last 5-10 minutes you’ll be straining your brain. put it down on the piece of paper. how trivial or important. Pull out a blank sheet of paper and make sure you have a clock nearby. This should start out very easy but get harder as the time goes by. Everything. Take 20 minutes to yourself. Absolutely anything and everything that comes to mind. No matter how big or small. I’ll be giving some brief examples of each step of the exercise but will not complete them myself. Just keep writing. But keep going anyway. This is just to give you some ideas and help you get started. and write down everything you would like to do in your life before you die. or if a lot of your entries have got you thinking or reconsidering some things already. There’s absolutely no reason to be ashamed of anything you write. like giant strobe lights on your page. And if you do find yourself hesitant to write too much down. . Stop doing this! Seriously. when you’re writing your list. 23 entries are going to pop out at you.Have kids Etc. even better… In fact. Step 2: Ideal Life. it’s time to start honing in on what you ideal life should look like. this list is just between you and yourself. you may want to put the pen and paper down before the second step and take a break for a few hours. perhaps you should ask yourself why you’re so scared of accepting many of your own impulses. if you feel like you’re already processing a lot. chances are. This is good. If you particularly have a lot of surprises on your list. On the other hand. The specific entries may surprise you as well. As you do this first exercise. you may feel yourself get selfconscious or start judging some of your answers. Long-Term Now that you’ve got your brainstorm list and you’ve come up with more ideas of things to do than you’ll ever need. Example: My ideal life in five years would be me living in California. what job you’d have. probably San Diego. Describe where you would live. and a little bit real. and do it from time to time each week. We’ve now got your mind working actively on figuring out ways to achieve your dreams. I’d have a hot blonde girlfriend who would be awesome to hang out with. This is good. so I’d have a lot more control over my work load and pay. your mind will already be brainstorming ways to connect the dots from now to then. Etc…. I’d get back into painting. Take another sheet of paper and spend 20 minutes writing down the following: Describe your ideal life five years from now. Take your time and be as specific as possible.This is where things start to get interesting. My work hours would be flexible so I could go surfing often. But you’ll still have to use your imagination quite a bit and tap into some desires that you may not have known were there. You’re now motivating yourself from your own desires and not simply by pleasing others! Step 3: Ideal Life. once you finish this. This is a fundamental first step. Short-Term . what you would do each day. I’d have my own place near the beach. maybe even sell a few of them. I’d be focused much more on freelance coding and programming rather than stuck to any individual firm. Describe it in as much detail as possible. Chances are. who you’d spend your time with. what you’d spend your time doing. I’ll be able to approach girls when I go out on the weekend. this projection is getting far more actionable. Etc. But wait.Now that you’ve got your brainstorm list and you’ve come up with more ideas of things to do than you’ll ever need. As you’ll notice. I will have started my freelance business. we’re not done yet… Step 4: Passion/Time Ratio Now it’s time to really dig into your life and what you’re spending your time doing and root out the activities that aren’t serving you or moving you toward your ideal life. Example: In a year. This exercise is exactly like the last one. you are going to project it for one year. after you’ve written it. but also that they are a step towards your answer for Step 2. make three columns. it’s time to start honing in on what you ideal life should look like. In the first column write down everything you spend your time doing . This exercise is a three-parter and will probably take a bit longer than the others. it should be pretty obvious many of the steps you can start taking towards it. except instead of projecting your ideal life in five years. On a clean sheet of paper. Make sure your choices are realistic and attainable. In fact. and will have saved $20k. 1. I’ll also have a gym membership and will be regularly going and working out. give each item a rating. 2. Finally.each day. once you’ve got your lists finished. then just specify that in this column — “two weeks per year. Focus on the big ones. It’s hard to be happy and . If it’s something larger like traveling or seasonal like going to White Sox games or something. the first is that the guy really doesn’t enjoy his job. That sucks.” or “10 Saturdays per year. Ignore the small things like brushing your teeth or showering or sleeping. Activities which you spend a lot of time doing should have high numbers. go back through and look at how the numbers line up. in the last column. What we’re looking for are mismatches. from 110 based on how much fulfillment you get from that activity. Basically how happy that activity makes you.” or whatever. in the example above two big mismatches pop out at you…. go back and in the second column write down how many hours per week you generally spend doing this activity. For instance. Activities you don’t spend much time doing should have low numbers. 3. Once you can’t think of anything else. Example: And so on… Finally. and he works long hours. . you should have developed a pretty clear idea of what you need to be doing different. he’s averaging less less than an hour a day hanging out with friends. And this is just from a short.motivated and confident when you’re dropping 50 weeks on something you only value at a 3. both in the short-term and in the long-term. Step 5: Actionable Goals Finally. and get the job situation figured out. A few things to remember about goals: They need to be actionable. very basic list. The answer for this person is clear: ditch the TV to spend more time with friends (or invite your friends over to watch TV with you). The second mismatch is that he’s two hours a day of television. “Feel more comfortable . but doesn’t get much value out of it. they require a certain behavior to complete.e. And hopefully you’ve identified some things that ARE part of your life. For instance. and that’s something he really values. From the previous four steps. Meanwhile. The final step is putting together a handful of goals for you to accomplish. Chances are your list has a lot more going on in it. Hopefully you’ve been made aware of things that you’d like to be a part of your life which currently aren’t. we’re at the last step — the step that you’re actually going to use and apply to your life. but you’d prefer they weren’t. i. you now have a clearer long-term vision of what you want your life to look like. some definable. I can join a gym. Example: Goal #1: Lose 15 pounds Goal #2: Pass my CFA-I exam Goal #3: Get a girlfriend Actions for each goal: For goal #1. now for the exercise itself. Select a few important goals and then focus on them one at a time. preferably. It’s not something that can be measured or counted. OK. 2. Setting goals that are too unreasonable is the quickest way to demotivate yourself. Another common mistake is when people try to adapt multiple major life changes simultaneously. AND starting places to begin moving towards those goals. . Write down one thing you can do TODAY that will move you towards each goal. “Meet someone new without getting nervous. 1. in social situations” is not an actionable goal. It can be measured and it’s clear once it’s been accomplished. It’s another two parter. And that’s it. For goal #2 I can buy a study guide to start studying. Don’t set more than a few goals at a time. And for goal #3 I can join an internet dating site and/or go out tonight and approach five girls. If you’ve completed everything in this guide. actionable goals to complete within the next year.” IS an actionable goal. Set goals which are realistic within the given time frame. Write down 3-5 actionable goals for you to complete within the next year. the easier it’ll become to achieve subsequent goals. I recommend repeating this exercise each year. It needs to be exercised and it gets stronger. and what you may consider very important today. may not seem as important a year from now. Maybe two out of three. implementing change into your life will become easier and easier. Doing this sets off a chain reaction. Because that’s the beauty of all of this. you’ll realize a couple things: 1. In my experience. 2. If you do these exercises consistently for a few years. it’s normal to meet most. but not all of the goals you set each year if you keep on top of them. And that’ll be a good thing… . And one day. That your priorities will change with time. you’ll look back. years from now. Discipline is a skill. and will increase your motivation into the future. that if you follow it long enough. and maybe you won’t even recognize the person you are now. That the more of your goals that you achieve.Like I said in the beginning. Achieving goals based on your internal desires and motivations builds selfesteem.