Talk LeanShorter Meetings. Quicker Results. Better Relations. Alan H. Palmer Capstone © 2013 208 pages Book Rating 8 9 Applicability 7 Innovation 7 Style Focus Leadership & Management Strategy Sales & Marketing Finance Human Resources IT, Production & Logistics Career & Self-Development Small Business Economics & Politics Industries Global Business Take-Aways • “Talk lean” by being simultaneously direct and polite. • Save time in meetings by announcing your goals at the beginning. • Business objectives are distinct from meeting objectives, which must be “measurable and/or observable at the end of the meeting.” • Meetings always involve what’s left unsaid that could be said and what’s said that could be phrased differently. • Unspoken content – in any communication – is made up of everything you and others fail to say. • Spoken words can be ambiguous. People may speak “incompletely, imprecisely or plain untruthfully.” • Become a better listener by writing down everything a speaker says during a meeting. • Respond to speakers from your partner’s perspective (the “him/her path”), from your own perspective (“me”) or by combining your perspective with your partner’s (“us”). • When in doubt, ask. • Do what you say and say what you do. Concepts & Trends To purchase personal subscriptions or corporate solutions, visit our website at www.getAbstract.com, send an email to
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[email protected]) LoginContext[cu=836469,subs=1,free=0,lo=en,co=US] 2014-03-24 21:37:35 CET 1 of 5 In another example.” but to speak in language that’s natural. The adviser opens with. Palmer.. relative. Conversely. The second is analysis. Palmer bases his “talking lean” concept on the work of his mentor..what do we do?” These alternatives address the issue without provocation. Philippe de Lapoyade. Instead. Now. including dealing with tardy employees or overbearing managers. and 3) How to handle nonverbal communication. just as we do for Mr. a manager confronts a perpetually tardy employee by saying. regardless of their relationship with the speaker – whether a supervisor.. I’m determined to resolve this issue once and for all.. [those of us at] XYZ Bank need to do to have a chance of getting a mandate to manage your wealth. Talk Lean getAbstract © 2014 2 of 5 This summary is restricted to the personal use of Jose Boone (jose.co=US] 2014-03-24 21:37:35 CET . He explains how to gain respect by asking for what you want or need. as a consequence of your opening. co-worker.lean forward and say something which.” getabstract Politely to the Point “Talking lean” refers to how most people want you to speak to them. Few people know how to speak concisely without seeming rude. teacher or friend. I’m delighted to be here. founder of the Interactifs Discipline.. means: ‘I’m listening! Tell me more’..subs=1.boone@lennoxind. “Well.lo=en. I was hoping today that we could at least get to know each other a bit – and I’ve also brought along some material describing some of our industry-leading products. you will learn:r1) How to “talk lean.And by the end of the hour we have in front of us. how can I be sure that I can count on your punctuality in the future without it leading to a confrontation between us?” or “John. I’d like us to have listed together the different projects you have in mind and your financial priorities. Instead.” This opening is polite but long-winded. expands on this approach. don’t use any of these suggestions as scripts.” getabstract getabstract “Ideally. straightforward. “John. By the way. gaining new clients. “a clear understanding of what. His suggestions cover common business and personal situations.free=0. Smith. Why on earth do you persist in arriving late.Your punctuality at meetings is no longer negotiable. polite way.. however phrased.” The adviser explains he would use the information to develop a proposal. a former international advertising professional. He cautions readers not to use his examples as “scripts. getabstract getabstract getabstract Summary getabstract getabstract “Emotion is the first thing that gets in the way of rigorous listening. I’m approaching this meeting with confidence – but not with complacency..com) LoginContext[cu=836469. getAbstract recommends this practical manual to managers.. “I was really angry about what happened yesterday. so they don’t get what they need or want. even if I’m conscious of taking a hard line. The chastised subordinate may lash out in anger or give empty promises about doing better next time.” 2) Why talking lean is more effective for meetings and conversations.” Another option would be to say: “Given John Smith’s recommendation. who is named John Smith. People like being spoken to in a clear.this is a problem. Put them in your own language.” This opening is direct but not very nice.. courteous people often fail to assert themselves. first of all thanks very much for agreeing to see me.getabstract getabstract Relevance getabstract What You Will Learn In this summary. getabstract Review International trainer Alan H. concise and polite way. Say that a financial adviser meets with a wealthy prospective client who was referred to him by a current client. and running meetings. the adviser might say that he seeks. the manager could have said. trainers.. This strategy helps people be more effective by speaking in a direct.. the other person will. meeting organizers and anyone who would like to speak more directly. getabstract “Not only are the participants in most meetings not saying what they’re really thinking.untruthfully. Have a clear goal for each session and announce it at the outset in a direct. “I won’t be getting back to you. not increase it. understand that recipients may not understand them. The financial adviser above needs a first meeting to determine his prospective client’s needs before he could offer to manage the client’s portfolio and before the client would ask to hire him. Most business books discuss “active listening” – listening with your full attention and not just hearing.” getabstract “Piling up 10 arguments one on top of the other will diminish your impact. getabstract “We avoid the explicit for fear of being brutal. and the like.” People might say they’re interested in doing business with you when they have no intentions of doing so. email or phone contact might work as well or better.” Or. Many people Talk Lean getAbstract © 2014 3 of 5 This summary is restricted to the personal use of Jose Boone (jose. imprecisely or. they’re not listening properly to each other either.boone@lennoxind.” People might use irony.. People get bored and tune out when they feel a meeting wastes their time. there will inevitably be ambiguity. “When things are left unsaid. processing it and responding appropriately. To become a better listener in meetings. During Meetings Many leaders don’t run meetings efficiently.” And. Actually. might not want to comply with them or might want to compromise them. Others provide hints to their thoughts or emotions through body language. Writing will also inhibit your ability to think of a response..lo=en. Transmitting information and being sure of “the other person ‘receiving’ and understanding and knowing what to do with it” are two different matters. Meetings inevitably contain “all the things which are left unsaid in the meeting but which would serve its productivity if they were said. repeating back what you’ve just heard. nonconfrontational way. Advice for becoming a better listener is well meaning but often ineffective. but it’s the implicit which is the true brute.” becomes “I’ll get back to you. take notes.” “Business objectives” are different from “meeting objectives. “I’m not interested” becomes “We’ll think about it.” Meeting objectives can tie to business objectives later. Some meetings may not be necessary.” getabstract Unspoken content consists of what you and others fail to say.free=0. sarcasm. “Every minute which passes at the beginning of a meeting before you announce your real intentions will generate either suspicion or caution. Quickly revealing what you hope to accomplish shows respect for your colleagues’ time. not what you think is important.subs=1. Write down everything speakers say in order to understand what they think is important. People usually get to know each other in a first meeting but they don’t accomplish business goals until subsequent meetings. missed opportunities and the potential for serious misunderstanding. posture or other nonverbal cues. “Begin at the end by defining the parameters of the outcome you want the meeting to produce. At internal meetings.” Don’t hide behind a smoke screen of courtesy.” which must be “measurable and/or observable at the end of the meeting. true listening involves hearing what was said. “much of what is said in meetings and conversations is said incompletely. rhetorical questions or other confusing verbal expressions that “involve saying one thing but meaning something else... and all the things that are said in the meeting but which get in the way of its productivity.” getabstract “Being effective also means getting the result quickly rather than laboriously. some managers say their purpose is to “transmit information” without any other objective. nodding enthusiastically. Some people don’t speak because they fear sounding rude. Suggestions include adopting inviting body language. smiling.” getabstract Poor listening compounds poor communication.” getabstract Starting Meetings State your goals at the beginning of any meeting.” getabstract Once you announce your meeting objectives.com) LoginContext[cu=836469.co=US] 2014-03-24 21:37:35 CET . Second.” getabstract getabstract “If writing down what the other person is saying prevents your brain from using the time to analyze and formulate your next response. you didn’t understand his words and need an explanation.com) LoginContext[cu=836469. such as “What did you mean by what you just said?” or “What led you to agree to see me today?” The “me” path means outwardly expressing what you think internally.” You get Jim’s message and you react to it. so much the better. Usually. select one of these three conversation paths: 1. If your client.co=US] 2014-03-24 21:37:35 CET . “I want. and then ask the other person what they think of what you’ve just said. Tell your conversation partner what you “think. obviously hearing you clearly. “Hearing your description of what’s happening with the connectivity bars. I still very much want us to be able to do a deal together (me). getabstract “But whilst it may be common practice to set objectives for meetings. First. I’m initially discouraged to hear you say that you think the product is over-engineered (me). You respond from your own internal point of view (“me”). those objectives are often defined in a way which is insufficiently precise to serve the productivity of the
[email protected]=en. A better response would be. You respond from the other person’s point of view (“him/her”). Third. “I’m really frustrated because my computer’s connected to the router but I still can’t access the Internet.. “What am I going to need to do so that you. Analyzing your notes afterward also gives you more time to develop an appropriate response. What do I need to do with the product at the engineering level for you to be comfortable about the fit with your needs? (us). Jim. You call the IT Help Desk and say..” The “us” path involves “identifying or defining together with the other person a solution or a next step” or developing another alternative.free=0. ask Jim for clarification.subs=1. says to you.” Conversational Paths Ambiguity is a problem in meetings and in conversations. but you “feel that there is still stuff which is unsaid and which you want to be said. so you don’t waste time pursuing someone who is totally uninterested.” What does that mean exactly? “Interesting” could be positive or negative. I tell myself that XYZ.are so busy formulating a response that they don’t listen with complete attention. Instead. And. People react more strongly to negative emotions and don’t always process positive or neutral information.” getabstract getabstract “It is much more powerful and seductive to say to a potential customer: ‘I really want to work with you’ than to say ‘We’re hoping we can possibly reach a mutually beneficial agreement’.” “I need” or “Hearing you say ABC. His answers will determine whether the door is open to future business.” Given that concern. but you Talk Lean getAbstract © 2014 4 of 5 This summary is restricted to the personal use of Jose Boone (jose. I’m confident that I know what the problem is and that I can solve this pretty fast. You might ask why it’s over-engineered or you might argue that it does work for him. It’s very interesting.” getabstract getabstract “Try. want or need. but not his motives. 2.. does an “unofficial” budget contain any wiggle room? Does “over-engineered” mean the product is too complicated or is that code for appropriate but too expensive? You and your colleagues will probably respond to Jim in one of three ways. “I’ve been looking at your documentation.” getabstract Let’s say you’re having computer problems at work. You combine your own point of view with the other person’s point of view and respond accordingly (“him/her” plus “me” equals “us”).” Your technician responds by repeating exactly what you’ve said. Examples include. you understood his words. 3.to express yourself one idea at a time. There’s an exclamation mark on the connectivity bars at the bottom right-hand corner of the screen. you understood his words. You might acquiesce that you two are not a good match and he should go elsewhere. you ask about the immediate past.?” or “Where do we go from here?” You could even combine approaches as in the following “me-plus-us” example: “Well.. but frustratingly not offering a solution. you have three reasons to follow the “him/her” path. You’re better off knowing when the door is closed. Jim. but at first glance I think this is a little bit ‘over-engineered’ for our needs. And officially all our budgets are frozen until the end of the year.” “I’d like. To be more efficient. The “him/her” path involves dealing with the other person’s past actions.” You might say. getabstract getabstract getabstract getabstract About the Author getabstract Alan H. ask. bored to death or neither. If you do what you say and say what you do. remember that the other person has the solution. but others might not understand your unspoken messages.. Others might be suffering personal problems and taking their anger out on you. When in doubt. or maybe they don’t like how you handle things.. just say what you want or need. ask: “What do you think of what I just said?” Express your thoughts one at a time so others can digest them. “It is always legitimate to tell someone with whom you work.. such as including empty phrases like. After a meeting. In the first instance. Use the “us” path.. Talk Lean getAbstract © 2014 5 of 5 This summary is restricted to the personal use of Jose Boone (jose. many businesspeople consider this tactic too demanding or blunt. what you want from them or need from them...need clarification. they try to create an equal partnership by burying their needs and wants behind politer discourse.” As long as you’re courteous.” Sadly. “What do you think of me?” The answers can be informative.lo=en. “Would it be all right if I.” They train you to use “reformulation” strategies. In meetings.” You may consciously use gestures.. “What’s your impression. Raise each point of contention one at a time.. Palmer now works as an international trainer for Interactifs. “Nonverbal Communication” “No single body-language signal should be used as a reliable indicator. Alternatively. Other people can then offer their solutions quickly.. people will respect you more if you directly ask for what you want. no one’s body language will tell you what he or she is thinking. you need never worry about unconscious behavior. You can also use the “us” path to start meetings.” Instead.sooner or later someone will get frustrated that spades are not being called spades and will try to move things along by launching the verbal equivalent of a Scud missile. you might ask Jim what motivated him to meet with you despite having a frozen budget and thinking that you have an over-engineered product. Regardless of the answer. All you need to do is ask for help. Close each meeting with another question: “What did you think of the meeting?” Use openended questions to gather feedback rather than close-ended questions that require a yes or no answer. facial expressions or body language to convey words you don’t want to speak. Maybe they loved your predecessor.com) LoginContext[cu=836469. You can’t shut down nonverbal communication because.” Without verbal confirmation. Palmer worked in international advertising in London and Paris until he came across the Interactifs Discipline in 2004. “how do you feel about that?” If you disagree with others. you.” getabstract Business training courses and books promote the “me” path as a technique for “active listening. If your working relationships seem strained. ask.co=US] 2014-03-24 21:37:35 CET . getabstract “Every minute spent preparing and rehearsing your opening will save you 5 to 10 minutes in the meeting.?” And.” or “Would it be OK to. don’t steamroller them with arguments.. you will learn something and advance your levels of communication. Ask questions like. you can’t know whether he or she is in deep thought. such as by asking.” getabstract getabstract “Depending on the culture and the personalities of those present.boone@lennoxind.” getabstract getabstract “However much you may wish consciously to control your nonverbal communication. If someone sits at a meeting with folded hands staring at the ceiling.free=0. “You can’t switch off your unconscious mind. you will never be able to control all of it.subs=1. so you and your partner can work toward a solution or take future action. “If I understand you correctly. whether they’re a client or a colleague and whatever your respective levels within the hierarchy.