CFC- Singles for ChristLeaders Track Household Heads Training Manual v. 2011 1 CFC-SINGLES FOR CHRIST HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING (HHT) About the Training This training is catered for SFC discerned leaders who have finished at least the following: Covenant Orientation Weekend, Christian Character Weekend, Evangelization Training, Facilitators Training, Tongues Workshop. This training has the following goals: 1. Equip the household heads with the knowledge and skills they will need as household heads 2. Educate the household heads on their roles and responsibilities as well as the culture they should help build in their areas as household heads 3. Empower the household heads to carry out their anointed role relying on the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit Sessions: A.1. Household Heads Orientation (HHO) 1. Being a servant 2. The household: purpose, dynamics and leadership 3. Building relationships (combination of talks 3 & 4) 4. Evaluation 5. Zeal and single-mindedness for God A.2. Household Heads Orientation Workshops 1. How to lead worship 2. How to give a talk 3. How to conduct one on ones B. Household Heads Teaching Series (HHT) 1. Good Example 2. Brotherly love and evangelistic headship 3. Encouragement and correction 4. Prayer and intercession 5. Faith in God and humble leadership Qualifications for new Household Leaders • He or she must be an active member of SFC for at least a year. • He or she must have at least experienced being a CLP facilitator. • He or she must have attended already the Covenant Orientation (CO) Weekend and the Christian Character Weekend (CCW), the Facilitators Training, Evangelization Training, and the Tongues Workshop. Conduct of HLT 2 • The HLT is to be conducted by the different SFC clusters. • The HLT has two parts: Part 1 - Household Heads Orientation and Workshops (HHO), and Part 2 - Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTS). • The Household Heads Orientation (HHO), consisting of five talks, is given in one session prior to the household leaders assuming their positions. The HHO Workshops may be included in the same session or they can be done separately. • The Household Heads Teaching Series (HHTs) is composed of 5 talks. Ideally, these are to be given in 5 separate monthly sessions. Thus the whole HHT will be completed in less than a year. • To conserve resources, especially since the household leaders of a particular chapter would be on different activities during the year, it is recommended that the HHT be conducted on a cluster basis, with the SFC Cluster Head being the organizer. • The SFC Chapter Heads will be the service team together with the SFC Unit Heads to facilitate more leaders’ interaction within the cluster. Suggested format of the HHO Whole Day: 8:00 am 8:30 8:45 9:00 9:45 10:30 10:45 11:30 12:15 nn 1:00 pm 1:30 2:00 2:30 3:00 3:30 4:15 5:00 Arrival & Registration Opening Worship Ice Breaker Talk 1 Talk 2 Snacks/Energizer Talk 3 Talk 4 LUNCH Team-building/Energizer Workshop 1 Workshop 2 Workshop 3 Snacks/Energizer Talk 5 Open Forum Closing Prayer Half Day Part 1: 8:00 am 8:30 8:45 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 Arrival & Registration Opening Worship Ice Breaker Talk 1 Talk 2 Snacks/Energizer Talk 3 3 11:00 11:30 12:00 nn Half Day Part 2: 8:00 am 8:30 8:45 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 11:00 11:30 12:00 nn Talk 4 Open Forum LUNCH/Closing Arrival & Registration Opening Worship Ice Breaker Workshop 1 Workshop 2 Snacks/Energizer Workshop 3 Talk 5 Open Forum LUNCH/Closing Notes on the HHO session • The SFC Cluster Head can choose to have the whole-day format or the half-day format depending on the availability of the leaders. • The worship may be led by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head. • The talk may be given by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head. • The workshop may be given by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head. • The open forum is handled by an SFC Chapter Head and an SFC Cluster Head. • Creative activities (e.g. ice breakers, energizers, team-buildings, etc.) are included in the program to facilitate ample interaction among the leaders within the SFC Cluster. • Workshops are included as well to train the new Household Leaders on some of their technical duties such as leading worship, giving a talk and conducting one on ones. • An open forum is suggested to be conducted after all the talks of the HHO to entertain and address clarifications/questions from the newly installed Household Leaders. • After the HHO, the Household Heads Manual is given to each new Household Leader. • Finally, the SFC Unit Head (who is also the household head of the Household Leaders) is encouraged to use the HHO talks as their household topics in their next households so as to further assist the formation of his/her members as Household Leaders. Notes on HHTS sessions • Each HHTS session would normally consist of the following: 4 In such a case. Gaining wisdom from inputs during the open forum 3.30 minutes . • Finishing the HHT is a prerequisite to appointment as unit leaders. the household leaders now assigned as unit leaders will still have to continue and finish the HHT. • Finally. whether for acceptable reasons or not. as decided by the SFC Chapter Head. • Household leaders who have completed the HHT are no longer required to attend the next batches of HHO and HHT sessions. Those who are absent at sessions must secure and listen to a recording of the talk. can be grounds for removal as household leaders. building them up as a team and keeping them on track with the SFC vision and mission • Continued absence at HHT sessions. Other very important elements of training and formation in HHT are: 1. • However. • Absences may be permitted for acceptable reasons. and also of the open forum if this was recorded.15 minutes • The worship may be led by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head. 5 . • The open forum is handled by an SFC Chapter Head and an SFC Cluster Head. unless they desire to do so as a refresher or are directed to attend by the SFC Chapter Head.Worship Talk Open forum Fellowship . • An open forum is suggested to be conducted after each talk of the HHT to entertain and address clarifications/questions from the newly installed Household Leaders. Affording the SFC Chapter Head and the SFC Cluster Head the opportunity to be with and address the community's household leaders. Attendance • Attendance in the HHT is a must. the SFC Unit Head (who is also the household head of the Household Leaders) is encouraged to use the HHO talks as their household topics in their next households so as to further assist the formation of his/her members as Household Leaders. • The talk may be given by an SFC Chapter Head or an SFC Unit Head.45 minutes . There may be exceptions to this. Worshiping the Lord as a body of leaders 2.30 minutes . it is emphasized that the HHT is important NOT ONLY for the teaching given. He has forces under his control which are opposed to God and His followers. c) The above two realities should form our vision for our Christian service. the kingdom of darkness under Satan and the kingdom of light under our Lord. we need to understand the nature of Christian service. 6 . * Thus anything we do that involves taking someone from the dominion of Satan into the kingdom of light will involve us in this battle for the hearts and minds of men. 1 : BEING A SERVANT Expanded Outline A. 1. Any Christian service is automatically spiritual warfare. lack of education. * Satan has real spiritual power (Eph 6:12). We need to see the reality in the world around us not in the way that the world sees it. 2. There are two basic realities that we need to see. In order to be better Christian servants. Introduction. and only Jesus is able to do this. * Man needs to be reconciled with God.. * We are the instruments that God uses to bring other men back to Him. a) There are two kingdoms opposed to one another. human weakness. we need a vision of reality that can clearly point out to us the whole approach to service that we are to take. etc. Our battle is a spiritual one. a) We need to ask ourselves: * * * Why do we serve? Who are we as servants? How do we serve? b) In order to answer these.SINGLES FOR CHRIST HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION TALK No. b) Man is in sin and bondage and needs to be redeemed. * The fundamental problem of the world is not social ills (this is just the manifestation of the problem) but sin. but in the way God sees it.CFC. * Our enemy is not principally social problems. but a whole kingdom. Natural disinclination to being a "servant". The story of Martha and Mary. a) The emphasis is on being a servant rather than on doing service. 3. unable to become better on their own. b) The Christian doesn't seek to serve himself. C.3. The obedience of a servant. interests or personal gains. Either Jesus is Lord of all areas of our life. Phil 2:5-8. * During those times. or our ascription of master and Lord to him is meaningless. a) A requirement of the lordship of Jesus and our own servanthood is obedience to his authority. a) We think of "servants" as lowly. 1. * Obedience cannot be halfway or half-hearted. Rather. 2. They could not comprehend a situation where the servant is served by his master. Christian service is not simply what you do. We no longer own ourselves. We have been bought at the price of his blood. he humbles himself and puts himself at the disposal of everyone else. * Jesus' example. a) We have lost touch with the real meaning of the word "servant" as understood in Jesus' time. The duty of a servant. Obstacles to obedience. Heb 5:8. B. 7 . a servant (or slave) was someone who was another person's property and had no rights whatsoever. We are to be men and women who serve the Lord without regard for ourselves. 1. * We have no basis for insisting that God give us work to do that suits our personality. b) We are the Lord's servants. b) Lk 10:38-42. a) Christian service is not just another avenue for self-fulfillment. There are three important New Testament passages that we will examine in order to clarify our understanding of what it means to be a servant. * Thus Jesus' story must have been amusing to his listeners. doing menial work. but who or what you are as you do it. The identity of a servant. Lk 17:7-10. Growing into maturity as Christian servants. * Fidelity to service assigned. D. You can make commitments and stick to 8 . 1. He wants people he can truly count on. a) We often think first of what is good for us. Some signs of maturity: a) Christian wisdom and teachings are being applied to your lives. Human rebelliousness. and resolve to obey. b) Solution: A fundamental reorientation of our lives. what will fulfill us. * Realize that a servant of the Lord never goes into a situation for himself. c) Faithfulness characterizes your lives. Natural disinclination to think of other people first instead of ourselves. our brothers and sisters). 2. Lack of trust (in the Lord. will they take care of me? Can I rely on them? b) Solution: Have faith! * Realize that God calls us to serve Him and will care for us as a loving Father. 3. a) Our fallen nature is inclined to say "I will not serve". b) Solution: Repent. 2. d) You are men and women of your word. The Lord does not just want us to be enthusiastic and willing servants. b) Relationships (both with the Lord and with one another) are strong and full. but always looking out for how he can serve others. but he wants us to be mature Christian servants. our heads. * Attendance at meetings.b) Solution: Correct concept of being the Lord's servant. * Realize that God puts other people in headship position over us and He works through them. * Daily personal prayer. 4. * Realize that God has called us into SFC to experience brotherhood and sisterhood in the Lord. a) If I obey. 2 Cor 11:23-28. b) Our dying to ourselves is life-giving to others. appreciated or rewarded. 9 . b) All the difficulties involved with being a servant will produce joy for us. * Every new day should be taken as an opportunity to become more Christlike. * We put the Lord first. The cost of servanthood. E. 1. f) You are servants who can serve without having to be acknowledged. 3. * We simply serve out of our love for God and neighbor. We are all privileged to be the Lord's servants. a) To be fruitful we must fall into the ground and die. But being God's servant will involve some hardship and suffering. Jn 12:24-26. Conclusion. Our lives are like a grain of wheat.them. our motivation is not reward or recognition. a) Perhaps none of us would ever have to go through Paul's experiences. e) You are working on the various obstacles and shortcomings in your lives as Christians. * Though God and SFC do appreciate your efforts. 2. There is a purpose for the difficulty. * We die to our self-interest. DYNAMICS AND LEADERSHIP Speaker's Outline Note: The following is a brief outline of what the content of your talk should be. The Household. Frequency 2. 1. 1. Composition B. 1. Other Group Activities NOTE: The Household Heads Manual is to be given out to the new household leaders. Purpose 3. His role 2. Some areas to refer to the Unit Head 4. Topics for Discussion F. Ingredients 4.SINGLES FOR CHRIST HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION TALK No. Venue 3. The Household Members. Attitudes they should have 2. His basic attitudes to his work 3. please refer to the Household Heads Manual. The Household Head. 2 : THE HOUSEHOLD: PURPOSE. Duration E. Also given out is the "Orientation of new households to SFC" manual. 10 . A. The Household Meeting.CFC. Attendance D. For further material with which to flesh out your talk. Practical steps C. 1. Definition 2. SINGLES FOR CHRIST HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION TALK No. Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit.CFC. You are all called to do God's work in SFC. You can call on him/her anytime for support. * Don't think that you've always got to give a good report. 3. Introduction. You yourselves are all under pastoral care. * Look to growing in confidence and capability each new day. but rather as a network of pastoral leaders serving together. B. b) You need to respond humbly and fully. a) He/she is committed to you and the members of your group. a) Do not feel unworthy. How should you relate to your Unit Head? 1. Understand your relationship with him/her. God is doing something new. a) We leaders in SFC are not serving in isolation from one another. b) Just be open to those over you regarding any aspect of your service. advice or prayers. 2. 1. b) You are all learning and growing in your ability to serve in this new way. Learn from one another. You are all new to this kind of pastoral leadership. a) This is very important work. We are looking for a 11 . 3 : BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS Expanded Outline A. You are leaders of cell groups which make up the basic support structure for CFC members. not only for your personal lives but also for your service. c) Don't hold back from telling him/her your problems in leading the group. for God Himself Who calls you will also empower you. b) His/her desire is to see you develop and grow in your service and in your life and to see your members grow in the Lord. * * * Encourage one another. He/she is for you. Being household leaders involves the exercise of what we call "evangelistic headship". 2. * * * * * How are they growing in Christ? Daily prayer? Relationship with their family? Relationship with authority? Yours and overall SFC? Problems if any. * * * Do you have enough time for yourself. You are to reach out also to your members and help move them on in their relationship with the Lord and as brethren in CFC. romantic relationship. b) It is based on a personal caring relationship. c) Developing a pastoral vision for the household. What to talk to your Unit Head about? a) The Household. * * * * * Are your members relating to one another well? Are they free to share with one another? Do they worship freely together? Do they ever do anything together outside of the household meeting? How is their general attitude towards SFC? b) Individual members. 1. D. 12 . 2. * Don't protect your members from him/her. job and service? What are the extra demands of your household that pulls you down? How are you experiencing your service? Are you growing in confidence? Do you need more help? C. Note that your role as a household head is not just to relate to your unit head. What does each one need? Do not be ruled by what each member wants.realistic assessment to see God's will regarding your group. a) It involves continuing evangelization. d) Your time and service. 1 Thes 2:7-12.7). Elements of evangelistic headship. pray and seek God's will. Gentleness (v. * * * Have some goals in mind for the whole household and discuss them with your Unit Head. In both. What do they need? Have some goals for the individual members in your household. family. personal problems. It is a battle to change people and it will not just happen easily.10). 2. We share a common life. Diligence and perseverance (v. etc. 3. * Take an interest in their interests.. c) Meet outside regular meetings. * Do not be abrasive or inflexible. * Be loving and gentle. not in the middle of the night. - * Ask about their family. * But teach them to be reasonable in seeking you out (e. Even a mother corrects.8). * But be firm if there is a need.a) Do not come down too hard on your member's shortcomings. Let them have access to you. visit them at home or at work. * When the opportunity presents itself (or make your own opportunities). 4. b) We are all part of one body. except if there is a real emergency). b) Be open and available. Personal concern (v. * You need to be friends. Integrity (v. * Exercise pastoral patience. Keep a journal so you can keep track.g. * State your commitment to them and communicate your desire to serve them. a) Always be reaching out to them. romantic relationship. 13 .9). Behind it all is setting your heart on them to love them. a) It is not just a functional relationship. * Make clear the relationship is one of brotherhood and service to them. b) Be like a "nursing mother". work. * Have recreation together. and CFC as a community. Encouragement (v. The effect of evangelistic headship. how they handle their daily life. Identify with their joys and sorrows.). a) This is the call to every Christian. school. We are all to love one another as brothers and sisters in Christ. comfort. you carry them in your heart. An important and interesting note: Notice that the above involves the whole range of caring that happens within a family. * When someone first opens up. how they behave at meetings. Borrowing money from your members. etc. c) Keep in touch with their concerns (family. * They should not experience their life changing just independently. support. b) But the caring relationship should reinforce and strengthen the members' love for their leaders. Love. 5. sister and father to their members. * Give them insights on why they do the things that they do.. but rather. Being critical of SFC. be able to hold them up with your support. a) Just like a father/mother to his/her children. b) It is not just a question of not sinning. etc. E.) and give inputs from time to time. but of not doing anything that can subject you to criticism. Empathize. lovelife. * E. health. * Provide encouragement. * Communicate to them that you are aware of these. Lording it over them. The household leaders in certain ways act out the roles of mother. What is the desired response from the members? 1.a) You must be a person who is beyond reproach.g. * Observe and notice them (how they pray. brother. * Say helpful things about difficulties. d) Be able to laugh and cry with them. 14 .11-12). * Let them know that you are not just concerned about what you want them to do but also about their concerns. occupation. and this is sometimes expressed to them. b) Help them to know themselves. Listen carefully.You don't know everything and you can't solve all problems. . * Don't be a know-it-all. Confidence. .Let them know what your mind really is. * It frees them to give of their whole selves.You don't just give out love. then the result is that they become more open to the word of God through you.Give them a fair and honest evaluation. 15 . a) This frees them to give themselves over to your headship. F. b) How do you earn respect? * Show them you respect them. Be willing to say "I don't know".Be willing to take a stand. etc. even though sometimes you can make concessions. . but you also need to correct and admonish when necessary.Don't beat around the bush. you become more free to give them more that you yourself have learned. if you are to be effective in helping them to change. You need to be respected. ..2. advice. 1 Thes. If the above desired response from members happens. * It does not become necessary to question all you say.Don't put them down. . * They become more ready to hear God's word coming from you. * Be able to be firm when something needs to change. * They can let go of their self-protectiveness. . b) This opens them to receive advice and wisdom from you. * Be straightforward and honest. Conclusion. . It will boomerang and you end up with even less credibility.Don't bluff. a) It is not enough to be loved. c) As you experience them putting more confidence in you. They can put down their defenses. 3. They become more open to the work of the Holy Spirit. . Respect. . 2:13. * Be an example and a model to others. * Be able to say: "Imitate me as I imitate Christ" (1 Cor 11:1). People grow in confidence as they see you grow in holiness and in Christian character.1. 16 . b) Put your faith in Jesus. a) 1 Tim 4:12-16. a) Take this responsibility seriously. You need to grow yourself. b) They must know that you can take them as far as God has taken you. You have the privilege to guide new SFC members in their new life in the Lord. 2. 3. Our goal in serving in SFC is to be the best for the Lord and for the people He has entrusted to us. what comes first is our relationship as brothers and sisters. failure to achieve. B. b) Poor functioning. 1. 2. Our perspective: members of the body have different gifts and functions. a) Experience is a great teacher. a) We are unconsciously trained to examine ourselves in comparison with others. 3. c) Evaluation helps us to learn how to maintain successful elements of our service. 2. fierce competition affects salary and position. Our attitude should be that we want our service evaluated openly and honestly. a) We should not be afraid to be shown that we have committed a mistake. The context of Christian evaluation.CFC. A process that will enable us to serve better is evaluation. * * * Grades in school can cause difficulties due to emotional and psychological pressure. low performance levels. Introduction. b) We should desire to constantly learn and improve on our work for the Lord.SINGLES FOR CHRIST HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION TALK No. 12. a) How successful we are in our performance is not what determines love for and commitment to one another. Social competitiveness. In the business world. b) Being looked on as OK is always at the expense of someone else. For Christians. 1. 1 Cor. will not be reasons for rejection. 4 : EVALUATION Expanded Outline A. 17 . and regular evaluation helps us to learn from our experiences. Competitiveness and hostility in society make evaluation a fearful thing. b) Evaluation enables us to avoid repeating mistakes. Feedback. Always correct in private. b) Anyone can give feedback to the person responsible for a particular task or area of service. and improvements for the future discovered. b) Especially for major community events. a) The whole SFC community should often engage in evaluation at different levels. * The music ministry can evaluate how effectively they are contributing to communal worship. c) We also need to affirm our brethren's gifts and achievements. * Households can evaluate how their meetings are going and how relationships are developing. * Subordinates can give feedback to those over them. gossip or slander. 18 . 2.Rom. a) All these gifts must work interdependently in order to achieve the common good of the body. * We try to help everyone else to achieve maximum effectiveness using their gifts. * This helps people become more secure in their service. 12:3-8. * We are all in this together. so that lessons may be learned. b) We do not compete with one another. * The chapter can regularly evaluate how its evangelization is going. Evaluation occurs in SFC in three ways. 1. complaining. a) SFC members should be encouraged to have a sense of responsibility for how things go in our life and mission. C. Evaluation sessions. * Expressing negative criticisms to just anyone can become grumbling. Responsibility does not lie only with the leaders. c) It is best to give negative feedback only to the person who has responsibility for the service. there should be a time for evaluating the events. * The Lord speaks to every member and can use anyone to point things out. but rather we work together as a team. * This can result in freedom to serve more effectively and a sense of security in working for the Lord. Avoid the tendency. a) There should be no hinting. Be careful to give evaluation in a way that does not question the heart or commitment of the individual or group. * Do not be afraid to give critical evaluation. Exchange ideas for improving what is basically a good situation. discuss areas that can be improved and offer negative criticism. in turn. 19 . Begin with an overall view of the situation or impression. * Say it in a way that is helpful and can be accepted readily by the person concerned. * Give critical evaluation as specifically as possible. 2. concentrate on the positive before the negative. a) First. set the context. 3. We must be open and straightforward. How to give evaluation. Evaluation by heads. * * * Commend people for what they have done well. b) It is very helpful for a person to know from those who oversee his/her service how well he/she is doing. * They should acknowledge mistakes right away. D. coming from a worldly understanding of evaluation. should not question our love for and commitment to him/her.3. b) We are responsible to inform people who are not doing well in order to allow them to change and improve. 1. a) Those with responsibility for different areas of service ought to conduct regular evaluation of the service and of the individuals who are performing it. b) The one being evaluated. we should recognize the stability of a person's commitment. Follow a right order to evaluation. a) Rather. b) Then. c) Having noted the positive contributions. negative humor or manipulation. while addressing what he has done wrong. * They should avoid being apologetic and trying to rationalize. to pick out faults. irregardless of how it is said or by whom. 2. 12:5-9.* We should not ignore a problem. Heb. But God wants to use us in spite of ourselves. * * We should want to get things exposed and look at criticism as an occasion to change. 3. We should be humble. with the knowledge that we can count on others to point things out to us. We should be grateful to have brothers and sisters who care enough for us to give us evaluation. correcting them if necessary. Critical evaluation is b) We should not question their love for and commitment to us. E. a) Positive evaluation is important for our encouragement. Conclusion. or fear candor and honesty. Christian evaluation is an important tool for our growth in loving and serving the Lord. as long as we are open and willing to learn from Him. 9:8-9. b) This frees us in our service. 1. How to receive evaluation. knowing that we do not know everything. 1. We should set aside any defensiveness. F. Prov. important for improvement in our service. We are sinful and worldly. 2. 3. a) The wise man appreciates being shown his errors. and we will continue to commit mistakes as we serve the Lord. Prov. We need to value constructive criticism. 20 . 12:15. c) Real love seeks what is best for others. 21 . are afire with zeal for personal 22 . while they do not neglect to do what good they can. Those who detest and avoid wrongdoing. They do not burn with a desire for a more complete holiness. They might put off caring for other people in order to preserve their own peace. are enough for them. 4. Those who do no evil. B. Four kinds of "good" people. a) Just so much prayer. b) They remain quietly content with this spiritual level. Introduction.. Thus. 3. a) They lack other. 1. intimate knowledge of God. b) However they are not inflamed with fervent zeal against the vices of others or the dangers of their sins. 2. a) They eagerly desire the spiritual and internal virtues --fondness for prayer. and desire greater personal holiness. 5 : ZEAL AND SINGLE-MINDEDNESS FOR GOD Expanded Outline A. etc. more positive virtues. service. practice virtue. yet. b) Just like baptized infants. our hearts should be troubled whenever we find anything that is not right with God. experience of divine love. c) They remain intent upon God and themselves. 1. yet do not devote themselves faithfully to doing good. Our "goodness" could be measured by the extent to which we feel a pure and growing hatred for evil.CFC. Those who refrain from evil and also devote themselves to frequent good deeds. almsgiving. We must be men and women who passionately want to promote God's kingdom on earth. they see no need to do more than that. yet lack equal concern for the holiness of others. but feel no wound of sorrow when they see the opposite. Those who avoid wrongdoing.SINGLES FOR CHRIST HOUSEHOLD HEADS TRAINING HOUSEHOLD HEADS ORIENTATION TALK No. fervently commit themselves to whatever good they can do. They want everyone to be good and live in grace. 2. and abandon higher things to others. a) All SFC members have freely and willingly made their commitment to the Lord and to the body. Thus their hearts should be as much moved by love of righteousness and hatred of evil as is God's heart.. 45:8. has anointed you. a) They obtain no comfort from progress toward their own salvation unless they are also leading others to God. 23 . Zeal for righteousness stems from the very basis of our Christianity." D. Faithfulness to the covenant of SFC. 23:22-24. 2. Growth in love for God and for neighbor. his worship carried out and his honor exalted. 3. serve and honor God more than anything else. c) As household heads. 3. Selflessness. and have zeal for winning souls. Phil. 4. but emptied himself. Areas not essential for salvation but desirable for making spiritual progress. They should live up to it. 2:7. a) Faithfulness to and punctuality in meetings. C. "You love justice and hate wickedness. a) Their position demands that they act on God's behalf. 1. and if others are not in right relationship with Him. he was not content only to possess glory. b) Jesus' example: Although he always had complete joy in himself. but even more. this love for others is especially necessary for those who are leaders. given our evangelistic mission. These make the best persons for leadership in SFC. your God. Although all Christians should love their neighbor. love of God and of neighbor. but loves to see his will accomplished. b) Ps.righteousness. A person who loves his neighbor desires not only health and prosperity for him. 4. Love of God and neighbor should cause us to mourn if God is dishonored or disobeyed. we should be this 4th kind of "good" Christian. b) Deut. Active participation in the life of the Church. A person who loves God not only desires to enjoy his goodness and be close to him. namely. He wants all people to know. taking the form of a servant. eternal salvation. 2. in order to lead many others into glory with him. Frequent reception of the sacraments. Areas of concern (exercise of zeal) in our own lives and in the lives of our household members. therefore God. love. 1.. Lk. thus for winning souls. and a realization of human fallibility. * Be in touch with your Unit Head. 17:3. a) Be simple and straightforward. * Charismatic dimension. E. 24 . If you have no enthusiasm. Correction 1. neither will your members. c) Be authoritative. 141:5. * Do not allow any wrongdoing to remain unrepented of or uncorrected. SFC's brand of spirituality. * The money is used for evangelization. * This is not part of our covenant. b) Exercise of spiritual gifts. Deal with the wrongdoing of members. * Your authority comes from God and is to be exercised in the community where we have committed ourselves to. but it is part of being a good mature Christian. c) Financial support for the CFC community. 2. * Do not remain silent and pretend to know nothing when you ought to speak out. e) Avoidance of a critical spirit or attitude. d) Submission to headship. At the heart of scriptural appreciation for correction is a hatred of sin. b) How? * Do not condone any wrongdoing nor concede that any wrongdoing is acceptable.* Household leaders show the way. b) Thus zeal + love of neighbor = correction. a) Ps. * Authority is a gift from God which is given to us as a means/help to move us on in our spiritual lives. Two specific applications: Correction and Encouragement. not weakens. * Do not allow vices and bad practices to grow. 2.* Look to correction as a pastoral tool for growth. Rom. At the start of Jesus' ministry. * He supports. * An encouraging person builds up and strengthens people by his presence and words. "Encourage" is a compound of two words": "en" = to put in or into. 3. * Again at transfiguration. a) Not just correction (look at wrongs) but encouragement (look at what's right). strength. Your accountability as head to correct. to encourage means to put courage into someone. you will be accountable to God. Wisdom 6:4-5. God encouraged him. * You would bear the guilt for the faults of your subordinates. Ezek. You also have a duty to encourage. Mt. a) Thus literally. a) You are God's representatives. but to show the seriousness of your work. a) Mt. but praise. 17:5. You have been given responsibility over God's people. b) God is the source of all encouragement. Encouragement 1. Your members look up to you and obey you because you have the Lord's place. b) If you neglect your duty. and "courage" = confidence. 15:5. * This is not to scare you. in that you could and should have corrected them but didn't. 3:17. 3. * We follow His ways. 33:8. b) How to encourage: 25 . * You would be guilty of neglect for not doing what your duty called for. * Do what you can to overcome wrongdoing. b) Not just criticism. F. 1. they went back to the disciples after breaking bread with Jesus. 26 . * Many people have low self-esteem. * Our encouragement helps people to discover themselves. * Praise. advice. a) The wrong reason can easily lead us to change course. * God's news is good news. people quickly respond to discouraging news. Through words. We need to examine our reasons for following Jesus. * Love them so they move on. honoring. We need to be persevering as we desire to FOLLOW Jesus as leaders of our households.. 3:7-10. not bad. 66-69. but kindness. who can share that spirit with others. Jn. 7. * Not always correcting. joy. A fruit of encouragement is growth in perseverance. 4. release. We are to bring the good news of liberty. rejoicing over what the Lord has already done. They were disappointed because of wrong expectations (v. E. Not so much comfort.g. obstacles and trials. 1. c) Thus. our basic attitude as household leaders needs to be one of encouragement. etc. 2. They seem to have given up. Mt. comfort. * Urge on/exhort. but challenge. * Support (situation where one cannot cope). hope. Lk. Motivate. 24:13ff. a) God looks for eternal optimists. On the positive side. Lessons from the Emmaus story. Two men on the road to Emmaus. Perseverance is a Christian quality especially needed to overcome problems. G. to appreciate who they are. There is plenty of bad news around and unfortunately. b) John the Baptist condemns superficial and opportunistic "repentance". They need to be affirmed.* Comfort. 6:26-27. prayers or just presence. b) We cannot encourage enough. encouragement.21). But we just need to continue doing what is right. * Heb. But we are to show the "same zeal till the end". 2. b) Some Scripture passages. a) Prepare for the long haul. there should be no turning back. 27 . We can never be fully mature. This way. if we have a right relationship with him. There's always more that the Lord wants for us. In our new life.c) Looking on Christianity as a problem-solver. so that if necessary we can return to the world. Results of such an outlook: * Disappointment if the problem is not resolved. a) Anecdote about a beleaguered army having to make a decision on whether to flee out to the sea in their boats or to stand and face the advancing enemy. our motivation becomes pure. a) The proper attitude: Phil. * 2 Thes. thus eliminating the choice. we are to go on. How can we be singleminded for God? 1. then grows lazy and takes things for granted. 2. b) We can only be singleminded for God if our vision is clear. * Turning away from Jesus once the problem is resolved because there is no longer any need for him. * Everything else is garbage compared to Christ. "Burn your boats". * Inability to accept Jesus' hard teachings. Learn to persevere and be patient. 6:11-12. and if we know where we are going. The commander had their boats burned. 3:16. 3:13. H. We need to open up our hearts and let the word of God burn in our hearts. 3:8. Sometimes doing good can be tiring. Moving on in the Christian life is the task of a lifetime. Sometimes one starts off very zealous in the Christian life. Whatever spiritual state or level we are in. * Phil. * We need to forego all other options. but we keep our boats in reserve. if we know the place of Jesus in our life. b) Practical application: * Many of us come into a new life in the Lord. but how much love we put in that action. Obedience. b) Ask the Lord to show what virtue you can grow most in. for the smile is the beginning of love. 15:58. how much we do does not matter. Sometimes the problem is that we do not see the fruit of righteous living. * 1 Cor. I. We need to persevere. How can we grow in singlemindedness for God? 1. And let us all meet each other with a smile. The example of Mother Teresa. Set a goal in personal virtue. Giving things up like more sleep in favor of more prayer. it is not how much we do but how much love we put in the action that we do. We will reap the harvest. "Take up your cross and follow me". Humility. Righteous living might even seem like such a burden. Forbearing in relationship difficulties. 2:3-4. * Without personal virtues. Thus we need to acquire desirable virtues. God is pleased. - Mother Teresa: "Love begins at home. To God Almighty. There will always be some distractions that are too attractive.* Gal. Phil. a) Growing in singlemindedness for God is connected with righteous living. b) In fact. Jesus' example. 6:9. 28 . a) There are many opportunities that present themselves: * * * Denying ourselves too much of the pleasures of life. the Christian life is a life of embracing and loving the cross of Christ. Some examples: * * * * * Steadfastness. Courage. Let us keep that joy of loving Jesus in our hearts and share that joy with all that we come in touch with" - The most villainous person she has met is described by her as "Jesus in a very distressing disguise" 2. 3. How much we do to him in the person we are serving. a) Jesus did not promise that if we followed him there would be no more problems. then get tired and finally turn back to their old ways. Tobit 4:5-6. we cannot be singleminded for God. Kindness. But the fruit is there. knowing what awaits us. b) These help us to focus less on ourselves and more on God. Seek to suffer a little every day for God. Some come into a life in the Lord. Pray for God's will to be done in your life. b) It is only God Who can truly comfort us. God is our consolation. a) God has the best plan for our lives. * Even when we cannot see beyond the difficulty of the moment. 2. * Because this is ideal for headship. * This is an assurance that all household members will be helped to move on. Conclusion. a) We should not only be resigned to God's will. 29 .3. It entails us to serve Him with utmost dedication and commitment. * Mt. 5. a) Through evangelization. * But be careful. 11:28-30. Seek consolation only from God. * Jer. There are four types of good people. but actively and eagerly pray that His will come to pass in our life. and will grant them. 29:11. 4. We need to approach the Lord without any preset agenda. 3. b) Have faith that our Father knows best. b) We need to let go of our preconceived notions of what is best for us. Our zeal for God grows into perseverance for God’s call to righteousness is very difficult. a) Household leaders should strive to be the 4th type. Detach yourself from your desires and plans. especially from those closest to us. 1. bringing God's life to others. God delights in such prayers. but a practical and realistic one. but God never will. J. * In the midst of difficulty. Every one else can fail us. b) Through caring for members of SFC. God uses our zeal for righteousness to help other people. a) This is not only the proper attitude. The program also aims to explain the purpose and dynamics of household meetings. time and schedule. 30 . II.4. Introduction This manual is for the use of household leaders in conducting their household meetings right after the Christian Life Program (CLP). Attitude of members to the household head and to each other. c. This orientation program seeks to develop an atmosphere where members in the household feel comfortable with one another and are growing in their relationship as brethren. We can only move on in these areas as we become more and more focus on the Lord and our life and mission in Him. Role of Household Leaders Overall. Meeting place. It sets-up the structure whereby household members can begin to share and experience a life lived under the power of the Holy Spirit. The program also seeks to develop an atmosphere of trust and openness among the members. d. 2. III. It intends to establish among the household members clear expectations of the: a. CFC – SINGLES FOR CHRIST ORIENTATION OF NEW HOUSEHOLDS TO SFC ORIENTATION PROGRAM OBJECTIVES AND MECHANICS I. 4. 3. Role of household members. It covers the three-month period between the CLP and the next part of our formation program. the Covenant Orientation. Role of the household head. 5. Let us be singleminded for God. b. Objectives Following are the objectives of the Orientation Phase: 1. the role of the household leaders is to introduce the members into the pattern of life of SFC and to see to it that members are gradually being integrated into the culture of SFC. children. residence. Have a time for questions and answers. 5.More specifically. Purpose of household meetings (Sec. 2. a. this 3-month phase may encompass at least 6 household meetings in all. among others. household leaders are expected to do. including the leaders. d. IV. Help members to understand and appreciate the values and practices of SFC. Exhort participation – in singing. Content of the Meetings Since there are 2 household meetings in a month. C-2) Ingredients (Sec. Following are the proposed contents for each of these meetings. D-3) 4. The household head may opt to have topics or content other than these. Have one song and then a prayer by the household head. Help members develop an attitude of trust and confidence in the Lord and with one another. D-3-a). 31 . b. a. c. as long as the basic objectives for this phase are met. Have a short prayer to start. exercise of spiritual gifts. Start off with brief introductions by each member of the household. This can include: names. 6. Note: It would be good to collate basic information about the household members and give these out to everyone for their respective references. telephone. Assist members to appreciate their new way of life. Meeting No. Expound on how you will be conducting the time of worship starting the next meeting. 4. 3. who should go first. Help members adjust and adapt into a new pattern of life and behaviour. work and family info. age. Explain the following (refer to your household head's manual): a. b. praising. It should be only about 5 minutes per member. such as: name. 3. Explain the sequence (Sec. A-2) Your role as household head (Sec. the following: 1. Agree on your subsequent meetings. residence. 1 1. 2. birth dates. individual prayers of thanksgiving and petition. work. These should be only basic information. b. B-2) Attendance (Sec. a. Go quickly over the Bible Reading Guide. a. and relationships. 3. 4. 8. What time? Have an "arrival time" and a "starting time". How they were introduced to SFC and what made them decide to join. Before the sharing. a. Encourage faithfulness to daily Bible reading. 6. 7. 6. Meeting No. 32 . Where? For ease of remembering. Have full worship. Topic: a. Have your time of fellowship. What day? b. Remind everyone to have his or her own Bible and to bring it to every meeting. 5. 2 1. exhort all to punctuality. c. Examine the time of worship. do the rotation of venues based on the surnames of the members. 2. b. Stress that the meeting will start punctually on the designated starting time. Have your time of fellowship. Surface any concerns the members might have. 3. Encourage all to read one spiritual book a month. Have your time of fellowship. Did people participate actively? b. C-1-b). 9. 5. Reiterate the principle of confidentiality (Sec. 8. 7. What changes are they observing or experiencing in their lives – home. Go over the desired attitudes of members (Sec. c. Does everyone have his/her own Bible? b. Exhort all to greater participation and openness to the leading of the Holy Spirit. 2. 3 1. drawing from our publications in CFC/FLAME Ministries. Meeting No. Have full worship. Discuss the dynamics a bit. encourage openness. If anyone was late. usually about 15 minutes later. using the guide. office. Have the time of sharing. going alphabetically. Try to keep the whole meeting within 2 1/2 hours. C-1). Surface any concerns they might still have regarding SFC and their household group. family prayer. 2. 7 1.Meeting No. schedule of activities. relationship with children. Topic: Share on personal life – interests. Topic: Share on family life – relationship with spouse. a. 8 1. How are they appreciating God's call to be in a particular body. Topic: Share on how they are experiencing growth in and through SFC. Topic for sharing: a. fellowship. Where are they at in relation to who they ought to be and what they ought to be for in CFC Singles for Christ? 3. 2. 5 1. Meeting No. Meeting No. 9 1. work. How are they experiencing personal conversion and developing their personal relationship with Jesus? b. discussion/sharing. family recreation. 2. Full worship. which is SFC? Note 33 . family schedule. Have full worship. Meeting No. and fellowship. Do they understand what CFC and SFC stand for? b. and fellowship. Meeting No. 6 1. hobbies. discussion/sharing. 2. Full worship. 2. and fellowship. Full worship. Full worship. etc. etc. Full worship. and fellowship. Have your time of fellowship. 2. 4 1. discussion/sharing. Discuss the SFC logo. Meeting No. Topic: Share on personal prayer and Bible reading. discussion/sharing. 34 . The next phase after this Orientation of New Households is a two-day retreat or weekend retreat referred to as the "Covenant Orientation".1. this can be devoted to a time of fellowship or a purely social activity. You may choose to do a variety of activities. either in a home or outside. Whenever there is a fifth week in the month. 2. some of the topics of the above mentioned meetings will have to wait for another time. In case the recollection is late. Christian books. then there will be added household meetings where the topics will have to be decided on by the household head. etc. You have a variety of sources for topics: the CLP talks. In case this is scheduled early. 3. the household: 1. after one year). Builds faith and provides for mutual encouragement through the sharing of life experiences and God’s practical wisdom. Provides friendship and brotherhood/sisterhood. Necessity of household membership Every SFC member is to belong to one household as one of its members. THE HOUSEHOLD HEAD A. Thus. Purpose The purpose of the household group is to build an environment for the support of the Christian life of singles and to provide a means of encouraging and hastening growth in the Christian life. Provides support for each other’s needs. B. As such.CFC – SINGLES FOR CHRIST THE HOUSEHOLD HEADS MANUAL I. During these occasions membership will be changed and redistributed to other households. II. and Chapter Heads) all belong to households for their own personal support in the Christian life. Composition A household is composed of five to seven singles including the household head. C. every SFC leader participates in two households. D. there would be occasions when households would be reorganized. units and chapters. Unit Heads. As such. Definition A household is a grouping of singles who meet regularly during the week for personal sharing and for mutual support and encouragement in the Christian life. 4. The household is comprised of singles who finished the Christian Life Program (CLP) and who have made their commitment to the covenant of the CFC Singles for Christ. without which our Christian life lacks joyful expression. Helps people overcome obstacles to growth in the Christian life. the household is the basic unit in the pastoral structure of CFC Singles for Christ (SFC). SFC leaders (Household Heads. one which he leads and the other where he in turn is led. The household is set up immediately after the end of the CLP. Definition The household head is the SFC brother or sister appointed to take care of a 35 . In succeeding years (at least. 2. THE HOUSEHOLD A. Availability 2. B. b. Gives direction and listens completely to his members ideally. honor and respect 2. b. meeting b. c. C. growing spiritually good order in personal life a good appreciation of the vision. The Household Head is the designated leader over a group of singles and is responsible for all the activities of the household and for the good order of the household meeting. he takes this up with his Unit Head. 3. In case of such disagreement. Does not use the household meeting to ventilate disagreements with SFC. Gets help for them whenever it is available. two of which are prayer meetings while the other is an assembly and another is a teaching. b. Qualifications of a Household Head The household head is selected based on the following criteria: 1. The Role of the Household Head 1. He gives pastoral support through household meetings done four times a month. d. once a month through one-to-one sessions. 5. at least. sharing/discussion c. c. He has no authority over members’ lives but exercises concern for their lives. a. a. Supports fully any decision on movements of singles from one household to another.household. Formation a. especially in the areas of righteousness and good order. The Household Head acts as an older brother/sister to the group. and helps these members make their movements with ease and a minimum of difficulty. mission and culture of SFC faithful to SFC commitments 36 . He helps each member to be fully integrated into the household and into CFC Singles for Christ. 6. 4. a. He supports the life in SFC and the decisions of its elders. Establishes strong personal relationships with his members. CFC or its elders. to be cared for adequately. to wit: 1. the joy of serving Him. He must serve in trust and confidence. 37 . His service should be an expression of love for the Lord. ability to provide adequate directions to members regarding SFC commitments 5. he must come to serve rather than be served. D. Just like the Lord Jesus. He should be humble in service and put the interest of his members first. able to accept correction and direction c. how strained one’s relationships with his family and friends are at the moment. He has the responsibility to look after their spiritual welfare. Attitudes of a Household Head In order to properly function in a way that would truly be helpful to the members of the household. but he would normally encounter certain pastoral challenges which he cannot avoid or should not avoid. 2. then the Lord will equip him with the wisdom and guidance necessary to be an effective instrument of His will. has a good reputation 4. the household head needs to have some basic attitudes. 4. E.e. He must have the mind and heart of a servant. He must look upon the singles under him as being given by the Lord. good listening and communication skills c. but family. How he conducts himself will provide a living example to those who have been put in his care. Some Areas of Challenge The household head is not expected to exercise pastoral headship over his group. the household head needs to have the joy of the Lord. He needs to realize that since the Lord has called him to do His work. No matter what one’s difficulties are. He must serve with gladness and joy. a charge coming directly from the Lord. how badly the day went. A member of SFC for at least one year. They are not just good friends. The household head must love them as brothers or sisters. Skills a. 5. the joy that transcends all earthly difficulties. Personal Characteristics a. emotionally stable b. CCWR and HLT 3. 3. He should be obedient to the Lord and to those whom the Lord has put in charge of his service. ability to handle a group discussion b. has taken the CO. but for which he should prudently seek help from the elders. financial borrowing without proper consultation and clearance. penance. Moral and theological questions. Pray over members when appropriate (birthdays. which includes the household. for inner healing. b. Pray for each member regularly during his own personal prayer time. Unfaithfulness of members to meetings. the household head is the big brother while the Unit Head is the father. 4. Some examples of issues that need to be referred to the Unit Head are: 1. when sick.The household head should refer all serious pastoral concerns to his Unit Head. Know each member well. Of course. Issues which pastorally affect the unit or across units. 3. 5. 2.) 38 . a. Slander or gossip which erodes relationships within the household/unit or across units. etc. places of meetings topics for discussion/sharing drawing out a withdrawn member regulating an over-sharing member how to stop gossip in the meeting bringing the discussion to the agenda and keeping it on course 2. 6. f. c. d. extortion. Practical Considerations Some of the concrete things the household head can and should do are: 1. such as taxes. b. Be prayerful. Spend time praying before the household meeting and entrusting it to the Lord. Serious relationship problems within the single’s family. the sacraments. who is the pastor of the members of the unit. the Unit Head can direct the household head to handle the situation himself.. requiring a decision to retain or drop a member from SFC. etc. 7. anniversaries. F. e. Proselytizing and ecumenical relationships. with some input from him.g. But ultimately it is the responsibility and concern of the Unit Head. e. c. 3. Handle the practical concerns for household meetings. Serious wrongdoing. Keep notes on each one. bribery vs. a. Putting it within the context of a family (which a household is). Be prepared and have an agenda. Rather. 5. Don't use the household meeting to ventilate your own personal problems. especially the books we publish. Don't just let it go. and household heads) and inform your Unit/Chapter Head about them. its members have to foster some basic attitudes. nor seek help for such problems from the household members under you. time of meeting. b. Refer all frequent absentees to your Unit Head.4. be sensitive to personal problems. speakers. It can help members experience unity in the body. 5. 39 . 3. We want to identify them early. THE HOUSEHOLD MEMBERS A. rely on the Lord. but also do your part. 6. one should share about his personal life and relationship with the Lord in a spirit of openness. 6. Remember that SFC can only grow in number to the extent that our leadership resources allow. Focus on spiritual growth and God's power rather than on problems. If for any reason you feel you cannot do the job as household head adequately. Always be on the lookout for potential leaders (CLP discussion leaders. III. Openness – One has to be open to what the Lord wants to give through the household group. Remember: the strength of the body will depend on its members' faithfulness and commitment. Keep ahead of your members. and should therefore be expectant and desirous of what is in store for him. Get the group to make agreements and account to one another regarding: a. 7. c. with the result that your household members suffer. chart their development and at the opportune time let them serve. This is normally given out through the Unit Heads and the household head should ensure that each and every member gets it every time. Attitudes of Household Members In order to reap the full benefits to be offered by participation in a household group. Together you can discuss the particular situation and decide on a course of action. Look upon our newsletter as a pastoral tool. 2. 4. However. Attendance at the household meetings is part of a member's commitment and is a must. It can help members grow through teachings. such as: 1. especially in view of our growing numbers. Always work on the faithfulness of members. Concretely. punctuality right way of speaking about others negative humor others 1. One should realize that this is part of God's work and in conformity with His plan for each person. Study and read. In other words. d. discuss this with your Unit Head so that appropriate action can be taken. bring these to your Unit Head and to the unit household of which you are a member. What is important is that one should accord top priority to these meetings and really desire not to be absent from them. Of course. 2. One has to look on the other members of the group as not just so many new friends. Note: The household leaders may share concerns to their service head/Unit Head. And this can be done only in an atmosphere of confidentiality. 3. Frequency 40 . is to foster active concern and commitment to one another. Household heads should follow up on absent members and try to renew their interest and commitment.2. after all. Confidentiality – Household members are encouraged to share of their personal lives. The prohibition on sharing with outsiders excludes the positive factors in one's life. The household head has no authority to grant leaves of absence to his household members. This is not a breach of confidentiality. such absences form sufficient ground for one's separation from SFC. certain obstacles will come up. This is done by active participation in worship. These in effect can be shared by the members outside the household meeting whenever there is an appropriate opportunity so that others can also be built up and encouraged. 3. 4. Whatever is shared in the meetings should not be shared outside with anyone else. It is important that each member supports the good order of the weekly meeting and relates to everyone in the group with honor and respect. and in fellowship. If unsuccessful. in sharing and discussion. IV. Faithfulness – One has to make the twice a month household meeting a priority in his life and be regular in attendance. Think not only of what you can get out of the meeting but of what you can impart to the brothers and sisters. among whom mutual love is the common denominator. but as brothers and sisters in the Lord. including their concerns and difficulties. in the meetings. B. b. a. Since attendance is part of one's commitment and since the very purpose of household groups would be defeated by frequent absences (indicating a lack of interest). Love – The idea. Each member is expected to attend the twice a month meetings faithfully. Attendance 1. 5. such as sickness. especially to the household head. THE HOUSEHOLD MEETINGS A. Only with continuity and one's personal commitment can the purpose of household groups be achieved. and indeed this is part of one's commitment to the covenant of SFC. Participation – Each member has to come to the meetings prepared both spiritually and practically. and have the attitude of wanting to make a contribution to the life of the meeting. the matter should be referred to the Unit Head for appropriate action. who are extensions of their service and care for household members. Any such requests should be referred to the Unit Head. he should not cancel the meeting. And God's blessings will surely descend upon the home where God's people can be found. b. maybe our parents. in addition to its weekly service in the CLP. When a whole household serves in a CLP. the household will need to meet only two weeks out of four in a month. The meeting place is rotated among the homes of each member. especially to our residential household. family. If the household head cannot be present at a scheduled household meeting (of course for a valid reason). If the CLP is on the same day as the monthly chapter prayer meeting. personal needs or Christian service. c. they will agree on a replacement. Households meet twice a month for household (the other two is dedicated for assemblies and teachings). worshipping Him together and growing in their faith together. Having the household meeting in the homes of the household members has the following values: 1. 4. Exceptions to the weekly household meetings are the following: a. on the same day of the week as mutually agreed on by the members. During special times such as Holy Week and Christmas break. 41 . More than once a week may take time that is more properly allocated to work. 2. 3. or as approved by the Unit Head due to a serious reason. 2. the household meets once in a regular household meeting and attends the prayer meeting. except as provided for below.1. Less than once a week would not provide enough contact to have adequate support and encouragement in the Christian life. Together. If the CLP is not on the same day as the monthly chapter prayer meeting. which is the CLP. In this case. the household meets twice in a regular household meeting. Rather. and not just meet for service. The household head cannot skip or cancel any meeting. 3. either one of the men from the household or another brother from the unit. The people in our home – our brothers and sisters. Continuing to meet is essential so that the members continue receiving personal life support. he must refer the matter to the Unit Head. B. our household help. the people who are closest to us and whom we love – will be aware of what we are involved in and what we do every week. Venue The household meeting is to be held in the home of one of the members of the group. Worshipping the Lord in our homes makes the truth that the home is a small church a concrete reality. To them we will become people who are living their Christian faith openly and powerfully. to our neighbors and to other relatives and friends. During the week when the monthly prayer meeting is held. What we do in our homes can be an effective tool for evangelism. of course. b. 2. d. followed by a short period of silence bring forward words from the Lord (prophecy. thanksgiving. single men and women may meet together. teaching or discussion in a joint household meeting. Ideally. for the purpose of training. However. As a general rule. then more praising sing a worship song singing in tongues. then it would be advisable to make use of our song tapes. he should not delegate his responsibility to the other men. (2) a time of sharing or teaching or discussion. inspired Scripture reading and exhortation. and with the permission of the Unit Head and Chapter Head. Worship. on what is to be taken up at the discretion of the household heads. exhortations) -individual prayers of thanksgiving individual prayers of petition and intercession closing prayer by the leader c. f. Ingredients of a Household Meeting A typical household meeting would involve three indispensable ingredients: (1) worship and prayer. Members should be exhorted by the head to participate actively in the singing. A piano or other musical instrument would be alternatives. 1. praising and prayers of thanksgiving and petition. They should also be encouraged to exercise the spiritual gifts of prophecy. and (3) some time for fellowship. someone in the group should play the guitar. e. prayers of petition and intercession. Every member should become familiar and comfortable with our way of worship and praise. The worship portion should include all the necessary ingredients: singing. For the time of sharing. Exceptions would be pregnant women and sick or weak members. inspired Scripture verses. But most if not all the time. where songs have been arranged in groups of three precisely for use in household worship. The household head leads in the worship. praising. if available and practicable. If no one can play. All three are very important and none should be skipped or simply glossed over. This arrangement depends. every once in a while (not too often). he may ask another brother to lead.C. and the household head shows the way. The worship is done standing up for the whole duration. A typical format for the time of worship could be as follows: come before the Lord (may be a short period of silence and/or a short exhortation from the leader) sing a lively song of praise simultaneous vocal praising sing another song. he leads. a. 42 . is the time for socializing. the household meeting is held after dinner on a weekday. especially of their difficulties. nor should any host ever be pressured in "keeping up" with a fellow member's extravagance. The meeting should not end too late. If the meeting can start earlier. Duration 1. The whole meeting would typically run for about 2 1/2 hours. 2. the household head should start the worship even if only he and the host are around. Practically speaking.However. when members of the opposite gender are not around. c.m. As much as possible. c. Furthermore. this should be the exception rather than the rule. Ordinarily. D. Here it must be kept in mind that the food is incidental to the fellowship. He should not make the meeting and everyone else a captive of someone else's lack of commitment to punctuality. However. 3. The last part. no member should be burdened by the snack's cost or needed time for preparation. The evening ends with a short closing prayer by the head. The host of household meeting usually prepares a very simple snack. 4. 3.. rather than the fellowship being centered on the food. there is some flexibility and there could be variations on the above time frames. household meetings should start at the agreed time. even if not everyone has arrived. Members are more free to share. It's an opportunity for the men to be supported by the brothers as Christian men and the women by the sisters as Christian women.m. b. If the meeting goes beyond 11 p. other mutually acceptable times are possible. not later than 11 p. there would not be enough time (at least quality time) for everyone to share in a joint meeting. So if necessary. The household head should not wait for everyone. b. Some advantages of this arrangement are as follows: a. as follows: Worship – 30 minutes Sharing/teaching/discussion – 60-90 minutes Fellowship – 30-60 minutes Of course. SFC households should have separate meetings for the male households and the women households. this may be the only way to get chronic latecomers to mend their ways. so much the better. The host says the grace before the meal. most of the time. Absolutely no alcoholic beverages are to be served for this part of the household meeting. E. Besides. fellowship. Social Night 43 . say. a. as more and more we open up our lives to them and they become an intimate part of our lives. Of course. discussion or sharing. 2.1. or have a Lord's Day celebration together. B. Some possibilities: meet during the prayer meeting week. the household meetings are used to follow up on the topics in the teaching program. or go out somewhere together (at a party or disco. with no formal worship. TOPICS FOR MEETINGS A. and the idea is just to enjoy each other's company socially and become intimate friends as well as brothers and sisters in the Lord. year in and year out. on the month where there is a 5th week. This cycle could go on and on. it can either be done by just encouraging the members to share as they are led. etc. If the household head opts for personal sharing. In the second year and beyond. Personal Sharing Personal sharing is telling our brothers and sisters about what has been happening in our lives for the past month. or even decide to have a whole-day outing. the topics for the household meetings would normally follow the following cycle: 1st week 2nd week 3rd week 4th week ----- (Chapterl Prayer Meeting) Personal sharing Bible sharing Discussion of a Christian topic The above cycle provides enough variety so as to make household meetings always interesting and life giving. It is recommended that a social night be held once a quarter. There is a lot of flexibility. at a home or outside. Various activities are possible.). For the first year (for new members right after the CLP). Members may have dinner together. Thus the first year would look like this: 3 months 3 months 1 day 3 months 1 weekend 3 months – – – – – – CLP Follow up Covenant Orientation Follow up SWR I Follow up Manuals are provided for each of the two "Follow up" phases. V. If the members want to have a social night more often. the household head is free to deviate from this cycle as he sees fit. Personal sharing is an essential element in building up our relationship with our brothers and sisters. 3. then it should be done outside the time allocated for regular household meetings. with a particular focus on what the Lord has been doing in our lives. C. 1. or by using a set of questions 44 . The household may decide to have a social night on occasion. A social night is a time devoted to fellowship. go bowling. which can guide the members in their sharing. e. As a framework to provide shape and direction. For example. word or action? e. In what ways were you aware of the Lord's presence or action in your life during the past week/month? c. g. Have you conducted yourself righteously in thought. Topical discussion This is a time for formal discussion of a Christian topic. Various methods of Bible sharing could be utilized. One can develop and use one's own questions. questions can be an effective means to lively personal interaction. which would be profitable for our members to gain greater understanding. Bible sharing is not Bible study as such. daily reading of the Bible c. We however recommend the "7 step" method of Bible sharing. 1. E. Sample questions are as follows: a. Especially recommended are those topics that have to do with the life. These topics could be anything that has to do with the Christian life. mission. In what ways has the Lord used you to serve others this past week/month? f. just so long as they suit the needs of the members and can effectively draw out people. How have you grown in your relationship with the Lord? Have you come before the Lord faithfully in personal prayer? b. avoidance of wrongdoing good order in private life participation in Church life living as a good Christian in our family Christian manly and womanly character Christian courtship Christian service 45 . living fully the Christian life d. as we share about it every month. 2. What change has the Lord been asking you in order that you might grow in loving your brothers and sisters? D. What has the Lord been teaching you in your prayer time or Scripture study this week/month? How have you responded? d. f. but a way of drawing insights from the Bible and allowing God to speak to us personally through His written Word. Bible sharing Bible sharing is a way for us to be more familiar with the Word of God. covenant and culture of SFC. personal daily prayer time b. such topics are: a. Topics contained in the various books that we publish. the household head merely chooses the particular verses to be taken up. The important thing is that the conduct of the meeting contributes to the achievement of the stated purpose of our having households and that is to build an environment of support for the Christian life of our members. For personal sharing. to help him perform his duties more effectively.h. Thus he simply moderates the discussion. As such. 2. c. This cycle is something the household head is free to follow or not. the household head chooses the topic. sharings or teachings may provide the impetus for a household meeting topic. The Unit Head has the authority coming from the CFC Council to back him up. The Unit Head is the pastor of the unit to which households belong. j. G. If for example he takes up the "Growing in the Lord" article in the Ugnayan. B. The household head should not look 46 . As such. even the discussion starters are already provided. The household head has a good amount of flexibility as to how to handle the household meeting and what to take up. to wit: a. VI. For the Bible sharing. For the topical discussion. but can focus more on "spiritual" preparation. d. the Ugnayan. the household head would simply moderate the sharing and keep the interaction active and life giving. k. certain publications. Teachings or exhortations given at the monthly prayer meeting. It should be noticed that this cycle of topics for the second year and beyond is such that there is no burden on the household head to be always thinking up of what to take up during the household meetings. Teachings contained in our newsletter. i. the household head needs to look to him with respect and in obedience with regard to his service. 3. 1. taking from the vast array of materials available to him. e. The household head needs to look upon his Unit Head as someone there for him. he has overall responsibility for the service of household heads in his unit. Furthermore. F. Taped talks or teachings by renowned personages. Articles of interest in "God's Word Today" or other similar prayer or Scripture guides. RELATIONSHIP WITH THE UNIT HEAD A. Thus the household leaders are not burdened by "technical" preparation for the meetings. C. Christian fellowship priority setting/weekly schedule TV and media spiritual gifts 2. b. overall to SFC? e. 6. Individual members. a. to the Unit Head. c. Receiving pastoral guidance and direction in handling of the singles. 3. The household head needs to keep the Unit Head informed and updated regarding his members. He is not expected to exercise pastoral leadership over the group. Administrative matters. meets with the Unit Head once a month for a service meeting. How are they growing in Christ? Daily prayer? Relationship with parents? With brothers? With boyfriend or girlfriend? Relationship with authority? To the household head. 5. b. 4. as pastor. b. e. Identification of and discussion of training exposure for potential leaders. but he would normally encounter certain pastoral challenges which he should refer to his Unit Head. Household a. 3. Time and service. d. Are the men or women relating to one another well? Are they free to share with one another? Do they worship freely together? Do they ever do anything together outside of the household meeting? How is their general attitude towards SFC? 2. still responsible for everyone. D. 47 . prayer meetings and other activities) and in financial giving. since the Unit Head does not have regular direct contact with them but is. 2. Discussion and resolution of problems or issues brought up. either singly or together with other household heads of the unit. Report on faithfulness in attendance (at household meetings. Problems if any. The meeting shall dwell on any or all of the following: 1. Thus occasional feedback and the regular monthly service meeting are essential. d. Following are some areas of pastoral concern for the Unit Head: 1. c. F. The household head focuses on facilitating discussion and developing brotherhood and sisterhood in the household group. The household head. Reporting in general on how the members of the household are doing. E. The household head is to be fully open to his Unit Head and be eager to have his input on any matter involving his service.upon his household as his own turf that is not to be invaded by his Unit Head. Do they have enough time for themselves. Are they growing in confidence? Do they need more help? VII. Some such activities are: 1. within the context of SFC. These other activities may be in lieu of the normal household activity (with approval of the Unit Head) or in addition to it. outings. 48 . Socials (sports. Other activities are welcome so long as they make a positive contribution to the support and strengthening of the Christian life of single men and women. It is up to the household head to discern the needs of his members individually and as a group. One-to-one 4. etc. How are they experiencing their service? c. Aside from what has been taken up as proper to the activities of a household group.) 6. Lord's Day celebration B. family.a. picnics. Intercessory prayers 3. there are many other things that can be done as well. Video sessions 5. and to act accordingly. GROUP ACTIVITIES A. Healing sessions/praying over 2. job and service? b.