ميحرلا نمحرلا ا مسب1 | P a g e Parents – Rights & Responsibilities ي ِ رْ د َ ص ي ِ ل ْ ح َ ر ْ شا ِ ب َ ر ي ِ رْ م َ أ ي ِ ل ْ رِ س َ ي َ و ; ي ِ ل ْ وَق اوُهَق ْ ف َ ي ; ي ِ نا َ س ِ ل ْ ن ِ م ً ةَ د ْ قُ ع ْ ل ُ ل ْ حا َ و ; The first place among the blood relatives is reserved for parents. No one among the relatives equals them in the status given to them by Allah. Our discussion here shall focus upon what the status of parents is in Islam. We shall divide our discussion into two major parts: Rights of Parents & Responsibilities of Parents. A. RIGHTS OF PARENTS ميحرلا نمحرلا ا مسب 2 | P a g e A.1. Respect & Obedience ُهُ د َ ح َ أ َ ر َ ب ِ ك ْ لا َ كَ د ْ ن ِ ع َ نَ غ ُ لْ ب َ ي ا َ م ِ إ ً انا َ سْ ح ِ إ ِ نْ يَ د ِ لا َ و ْ لا ِ ب َ و ُ هاَي ِ إ َ ل ِ إ اوُ دُب ْ عَت َ ل َ أ َ كُب َ ر ى َ ضَق َ و ُه َ ل ْ ل ُ ق َ و ا َ مُهْ ر َ ه ْ نَت ل َ و ٍ ُ أ ا َ مُه َ ل ْ ل ُ قَت اََ ا َ مُها ِ ِ ْ و َ أ ا َ م ً لْ وَق ا َ م ً امي ِ رَ ِ “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him; and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them, but address them in terms of honour.” (Aayah No. 23, Surah Al-Isra’, Chapter No. 17, Holy Qur’an). It is such a great honour for parents that Allah puts it as a duty of mankind to be obedient and dutiful to his/her parents. And we see that the ruling is placed just after the ruling regarding worshipping Allah alone. This itself signifies the elevated status of parents in Islam. We have to be dutiful to our parents; obey them and respect them. It is not even allowed to say ‘Uff’, the mildest word of disrespect, to the parents if they reach old age. ميحرلا نمحرلا ا مسب 3 | P a g e A.2. Supplication for parents ً اري ِ غ َ ص ي ِ نا َ يَب َ ر ا َ مَ ِ ا َ مُهْ م َ حْ را ِ بَ ر ْ ل ُ ق َ و ِ ة َ م ْ حَ رلا ْ ن ِ م ِ ل ُ ذلا َ حاَن َ ج ا َ مُه َ ل ْ ض ِ ف ْ خا َ و “And lower unto them the wing of submission & humility through mercy and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.” (Aayah No. 24, Surah Al-Isra’, Chapter No. 17, Holy Qur’an). This is a very important supplication that every Muslim is supposed to make for his/her parents. This emphasizes the fact that parents go through several phases of hardships in upbringing of their children. A child can not repay the favours done by the parents to him, whatsoever he/she may do for them. However, every child should pray to Allah for well being of his/her parents in this world as well as the Hereafter. Refer to following hadith: It was narrated from Abu Hurairah (RA) that Rasool-Allah (PBUH) said, “When a man (or a woman) dies, all his/her good deeds come to an end, except three: a) Ongoing charity done by the deceased (Sadaqa-e- ميحرلا نمحرلا ا مسب 4 | P a g e J aariya)…b) Beneficial knowledge of the deceased that will keep on helping the others.…..and third….c) Righteous son/daughter who will pray for him/her (the deceased).” (Hadith No. 4223 (1631), Book of Wills, Sahih Muslim, Vol. 4). This narration tells us that the supplications (and righteousness) of a child benefits the parents even after their death. A.3. Mother’s status is three times more than the father’s. ي ِ َ ُه ُ لا َ ص ِ َ َ و ٍ نْ ه َ و ى َ ل َ ع ً انْ ه َ و ُه ُ م ُ أ ُه ْ ت َ ل َ م َ ح ِ هْ يَ د ِ لا َ و ِ ب َ نا َ سن ِ لا اَنْ ي َ ص َ و َ و ُ ري ِ ص َ م ْ لا َ ي َ ل ِ إ َ كْ يَ د ِ لا َ و ِ ل َ و ي ِ ل ْ ر ُ ك ْ شا ْ ن َ أ ِ نْ ي َ ما َ ع “And we have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years – give thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination.” (Aayah No. 14, Surah Luqman, Chapter No. 31, Holy Qur’an). ميحرلا نمحرلا ا مسب 5 | P a g e This is a ruling about both parents, but mother has a special status for Muslims, as is evident from special mention of mother in the verse itself. However, following hadith shall tell us how high the status of a mother in Islam is. It was narrated that Abu Hurairah (RA) said: A man came to Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) and asked, “Which of the people is most deserving of my best companionship?” He said, “Your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your mother.” He said, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.” (Hadith No. 5971, Book of Al-Adab, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8; Hadith No. 6500 (2548), Book of Al-Birr, Sahih Muslim, Vol. 6). Therefore, the status of mother is three times more than father. A.4. Being good to parents leads to Paradise A Muslim may achieve the ultimate goal of entering the Paradise by virtue of him/her being good to his/her parents. In this context, Allah says: ميحرلا نمحرلا ا مسب 6 | P a g e ُ ثا َ ث ُه ُ لا َ ص ِ َ َ و ُه ُ ل ْ م َ ح َ و ً اهْ ر ُ ِ ُه ْ ت َ ع َ ض َ و َ و ً اهْ ر ُ ِ ُه ُ م ُ أ ُه ْ ت َ ل َ م َ ح ً انا َ سْ ح ِ إ ِ هْ يَ د ِ لا َ و ِ ب َ نا َ سن ِ لا اَنْ ي َ ص َ و َ و ُ هَ د ُ ش َ أ َ َ َ ل َ ب ا َ َ ِ إ ى َ ت َ ح ً ارْ هَ ش َ نو َ لاَق ً ةَن َ س َ ني ِ ع َ ب ْ ر َ أ َ َ َ ل َ ب َ و َ ل َ ع َ و َ ي َ ل َ ع َ تْ م َ ع ْ ن َ أ ي ِ ت َ لا َ كَت َ مْ ع ِ ن َ ر ُ ك ْ ش َ أ ْ ن َ أ ي ِ ن ْ ع ِ زْ و َ أ ِ ب َ ر َ لاَق َ كَت َ مْ ع ِ ن َ ر ُ ك ْ ش َ أ ْ ن َ أ ي ِ ن ْ ع ِ زْ و َ أ ِ ب َ ر ي ِ َ ي ِ ل ْ ح ِ ل ْ ص َ أ َ و ُ ها َ ضْ رَت ً اح ِ لا َ ص َ ل َ مْ ع َ أ ْ ن َ أ َ و َ يَ د ِ لا َ و ى ِ إ ُ تْ ب ُ ت ي ِ ن ِ إ ي ِ تَي ِ ر ُ َ َ ني ِ م ِ ل ْ س ُ م ْ لا ْ ن ِ م ي ِ ن ِ إ َ و َ كْ ي َ ل “And we have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship. And she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my offspring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims.” ْ ع َ و ِ ة َ ن َ ج ْ لا ِ با َ حْ ص َ أ ي ِ َ ْ م ِ ه ِ تاَئِي َ س ْ نَ ع ُ ز َ واجَتَن َ و او ُ ل ِ مَ ع ا َ م َ ن َ سْ ح َ أ ْ مُه ْ نَ ع ُ لَبَقَتَن َ ني ِ ذ َ لا َ ك ِ ئ َ ل ْ و ُ أ او ُ ناَ ِ ي ِ ذ َ لا ِ ِْ دِ صلا َ د َ نوُ دَ عوُي “They are those from whom We shall accept the best of their deeds and overlook their evil deeds. (They shall be) among the dwellers of Paradise – a promise of truth, which they have been promised.” (Aayah No’s 15 & 16, Surah Al-Ahqaf, Chapter No. 46, Holy Qur’an). ميحرلا نمحرلا ا مسب 7 | P a g e These glorious verses tell us that people who are good to their parents and pray to Allah thanking Him for His Favours to them, Allah shall overlook their evil deeds, forgive them of that and grant them the entry to Paradise, the ultimate destination. May Allah guide us to be likes of those… Ameen. There are many ahadith also which tell us that a man may achieve a place in Paradise by virtue of him/her being good to the parents. Please go through following narration: It was narrated from Mu’awiyah bin Jahimah As-Sulami, that Jahimah came to the Prophet (PBUH) and said, “O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come to ask your advice.” He said, “Do you have a mother?” He said, “Yes.” He said, “Then stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.” (Hadith No. 3106, Book of Jihad, Sunan An-Nasa’i, Vol. 4). This explains that serving the parents is a very important duty of every Muslim. When it is said that ‘Paradise is beneath the feet of mother‘, it actually means that a person may achieve a place in paradise by serving his/her parents, by being kind to them, by obeying them. Greatness of mother is also highlighted yet again in this narration. ميحرلا نمحرلا ا مسب 8 | P a g e A.5. Not being good to parents leads to Hell In continuation to the two verses mentioned above, in next two verses of same Chapter, Allah then tells us about those who are not dutiful to their parents, negligent towards their parents and not good to them. ْ خ ُ أ ْ ن َ أ ي ِ ن ِ ناَ د ِ عَت َ أ ا َ م ُ ك َ ل ٍ ُ أ ِ هْ يَ د ِ لا َ و ِ ل َ لاَق ي ِ ذ َ لا َ و ُ لو ُ ق َ يََ ٌ ق َ ح ِ َ ا َ دْ ع َ و َ ن ِ إ ْ ن ِ مآ َ ك َ لْ ي َ و َ َ ا ِ نا َ ثي ِ غَت ْ س َ ي ا َ مُه َ و ي ِ لْ بَق ْ ن ِ م ُ نوُ ر ُ ق ْ لا ْ ت َ ل َ خ ْ دَق َ و َ ج َ ر َ ل ِ إ ا َ ذَه ا َ م َ ني ِ ل َ و َ لا ُ ري ِ طا َ س َ أ “But he who says to his parents: ‘Fie upon you both! Do you hold out the promise to me that I shall be raised up when generations before me have passed away?’ While they invoke Allah for help: ‘Woe to you! Believe! Verily, the Promise of Allah is true.’ But he says: ‘This is nothing but the tales of the ancient.” َ ع َ ق َ ح َ ني ِ ذ َ لا َ ك ِ ئ َ ل ْ و ُ أ َ ني ِ ر ِ سا َ خ او ُ ناَ ِ ْ مُه َ ن ِ إ ِ سن ِ لا َ و ِ ن ِ ج ْ لا ْ ن ِ م ْ م ِ ه ِ لْ بَق ْ ن ِ م ْ ت َ ل َ خ ْ دَق ٍ م َ م ُ أ ي ِ َ ُ لْ وَق ْ لا ْ م ِ هْ ي َ ل “They are those against whom the Word (of torment) is justified among the previous generations of jinn and mankind that have passed away. Verily, they are ever the losers.” (Aayah No’s 17 & 18, Surah Al-Ahqaf, Chapter No. 46, Holy Qur’an). ميحرلا نمحرلا ا مسب 9 | P a g e Such people have been termed as losers and Allah says that the torment is justified on people like these. In this context, let me mention one important hadith highlighting the severity of being not good to the parents. Please remember that disobeying the parents, not being good to them and not respecting them is one of the major sins in Islam. Following hadith explains this: Abdur Rahman bin Abi Bakrah narrated from his father, who said: Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said (thrice), “Shall I not tell you of the biggest of the major sins?” They said, “Of course, O Messenger of Allah!.” He said, “To join partners with Allah and disobeying one’s parents.” He said: He sat up, and he was reclining. He said, “And false testimony, or false speech.” And Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) would not stop saying it until we said (to ourselves): I wish that he would stop. (Hadith No. 1901, Chapters on Righteousness, Jami’ At-Tirmidhi, Vol. 4; Hadith No. 5976, Book of Al-Adab, Sahih Bukhari, Vol. 8).