Push Challenge/ Challenging Breaking RapportPushPull Challenging by forcing the bond Forceframing Rapport PullPush Bonding through challenges Expecting Rapport Pull Bond/ Bonding Building Rapport The Ways of the Gentleman Chapter 4 MNX Network v03.10
[email protected] mnxnetwork.com/store mnxnetwork.com/events MNX’s Love/Hate Pendulum and MNX’s Push/Pull Attraction Model Whats goin down gentlemen?! Hope all is well, it’s been a wild ride lately, beachlife is too much fun;-) Here’s the 4th Chapter of MNX’s “The Ways of the Gentleman” that builds upon the foundation you have built thus far and incorporates what you have already learned into an attraction strategy. Please refer to the other lessons and your notes in regards to definition inquiries however I have included (redundantly;-) a few MNX definitions as they tend to be quite different than that of the community;-) Here is the comprehensive breakdown of how attraction works and how to incorporate MNX’s Push/Pull Attraction Model into one’s interactions *RIGHT NOW*. All romantic interactions are subject to this attraction model (**SEE ENDNOTE**) and will add to one’s game even if one uses an alternate attraction strategy. Original (Old) Push/Pull Theory Push/Pull Theory was originally defined as similar to a Ying/Yang of energy: one side of interactive energy is “Push” which flows into “Pull” and vice versa. Some examples of Push would be when one challenges, false disqualifies, or negs a woman and a few examples of Pull is when one rewards a woman through compliments, body language, or kino. Unfortunately this theory was quite vague. Questions of *when* one should Push and *when* one should Pull would arise. The generic response: Figure out each girl’s unique “Push/Pull ratio”. A couple of examples: Some girls need to be Pushed more to every Pull because they WANT a challenge (for example: some girls need to be teased more than other girls in order for them to become attracted) and some girls hate being Pushed as it brings up insecurities (for example: a girl who doesn’t feel she is good enough for you). The biggest problem with this broad generalization of attraction is that it can be hard to figure out each girl’s unique “Push/Pull ratio”. MNX’s Love/Hate Pendulum IME/IMO, all social interactions (with the opposite sex;-) fall within a “Love/Hate Pendulum”. On one side of the pendulum is “Hate” and on the opposite side is “Love”. When the pendulum is in the middle it represents “indifference”. The reason the Love/Hate dynamic is better represented by a pendulum than a Ying/Yang is because IME, the more I challenged a woman, the more apt she was to have strong feelings (of negativity, hate, or anger) towards me. At the same time however, these same frustrated, annoyed, pissed off women would become super attracted to me, somehow, someway. A majority of the hottest girls I had ever dated (ahem;-) have told me that they HATED ME when they first met me. Was this coincidence? Not a chance;-) It was part of my strategy to first get a woman EMOTIONAL, in order to instill various feelings (one being that of attraction) within her. Unfortunately, the only way *some* of these beautiful girls would even be fazed (read: NOT FEEL INDIFFERENT OR HAVE A “WHATEVER” ATTITUDE TOWARDS ME) was when I pissed them off… literally. Here’s why: 2 mnxnetwork.com/store For one to react strongly towards something one must first be INVESTED. EMOTIONALLY INVESTED. When one puts one’s own feelings (one’s “heart and soul”) into a project, person, program, team, idea, movement, etc. ONE IS INVESTING ONE’S OWN SELF. SIDENOTE 3A >>> So, armed with this knowledge, I would PURPOSELY NOT BE AFRAID TO PISS GIRLS OFF. IOW, I was not afraid to DISAGREE, IGNORE, DISMISS, or CHALLENGE women. Moreover, I actually ENJOYED exercising these different forms of Pushing, to display my personality as well as my independence (read: non-neediness). At one end of the Push/Pull spectrum, while others were SUPPLICATING by agreeing with everything a girl said (read: trying too hard to bond), I was actually displaying attractive qualities by being “my own man” (IOW, being myself;-) and having my own opinions. By disagreeing or teasing girls, I was Challenging the girls’ reference of reality (read: their frames). It was the tactful ability to bring the girls from the Hate side (Push) of the Pendulum *BACK* to the Love side (Pull) that created an emotional rollercoaster that led to Attraction. Like other guys who were too aggressive, I learned a valuable lesson through trial and error: I would come off as TRYHARD if I CHALLENGED TOO MUCH or CHALLENGED AT THE WRONG TIME. NOTE: PUSH = to CHALLENGE one’s frame (CHALLENGING one’s reference of reality) CHALLENGING one’s reference of reality = Breaking Rapport Thus, Push = to Break Rapport SIDENOTE 3B >>> SIDENOTE 3A: That’s why when you don’t care about that project for school or work and it turns out to be crappy, you DON’T CARE BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T TRY... YOU DIDN’T PUT YOURSELF INTO THE PROJECT... you didn’t INVEST. On the flip side, especially early in the progression of the community, one may put a lot of time and effort into learning how to do well with women so when one has a bad night, it can really hurt. It hurts because YOU INVESTED YOURSELF INTO THE EFFORT and didn’t get the results you were TRYING TO GET. You had become EMOTIONALLY INVESTED. And because you now *CARE*, UNFAVORABLE END RESULTS WILL AFFECT YOU MORE (than if you didn’t care). SIDENOTE 3B: TOO MUCH PUSH = TRYHARD Challenging too much or Breaking Rapport at the wrong time comes off as INSECURE; Trying Too Hard (to prove one is of high(er) value and/or to prove that someone is of lower value in relation to the rapport breaker). mnxnetwork.com/events 3 SIDENOTE 4A: TOO MUCH PULL = SUPPLICATING Trying TOO HARD to Build Rapport (showing one’s acceptance for another, searching for commonalities, etc) comes off as Telegraphing Too Much Interest; Desperate, Supplicating (trying too hard to impress/bond) NOTE: PULL = to BOND (to ACCEPT another’s value, to SHARE one’s *own* self/worth/ value, i.e. give value) Accepting another’s value and giving value = Building Rapport Thus, PULL = to BUILD RAPPORT <<< SIDENOTE 4A SIDENOTE 4B: “STATE” is externally validated confidence. It’s when things go well and one goes on a roll or is “on fire”... But what is that really? EXTERNAL POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT, IOW SITUATIONAL CONFIDENCE. Now one can better understand why I disdain the emphasis students put on “being in State” and why I stress becoming internally validated. Some women, (as Mystery noted;-) are CONSTANTLY HAVING THEIR REFERENCE OF REALITY REINFORCED: guys buy them drinks, they don’t wait in lines at clubs, pay no cover, get constant attention, get invited to social (and private;-) functions, and complimented… A lot. With all this POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT of a girl’s reference of reality (i.e. her Frame = she is VALUABLE, DESIRABLE, and WANTED), the confidence level of a woman can be very high. The great/not so great thing about this however, is that her confidence/reality, is EXTERNALLY SUPPORTED. Her reference of reality (including her confidence and influence) is based off her SITUATIONAL VALUE. NOTE: SITUATIONAL VALUE = External Validation, Externally Validated Value/Confidence (at the moment/at the venue) <<< SIDENOTE 4B This is how Mystery was able to use Negging as a way to lower the woman’s SITUATIONAL VALUE and essentially, display his RELATIVE VALUE; his HV ACQTs. NOTE: RELATIVE VALUE = Internal Validation, Internally Validated Confidence (in life/in general) HV ACQTs = High Value Attributes/Characteristics/Qualities/Traits (that women just so happen to desire;-) Negging = to take (read: lower one’s) value by (sub)communicating a nonacceptance of one’s value (read: to reject one’s value) SIDENOTE 4C: When a woman tries to blow you out, she is Negging you. She is rejecting your value, where value means: your game (or lack thereof;-), she is not rejecting *you* personally. She is trying to Break Rapport with you (Challenge you to change her mind/prove your value/etc). She is on the Hate (Push) side of the Pendulum. 4 mnxnetwork.com/store <<< SIDENOTE 4C Some women are not used to being challenged and can act extremely difficult when someone has opposing thoughts, ideas, remarks, etc. HOWEVER, unbeknownst at the time, the reason these girls became so attracted was because of the LOVE/HATE Pendulum. IME, the more I upset the girl, the more she became emotional. EMOTIONALLY AFFECTED. The worst response one can get upon opening is one of INDIFFERENCE, IOW, she IGNORES you. If she IOIs you (read: gives you attention) she wants to Bond and if she tries to blow you out, at least she is Challenging you (to prove your value - not necessarily a bad thing… Because she is becoming EMOTIONALLY INVESTED!) The more she Pushes towards the Hate side of the pendulum, the more of a FREEFALL (read: emotional rush) it will be for her when the pendulum falls back to the Love side.. and vice versa. This phenomenon is why when one passes a woman’s test or challenge, she IMMEDIATELY becomes (more) attracted. There is a raise or “spike” in her “buying temperature” which simply means she is becoming MORE EMOTIONAL (i.e. MNX Tone Levels). SIDENOTE 5A: This is how a woman BACKWARDS RATIONALIZES that she is attracted to you when you pass her challenge. Although originally, CONSCIOUSLY, she *TRIED* to PUSH you away, you passed and now she has ACKNOWLEDGED/ ACCEPTED your value (for now;-) and therefore she is becoming CONSCIOUSLY attracted to you. Here is an example of how YOU can imagine the emotional rush she feels: Imagine you have a girlfriend and you love her. Since you love her, you would be somewhere on the Love side of the pendulum. You are EMOTIONALLY INVESTED in her. If one day she cheats on you, you will become upset and angry. The MORE in LOVE with her you are, the MORE you will be EMOTIONALLY INVESTED and AFFECTED. The pendulum will swing hard to the Hate side. You will HATE that she broke the bond the two of you had shared together. On the flip side, say now after all this you find out that she really DIDN’T cheat on you and it was all just a huge misunderstanding. Perhaps she even apologized and did everything she could to prove to you that she does loves you just as much, if not more, than you love her. Now this emotional rollercoaster (you have just created for yourself;-) will swing with huge momentum back to the Love side of the pendulum and you will be even MORE IN LOVE WITH YOUR GIRL. Logically, this is because your mind backwards rationalizes that your girlfriend overcame and passed a huge challenge and that now she is worthy of this deeper love. Emotionally, it’s because of the Love/Hate Pendulum: The more invested one is, the more affected one tends to become. SIDENOTE 5A >>> IOW, the more one cares about something, the more outcome dependent/results oriented one will be. Stated slightly differently: the more one become emotional, the more one wants their reference of reality to be REAL, IOW, *ACCEPTED* SIDENOTE 5B >>> SIDENOTE 5B: Being able to control one’s natural tendency to become emotional when one is invested is a HUGE SIDENOTE: HV ACQT! Sometimes one tries to INITIATE a desired response by doing a particular action or saying a particular thing, but women’s behavior is mixed as a result. This sticking point can be fixed first by being aware of one’s own fundamentals (making sure youre not leaning in, etc) and then secondly, if one’s fundamentals are down, then RANGING may be needed (i.e. trying the material/action/etc out during different stages of one’s interactions with women and then *TESTING* the desired end result by testing SEVERAL different women to find when/how/ why the best possible desired end result occurs.) MAKE MENTAL NOTES OF THESE PATTERNS AS WELL mnxnetwork.com/events 5 SIDENOTE SIDENOTE:6A: Once again the very Having the “stronger” frame presence of every girl and gamingone being the unfazed *IS* an attractive exact same sounds great in quality. but is not the theory.. This means one best could show high(er) value or even most efficient way. by not budging quality By displaying thisor adapting but tailoring one’s or like all HV ACQTs, game there is particular a to the a time and girl, one place ALWAYS BE PLAYING WILL for everything;-) A ‘NUMBERS’ GAME -> only the girls who ACCEPT one’s frame, will become attracted. The problem with this is that if no girl accepts one’s “strong” frame at a venue, then unfortunately, there will be one lonely strong framed individual at that venue. Adapt. Evolve. Reactiveness gets a bad rep by the community but being able to REACT/ADAPT one’s game to a woman is what advanced game is all about: Rising to the occasion.. anytime.. anyplace If one is emotionally unaffected by something, *NORMALLY* that is a sign of High(er) Value. This is how celebrities come off as “cool” while many fans become flustered in their presence. The fan is emotionally affected; the celebrity unfazed, above it all. Unfortunately, because the very act of being “indifferent” is considered to be the higher value or “power position”, some guys try to act “too cool for school, super GQ” towards women. Because they know that being indifferent can equal being cool, but don’t understand why or how, they tend to alienate friends and can come off as anti-social or stuck up in social interactions. Not Bonding (for example: not Vibing) when one *SHOULD* be Bonding, comes off as Breaking Rapport (i.e. being “indifferent” or nonresponsive to other’s emotions (of wanting to bond) *IS* Breaking Rapport/Pushing/Challenging). REMEMBER: Breaking Rapport AT THE WRONG TIME comes off as TRYHARD. Being “too cool for school” will only work on a woman if she either 1) is INVESTED in the guy and/or 2) believes the guy to have high(er) value in relation to her and/or 3) is unsure of his value in an initial encounter. In short, understanding and incorporating the dynamic of the Love/Hate Pendulum will serve one’s self far better than just trying to be “unreactive”. In actuality, BEING ABLE TO REACT to what is happening is the very definition of being human (the ability to adapt) and the essence of a seduction. <<< SIDENOTE 6A ADVANCED NOTE: Being able to creating this emotional momentum swing is the basis of Controlled Drama (CD) that is broken down in later chapters. Remember: It is important to get her Love/Hate Pendulum swinging. For her to become attracted, the worst thing she can be is indifferent to your advances. MNX’s Attraction Theory First, some basic MNX definitions that form the basic foundation for game: Frame = One’s reference of reality Framing = Projecting one’s reference of reality onto another, IOW projecting one’s frame onto another person (this frame may be accepted or unaccepted) Forceframing = Forcing one’s reference of reality onto another, IOW forcing one’s frame onto another person in such a way that there is nothing for that person to say “no” to (there is no way for this frame to be unaccepted which results in acceptance of the frame; one’s reference of reality is voluntarily or involuntarily accepted) Hoop = A question, command, or action with the expectation of the listener’s compliance (i.e. action or response) Compliance = A woman’s involvement/investment (physically/emotionally/ verbally/logistically/financially/etc) in an encounter/connection IOI = (Indicator of Interest) (getting or giving) Attention (to encourage an encounter, encourage continuing an encounter, and/or encourage escalation (emotionally, logistically, and/or physically) in an encounter) Attraction = Secured IOIs (continued/earned/specific/selective to a particular individual) 6 mnxnetwork.com/store Thus, ONGOING ATTENTION = ATTRACTION Attraction can happen both Subconsciously and Consciously: SUBCONSCIOUS ATTRACTION can be created by ongoing attention over time (read: the attention *GIVER* can become attracted to the attention getter) Thus, Subconscious Attraction = when a woman gives you: Attention + Time The person who becomes IMPRESSED with the other person, is the one who can become attracted. When a woman gives you Attention + Time, it is because they are (becoming) IMPRESSED. However, it is *CRUCIAL* that one not *TRY* TO IMPRESS while aiming for this end result. This is because: CONSCIOUS ATTRACTION can be created when one tries to impress or prove one’s own worth/ value to another (read: the person *TRYING TO IMPRESS* can become attracted to the person waiting to be impressed) Thus, Conscious Attraction = when a woman tries to impress you SIDENOTE 7A >>> Therefore, IME/IMO it’s important that “attraction is not a choice” be reworded to: Attraction is not a *SUBCONSCIOUS* choice. This means that if one simply follows MNX’s Push/Pull steps of attraction, a girl WILL BECOME (SUBCONSCIOUSLY) ATTRACTED to you! *IF* SHE *CONSCIOUSLY ALLOWS* HERSELF TO BE So in its entirety, the complete *UPDATED* theory is: Attraction is not a *SUBCONSCIOUS* choice, however, it CAN BE a *CONSCIOUS* decision. This is what is meant when a girl BACKWARDS RATIONALIZES that she is attracted. She CONSCIOUSLY makes the decision to ALLOW HERSELF TO FEEL THE EMOTION OF ATTRACTION. The same applies for when a girl “locks up” or has ASD: SHE IS *CONSCIOUSLY* NOT ALLOWING HERSELF TO FALL FOR YOU. SIDENOTE 7A: This is why so many guys in the community still assign high(er) value to a woman when they game her! By *TRYING* to IMPRESS the girl (with game), they are actually giving her high(er) value by SUBCOMMUNICATING that this girl *NEEDS* to be, or is *WAITING* to be, IMPRESSED, thus their reference of reality (read: their frame) is in order to get the girl, she must be “gamed” (read: impressed)! Although one *will* impress women with good game, ironically, “good game” does *NOT* mean “impressing” women. Marinate on that for a minute;-) mnxnetwork.com/events 7 MNX’s Push/Pull Attraction Model When someone wants another person to LIKE them, they want to bond with that person, impress that person, have that person be impressed, and gain the other’s approval and acceptance, etc. IOW, they want to be on the Love (PULL) side of the Pendulum. Every tactic in MNX’s Push/Pull Attraction Model leads one to accomplish this by: encouraging the connection by punishing bad behavior (of not Bonding), rewarding good behavior (of bonding), Forceframing everything she is/does/says as her trying to build rapport with you, and giving her chances to impress you. Each tactic fits into MNX’s Love/Hate Pendulum in accordance to how much Push (Hate side of the Pendulum; Breaking Rapport) and how much Pull (Love side of the Pendulum; Building Rapport) it (sub)communicates: PUSH Push = Challenge “Push” refers to CHALLENGING a woman. IOW, it means to BREAK RAPPORT with her: You do not accept her and/or her value (IOW, you CHALLENGE her or her value, by CHALLENGING her frame). Push subconsciously implies (frames) that your value is greater than hers (so she should/needs to prove the contrary by proving herself/her value) Breaking Rapport = Not accepting someone’s self/value/worth by challenging their reference of reality in order to have them prove their self/value/worth (in order for this to be successful, the Rapport Breaker’s Frame must be accepted by the other person). There are many ways to Break Rapport: Challenge(s), Disagree, Ignore, Dismiss, and Accuse are a few examples. A few reasons why one would use PUSH: To punish bad behavior, if she Pushed you first, to display certain HV ACQTs, to create tension, to relieve tension, to get her to become emotional; instill emotions, to make her care about the interaction (a negative emotion is better than no emotion at all;-) Example of a PUSH: I’m done with you now. Go away. REMEMBER: Attraction can only happen if she feels your value is equal to or greater than hers. By Pushing her, you are subconsciously/consciously implying (framing) that her value is lower than yours because you do not accept her value (or her own perceived high(er) value) therefore; you must be of high(er) value, at the very least, you must be of high(er) value in relation to *HER*. In-Field Excerpts: When a girl tries to turn one’s game down by infering one is “hitting on her/bothering her”, she is CHALLENGING (Pushing) you, so CHALLEGE (Push) her back! Girl: That’s so weird! Who says something like that? (Forceframing as low(er) value. Challenge) MNX: You giving me shit? Don’t make me set you in the corner. (Challenge) Girl: Whatever I’ll kick your ass! (Challenge) MNX: Yeah right. With those little things? Here. Make a muscle. Let’s see the guns. (Kinos her arm while she makes a muscle, feigns being impressed) Whoa! That’s impressive... for a girl! (makes a funny face) You got a while to go before you can hang with the big dogs. (Challenge. Hoop. Forceframing as high value. Challenge) 8 mnxnetwork.com/store Girl: Whatever! (Challenge) MNX: You’re cool. Tell me, you more of an outdoorsy person or do you workout at like LA Fitness or something. (Forceframing her as impressing him. Hoop) PUSHPULL PushPull = Challenging by forceframing the bond “PushPull” refers to CHALLENGING a woman by FORCING THE BOND. IOW, it means to FORCEFRAME RAPPORT with her. This is done by APPROVING (read: Taking/Mistaking/Interpreting/Misinterpreting) things she is/says/does as acceptable and/or even pleasing to you by cold reading and/or framing her behavior, actions, and/or communication as desirable. This can be done by either TAKING or INTERPRETING *OR* by MISTAKING or MISINTERPRETING her as trying to impress you and/or prove herself/her worth/her value to you in order to gain your approval/appreciation/acceptance/acknowledgment (i.e. TAKING or INTERPRETING or MISTAKING or MISINTERPRETING her as trying to build rapport with you, IOW, you view her (or MISTAKENLY view her) as trying to BOND with you) IOW, you are taking/mistaking her as qualifying herself (read: proving herself/her worth/her value/trying to impress you/giving value) in order for you to reward her via your attraction (Bond)! SIDENOTE 9A >>> SIDENOTE 9A: PushPull is similar to a Judo move where one uses a girl’s (negative) force of energy (read: her PUSH) and turns it around on her, putting a positive spin on it to assist in creating a connection! mnxnetwork.com/events 9 FORCEFRAMING RAPPORT = Although her value offering may or may not have been directed towards you, and/or she may infer that her value is neither offered nor directed towards you, regardless, according to your reference of reality (your frame), you are inferring that she *IS* trying to impress you and you take her, her actions, her behavior, and her communication as trying to impress you and therefore take her value (offering) as trying to impress you even if she did not offer value. Because Forceframing is basically judging her and/or her actions, behavior, value, etc, it places one’s self in the power position as having the higher value role in the interaction, as the “Approver”. Forceframing (by cold reading) implies that you *KNOW* her (you KNOW why she acts the way she does; perhaps even better than her). A few reasons why one would use PUSHPULL: She will not bond with you and continues to Push; IOW it’s time to bond and she is still on the Breaking Rapport side of the Love/Hate Pendulum, she is standoffish, as a tension release for a strong Bond Example of a PUSHPULL: You speak your mind. You don’t hold back… It’s refreshing. REMEMBER: It’s the person *TRYING TO IMPRESS* who can become attracted. By giving a PUSHPULL, you are inferring (read: Forceframing) that she is trying to impress you… Even/especially if (in reference to *her* reality) she is not! In-Field Excerpts: To reward a girl and move her emotions from the Hate side of the Love/Hate Pendulum to the Building Rapport side ALTHOUGH SHE CONTINUES to Challenge you and Break Rapport with you. IOW, this is one way to Bond without Rewarding bad behavior! (Quite some time had past since we first met and here are the texts that led to a D2) 921p MNX: I just met ur twin (Challenge) 943p Girl: Oh really? do you even remember what i look like? (Challenge) 1040p MNX: U dont play games.. Ur real.. Its refreshing (Forceframing her as impressing him. Bond) 1042p Girl: Haha thanks. so aka you dont remember what i look like at all, not sure how you saw my twin then (Bond. Challenge) 1103p MNX: To b honest Im about to cheat on u w her if we dont kick it soon;-) (Challenge. Hoop) 1104p Girl: Haha omg youre gonna cheat on me with my twin!? thats just low (Challenge. Forceframing as low(er) value) 1108p MNX: Be nice. Shes ur sister;-) where u at (Forceframing as high value. Hoop) 1109p Girl: I stayed in. i work at 7am (Bond) 1112p MNX: Ur responsible. Good girl;-) u seem fun. lets grab a beer at happy hour tomorrow. What time u off (Forceframing as high value. Bond. Forceframing as high value. Forceframing compliance. Hoop) 1118p Girl: Ah well i cant tomorrow but maybe sat? (Challenge. Bond) 1126p MNX: Surfn all morning so sat afternoon will work. Until then try not to ask ur twin so many questions bout me.. I can tell shes a jealous one;-) (Challenge. Bond. Forceframing her as chasing him. Challenge) 1127p Girl: Haha ill do my best.. she is kinda crzy tho so be careful (Bond) 10 mnxnetwork.com/store SIDENOTE 11A: ATTRACTION CAN BE CREATED when ones “frames”, “reframes”, or “Forceframes” everything she says/does/is as *HER* trying to impress *YOU*. PULLPUSH PullPush = Bonding through challenges “PullPush” refers to BONDING with a woman by challenging her to comply. IOW, it means to EXPECT RAPPORT with her. Challenging her to comply is important because it ALLOWS THE CHANCE FOR HER TO BOND WITH YOU. If/when she complies, she is making a SUBCONSCIOUS and/or CONSCIOUS decision TO ACCEPT YOUR (high) VALUE, IOW, BOND, with you. This is important because, essentially, by complying with your challenges, she is TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU. Also, by jumping through your hoop (read: by giving you compliance), she is taking the INITIATIVE to TRY TO PLEASE YOU. What you are basically subcommunicating with a Pull/Push is “Here you go, impress me. Prove your(self) value.” “Here’s your chance to impress me.” Once again this is important because it gives her a chance to impress you ON HER OWN ACCORD (in reference to *HER* reality) instead of a Forceframe when you are forcing *YOUR* reality upon her that she is trying to impress you. It is important to get her into the habit of TRYING/WANTING to IMPRESS YOU. SIDENOTE 11A >>> A few reasons why one would use PULLPUSH: To lead to BONDING, to secure and gauge a girl’s compliance, to screen, to give the girl a chance to impress (read: give her a chance to Pull/Bond); allow the girl to bond with one’s self (seemingly on her own accord;-), to get the girl to invest (in the interaction/a connection) Example of a PULLPUSH: Tell me you can cook. mnxnetwork.com/events 11 SIDENOTE 12A: The varying degrees of bonding depict how much effort she truly is putting forth to establish a connection. Simply put, Expecting Rapport (PullPush) means to throw a hoop. To get a feel for how invested she is in the encounter/connection, throw a hoop (IOW, GAUGE HER COMPLIANCE). This will give one the knowledge as to where she stands on the Love/Hate Pendulum and thus, her level of investment. Using the Love/Hate Pendulum as your guide, lead her to where you want her to go. Be sure to Reward her good behavior of giving compliance (IOW, Bond with her when she jumps through your hoops)! The difference between hoops that Break Rapport (Pushes/Challenges) and hoops that Expect Rapport is that with a challenging hoop, one feels that one *has to* prove one’s self. With a hoop where one Expects Rapport, one feels one “gets to/wants to” prove one’s self. Essentially it’s giving the girl a chance to impress you! REMEMBER: It’s the person who BECOMES IMPRESSED as well as the person *TRYING TO IMPRESS* who can become attracted to the person waiting to be impressed. PullPush is important because if she gives you compliance she is BOTH subconsciously/ consciously accepting your (high) value (IOW, becoming impressed) AND proving herself and/or her value (IOW, TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU!) In-Field Excerpts: Girl1: How old are you? (Challenge) MNX: Too old for you. (Challenge) Girl1: Seriously, how old are you? (Challenge) MNX: You remember dinosaurs? (Hoop) Girl1&2: Haha (Bond) MNX: Seriously, I used to have to hunt for my food. I woulda been the hunter, and you woulda been my gatherer. Actually, both of you woulda been my gatherers. I eat a lot. Tell me you can cook. (Reward. Forceframing compliance. Hoop) Girl2: I can cook! (Bond) MNX: Really? What can you cook. (Challenge. Hoop) Girl2: What can I cook?** (Challenge) **Notice because he should have Bonded instead of Challenged, she takes his hoop as a Challege and therefore she Challenges back! MNX: Your favorite thing. (Hoop) Girl2: I make a badass lasagna. (Bond) MNX: (physically picking her up and spinning her around) I LOVE lasagna! You are my new best friend! (Reward. Bond) PULL Pull = Bond “Pull” refers to BONDING with a woman. IOW, it means to BUILD RAPPORT with her. Building Rapport = to establish, reward, and solidify a connection by acknowledging, approving, accepting, appreciating, and even rewarding her and/or her value as well as sharing (read: giving) (your) value. <<< SIDENOTE 12A 12 mnxnetwork.com/store SIDENOTE 11B: Approving subcommunicates that the approver’s value is greater than the person being approved. Acceptance subcommunicates that the acceptor’s value is equal to the person being accepted. For attraction to even be possible, *SHE* must perceive one’s value to be equal to or greater than hers! Pull subconsciously implies (frames) that her value is equal to yours because *YOU* HAVE ACCEPTED *HER* value. Acceptance of one’s value = Bonding. Bonding subcommunicates that one “*IS* impressed”. Getting a girl to Bond with you *IS* the game; going from meet to mate, creating a connection (bonding on an emotional level), and finally, bonding on a physical level. The interaction should always be framed as her bonding/*trying* to bond with you. The reason this is such an integral step in securing her attraction is because when someone Bonds with another, they are ACCEPTING the other’s value. IOW, she is ACCEPTING the frame, your reference of reality that one should (WANT TO) bond with you as well as accepting the frame that your value is equal to or greater than hers. SIDENOTE 11B >>> Punish her bad behavior of not establishing a connection (read: not Bonding) with you and reward and encourage her good behavior of establishing a connection (read: Bonding) with you (i.e. Push (Challenge) when it is time to Punish, Pull (Bond) when it is time to Reward, etc). If she doesn’t Bond, punish her bad behavior by Pushing. If she continues to Push, Forceframe her as trying to Bond, then either Bond (give value), and/or throw a hoop to gauge her compliance, her interest, and get her to invest (and to get her to start ACCEPTING your frame (value, etc) -> if she jumps through your hoop, she is subconsciously accepting your frame!). Continue this cycle to ensure you don’t reward bad behavior and/or punish good behavior. While Bonding, continue to throw hoops and/or Forceframes to continue to challenge her in order to maintain just the right amount of tension (which leads to physical bonding;-) Example of a BOND: Give value: for example share the Mona Lisa anecdote as it displays various HV ACQTs mnxnetwork.com/events 13 In-Field Excerpts: Mona Lisa Anecdote: MNX: You seem very German. (Forceframing a connection) Girl: Yeah Im German, Irish, and English. (Bond) MNX: Very cool. You actually remind me of a friend of mine, she’s German, I have some German in me too, and she was all excited and telling me bout how German scientists just found out who the inspiration of the Mona Lisa was. Come to find out it was this married woman that Leonardo. Leonardo. I was about to say Leonardo Di Caprio;-) (Bond. Forecframe a connection. Bond) Girl: Haha (Bond) MNX: (pointing at her face smiling) Oh my god look at you right now! (Bond) Girl: Haha (Bond) MNX: It was this married woman Leonardo Da Vinci, was crushing on. He hid the true meaning from everyone because he loved her and didn’t want her to get a bad name. It’s actually known as the “happy married woman” in Italian.. Not “happily”. I probably shouldn’t have told you this, I’m kind of a hopeless romantic. I’m kind of a dork, stuff like this interests me. Forget I said anything. (Bond. Challenge) Girl: Nooo! That’s actually really sweet. I’ve always wanted to go to Europe. Have you been? (Bond. Hoop -> to encourage more Bonding!) REMEMBER: Time + Attention = Attraction. EVEN IF SHE IS NOT *INITIALLY* ATTRACTED, SHE CAN BECOME (subconsciously) ATTRACTED OVER TIME by following the MNX Push/Pull Model! Just stay in there and direct the social subcommunication by incorporating PUSHES, PUSHPULLS, PULLPUSHES, and PULLS into the interaction. By following this model WOMEN *WILL* BECOME ATTRACTED to you. It is only natural (a subconscious and/or conscious tendency)! This subconscious attraction will eventually be brought to the forefront by her either backwards rationalizing that things “just happened” or her believing everything was spontaneous. Now one can better understand why I put such a huge emphasis on staying in set past one’s comfort zone and dealing with social pressure. There is actually a method to my madness;-) By internalizing the Love/Hate Pendulum and understanding the dynamics of MNX’s Push/ Pull Model, one will be able to handle negative OR positive social pressure CORRECTLY/ EFFECTIVELY and attract women (by creating strong emotions within her, maintaining these emotions, and leading her through this emotional state to physical bonding). WAYS OF THE GENTLEMAN Attraction can only happen if a woman believes a man’s value to be equal to or greater than hers. Attraction can happen when she spends time with a guy, gives him attention, and in turn, wants *his* time and attention. Giving someone your time and/or your attention is a form of compliance. How much time and attention she gives *you* is a good gauge of how attracted she is (read: her compliance = investment). IOW, how much time and attention she gives you, and how much she *VALUES* YOUR time and attention, directly correlates to how EMOTIONALLY INVESTED she is in the interaction. The more emotionally invested she is, the more she will want to physically bond with you;-) The more she wants to Bond or is ready to Bond, the more compliance she will give. The less she complies (if at all) shows she is on the Hate (Push) side of the Love/Hate Pendulum. If physical compliance is an end goal, then you and her need to spend as much time as possible on the Love side of the Pendulum (where acceptance, investment, and REWARD happen;-) 14 mnxnetwork.com/store SIDENOTE 15A: This is where many old attraction strategies went wrong. Sometimes one would be trying to bond with a girl when she needed to be challenged or challenge a girl when she wanted to bond. Forceframing her Push is the transition to Pull. One should not continue to stay on the Hate side of the Love/ Hate Pendulum if Bonding (Physically or Emontionally) is one’s goal. Use the momentum swing of her emotions with Forceframing as the catalyst to sway her to the Love side. This shouldn’t be looked at as SHE is leading the encounter but rather, YOU are moving it along to where you want it to go. <<(less)< COMPLIANCE >(more)>> This is why PUSHPULL is of the utmost importance in a seduction. Framing (or if necessary, Forceframing;-) her behavior, attitude, actions, verbal and nonverbal communication as her *trying* to Bond with you subcommunicates to her subconscious that she truly *IS* attracted and is the transition from punishing her bad behavior (*her* Push) with your reward (*your* Pull). SIDENOTE 15A >>> Early in the encounter, when the girl is not as invested (especially if *SHE* has the perceived higher value), one should transform one’s questions into statements by making assumptions (i.e. basic cold reading IOW, FORCEFRAMES). This allows the banter to come off as more Challenging (on the Breaking Rapport (Push) side of the Love/Hate Pendulum) than coming off as seemingly trying to Bond (Build Rapport) which, this early in the encounter (especially if/ when the girl does not comply), can be viewed as *TRYHARD*/telegraphing too much interest (Trying too hard for rapport, supplicating). NOTE: If a woman does not jump through one’s hoop, IOW answer one’s question, this *immediately* lowers one’s value. This can be viewed as the girl does not perceive the speaker as of (High) enough value to even bother to answer. The LONGER it takes for the girl to comply, if at all, cements her position as the High(er) Value role, IOW, “the prize”, this early in the encounter. (That’s why stacking and plowing come into play as to NOT DRAW ATTENTION TO HER NON-COMPLIANCE) SIDENOTE 15B >>> SIDENOTE 15B: Use these tactics that women use against them! Take your time when answering a question. Don’t always “hear” what she said. These tactics are all found on the Breaking Rapport (PUSH) side of the Love/Hate Pendulum. mnxnetwork.com/events 15 SIDENOTE 16A: Referring back to the example of the girl challenging (PUSHING) you. Once you had passed her challenge, she became IMPRESSED which meant she then ACCEPTED your value, and because ACCEPTANCE of Value is on the LOVE side of the Love/Hate Pendulum (where her emotions now stand), it means she is now (Emotionally) READY TO BOND (IOW, love you)! SIDENOTE 16B: This way, the LONGER she stays in set with you, the more her subconscious/ conscious is going to accept your frame, your reference of reality that she *IS* attracted to you. In layman’s terms, Assume the Sale: Interact with her like you KNOW she is attracted. The more convincing you are (the “stronger” your frame is), COMBINED with the strategy of knowing WHERE one is on the Love/Hate Pendulum and knowing WHEN to use Push, PushPull, PullPush, and Pull, the faster and deeper her attraction to you will be. Once her Love/Hate Pendulum gets swinging, she will constantly be trying to either bond or challenge you. If physical bonding is your end goal, internalization of MNX’s Love/Hate Pendulum is crucial. This will give you the knowledge of WHEN to PUSH (Challenge), PULL (Bond), PUSHPULL (Forceframe), and PULLPUSH (throw hoops). Viewing the girl’s compliance as a gauge (i.e. her investment/involvement in the interaction), one can learn when to make assumptions (when getting low(er) compliance), and when to ask questions (when getting high(er) compliance). Based off of compliance, one could even make assumptions ending in small hoops to soften the challenge. Remember to use the inflection of stating a declaration, not a question. Ex: Oh gawd! You’re one of those girls who thinks shopping is a sport, aren’t you. NOTE: Approaching in and of itself, is always a type of PULL (even if you Push, for example: your opener is a neg) because you are trying to BUILD RAPPORT, even if FRAMING it as *trying* to Break Rapport (or as any of the other tactics: PUSHPULL, PULLPUSH). So this means that if she answers your Push with a Push of her own, ACKNOWLEDGE her value with a PushPull before giving value (Bonding) and then throw a hoop (bonding through challenges). <<< SIDENOTE 16A Remember: It is important to get her Love/Hate Pendulum swinging. For her to become attracted, the worst thing she can be is indifferent to your advances. IME, she NEEDS to become emotional (positively or negatively). IOW, in order to guide her along the Love/Hate Pendulum it is important to understand when she is (or can be perceived as) building or breaking rapport with you. The Push/Pull Love/Hate Dynamic allows one to always frame a woman as: Building rapport or trying to build rapport (in order to win your approval/acceptance) Breaking rapport or trying to break rapport (in order to prove her value) Impressing you or trying to impress you (in order to win your approval/acceptance) Mistaking her as impressing you or trying to impress you (in order to prove her value) Through these frames, no matter what a girl does/is/says, the entire interaction/encounter can always be viewed as her trying to “win you over”. This cycle is repeated until she accepts the frame subconsciously and/or consciously and bonds with you emotionally and eventually physically;-) <<< SIDENOTE 16B 16 mnxnetwork.com/store **ENDNOTES** Push/Pull *IS* an effective strategy, but obviously one must FIRST have one’s FUNDAMENTALS down in order for one to game at one’s highest potential. Every *EFFECTIVE* attraction strategy adheres to MNX’s Love/Hate Pendulum. It is the natural “swing” of emotions. The short answer as to why some of the more popular attraction strategies do not *always* work: VARIABLES There are countless variables on both the male and female sides of an interaction while trying to secure attraction that one may or may not be able to account for. The first step is to get one’s fundamentals (i.e. subcommunication, body language, style, mental state, inner game, etc) down so that in *EVERY INTERACTION* one can at least count on himself as the *CONSTANT* in the equation of attracting women. The next step is for one to start noticing patterns in women’s behavior in interactions. Notice something that a woman says/does/is that another woman said/did/was BEFORE/AFTER/ DURING one’s *OWN* action/reaction/behavior/attitude/communication/etc in one’s interaction. Read that step several times until you fully internalize it (i.e. notice something that a woman says to you, that another woman had already said to you, after you did something during your interaction with her. Did you do the same thing to both girls to elicit the same response? Did you get the same response but somehow those responses were initiated differently? MAKE MENTAL NOTES OF THESE PATTERNS) SIDENOTE 17A >>> The next step is for one to start RECOGNIZING THESE PATTERNS of women’s behavior in one’s interaction with a PARTICULAR WOMAN (one’s target) and then UNDERSTAND what that behavior means (i.e. what it will lead to), and WHAT WILL HAPPEN AS A RESULT OF THAT BEHAVIOR (does she become more/less attracted). The final step is to start INCORPORATING the INITIATORS OF DESIRABLE PATTERNS into one’s game. IOW, you will LEAD her to where you want her to be: EMOTIONALLY, PHYSICALLY, & LOGISTICALLY A Few Examples of Advanced Variables (discussed in later chapters) Emotional States (MNX Tone Levels) Attitudes High Self Esteem (HSE) Low Self Esteem (LSE) High(er)/Lowe(er) Relative Value High(er)/Lowe(er) Situational Value NOTE: The reason one’s game may not work on every target is because of the aforementioned Variables. When one becomes more advanced, after being able to learn when/why/ how to initiate a desirable behavior in a woman, one will be able to notice MORE patterns, for example, if a girl is HSE or LSE or if she has High Situational Value or Low Relative Value, if she is in a good mood or upset. Emotions, state of mind, attitude, confidence, social intelligence, etc -> ALL VARIABLES (that *CAN* be accounted for and AFFECT how one should game that particular girl at that particular moment;-) SIDENOTE 17A: Sometimes one tries to INITIATE a desired response by doing a particular action or saying a particular thing, but women’s behavior is mixed as a result. This sticking point can be fixed first by being aware of one’s own fundamentals (making sure you are not leaning in, etc) and then secondly, if one’s fundamentals are down, then RANGING (read: field testing) may be needed. This means to test the material/action/etc out during *different* stages of one’s interactions with women until one secures the desired end result, and then test it on SEVERAL different women to find when/why/how the best possible desired end result occurred (IOW, did it happen when she/you were bonding/ challenging/had social proof/high(er) value/etc MAKE MENTAL NOTES OF THESE PATTERNS AS WELL mnxnetwork.com/events 17 SIDENOTE 18A: Having the “stronger” frame and gaming every girl the exact same way sounds great in theory… but it is not the best nor the most efficient way. By not budging, adapting, or tailoring one’s game to the particular girl one is gaming, one WILL ALWAYS BE PLAYING A ‘NUMBERS’ GAME -> only the girls who ACCEPT one’s frame, will become attracted. The problem with this is that if no girl accepts one’s “strong frame” at a venue, then unfortunately, there will be one lonely strong framed individual at that venue. Adapt. Evolve. Reactiveness gets a bad rep by the community. Being EMOTIONALLY REACTIVE, not to be confused with THE ABILITY TO REACT, is when one allows one’s emotions to become affected by another and is obviously not always a positive (i.e. becoming depressed or losing “state” when a girl turns one’s game down, or becoming upset when a girl doesn’t call back). HOWEVER, being able to ADAPT one’s game to a woman and then REACT is what advanced game is all about: Rising to the occasion… anytime… anyplace. <<< SIDENOTE 18A APPLICABLE TO YOUR FRAME: These exercises are designed to deepen your understanding of the Love/Hate Pendulum and MNX’s Push/Pull Attraction Model. Please include them in your email and write “LHP (your name)” as the subject header in your response. Thank you List 5 WAYS to Break Rapport: 1. Challenge 2. 3. 4. 5. Create 7 different PUSHES. Have at least 2 be body language or kino related. 1. I’m done with you now. Go away. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. List 9 WAYS to Build Rapport: 1. Reward a connection 2. Reward her value 3. Share or give value 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Create 7 different PULLS. Have at least 2 be body language or kino related. 1. Mona Lisa Anecdote: 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Create 5 approval phrases that infer High(er) Value and acceptance (PushPull). HINT: Judging another (hopefully in a positive light;-) comes from a position of higher value 1. You speak your mind. You don’t hold back… It’s refreshing. 2. 3. 4. 5. Create 5 hoops that allow one to prove one’s compliance and/or value (PullPush). Have at least 2 be body language or kino. 1. Tell me you can cook. 2. (compliance test: hold out your hands palms up while talking to see if she places her hands on yours) 3. 4. 5. 18 mnxnetwork.com/store Push Challenge/ Challenging Breaking Rapport PushPull Challenging by forcing the bond Forceframing Rapport PullPush Bonding through challenges Expecting Rapport Pull Bond/ Bonding Building Rapport <<(less)< COMPLIANCE >(more)>> mnxnetwork.com/store mnxnetwork.com/events The Ways of the Gentleman Chapter 4 MNX Network v03.10
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