Claire Wilmsen November 13, 2011 Minority Experience Project First Minority Experience: Wheelchair Track Practice For my firstminority experience I decided to attend a regular outdoor track practice with the Illinois Wheelchair Track Team. I was inspired to do this because I had recently befriended a new member of the team and I found out that our classmate, Brian, is on the team as well. I felt that I would be a minority in several ways during this experience. Obviously, I assumed I would be a minority due to the fact that I do not use a wheelchair, but also because I am not particularly athletic and because I assumed the team was not coed and therefore I would be a gender minority as well. While I was correct in assuming I would be the minority in this situation, it was completely different than I anticipated. After obtaining permission from the coach and finding a date to attend practice my experience began. I rode my bike over to the DRES building and left it locked up outside. When I got inside the coach, Adam Bleakney was in his office and I explained to him the minority project and he said he was happy to have me help out during practice. Unfortunately, at least from the way I felt fro most of the practice, it was probably more work to allow me to attend practice than my “help” was worth. At this point I also met the assistant coach, Anna Wetzel. To my surprise she does not use a wheelchair at all and coaches from her bike. Even though I had assumed I would be the only person on bike that day, I still felt like a minority around Anna considering the fact that I looked like such an amateur on my rusty old bike next to her. From the DRES building, we all headed outside to begin practice. At this point I found out that my friend who is on the team could not make it that day and at this point in the semester I really did not know Brian very well so I felt like the little safety net I had before had completely vanished. It took all of about 5 minutes for me to realize that for this experience, the 1 most glaring difference between the track team members and me was that I was completely unable to keep up. I fell behind almost immediately and it was not because I was not trying. Everyone was going fast! I mean it, they were all going really fast and considering the fact that the practice for that day was supposed to be a 15 mile route I was worried. Fortunately for me, there was one member of the team who went at a slower pace than the rest. The assistant coach asked me to stay with this girl so that she would have someone to make sure cars could see her. I was more than happy to stay at the back of the pack with this girl and honestly, we still were not going at a slow pace and I certainly would not say that practice got easier for me, it just became possible. Throughout the practice I tried to talk to the girl I was riding with. She was pretty open and willing to talk to me but I worried that I was either annoying her with my questions or that she just really needed to concentrate on what she was doing. All I know is that by the time it was all over I was exhausted. I thanked Maggie for letting me tag along and also thanked the coaches for letting me be there. Although the experience only lasted a few hours it stayed with me for a lot longer afterwards. Not only did I feel sore for the rest of the week, but also the experience also really resonated with me because I feel like I really saw the campus from a new perspective. I did not know for sure at that time, but this first experience of mine definitely ended up being my favorite. Second Minority Experience: Math 413 Lecture and Discussion For my second minority experience I decided to go with a completely different route. I moved on from an experience based on physical discrepancy to one based more on intellectual disparity. I asked my friend Richie, who happens to be a math major, if I could tag along to one of his upper level math classes. We made a plan for me to go with him to his Math 413 class. 2 The class is structured as both a lecture and a discussion. I presumed that I would be the minority in this class because not only am I not a math major, but also I am what I like to consider completely mathematically illiterate. Math has always been my least favorite subject in school and I knew that by attending a class so out of the small range that is my ability I would be made to feel uncomfortable. When I got to the class I was immediately taken aback by the small size of the room. In the class there were about 25 students but the room was cramped with closely spaced desks and chairs. I knew as soon as I walked in that this was not the sort of classroom in which you could go unnoticed. The professor was able to see each individual student from his position as he lectured and made a habit of calling on students at random for feedback. It was bad enough for me to be sitting and trying my hardest to understand what was going on, but on top of that I was constantly terrified that I would be called upon for an answer. I was selfconscious and embarrassed at my lack of ability to participate. However, in the spirit of the assignment I did my best to pay attention so that when we broke up in small groups I was able to speak about the problems competently enough that I did not completely humiliate myself. While I had originally planned on trying to just fit seamlessly into the classroom I ended up feeling compelled to explain to my group what I was up to with the whole minority project. Even with my best efforts I was not fooling anyone into believing that I belonged in a 400 level math class. The discussion aspect of the class was much more interesting for me and considerably less terrifying because I felt I had control over my participation. Overall, the experience was enriching but it also made those 2 hours of my day feel like 20. 3 Third Minority Experience: C-Street Drag Show Night For my third minority experience I decided to go to Chester Street Bar in Downtown Champaign for the Sunday Night Drag Show. Once again, I tried to plan my minority experiences so that they would expose me to how it feels to be a minority in different ways. This experience certainly was nothing like my first two and very much unlike anything else I have ever experienced before. I planned to go to the Drag Show Night with a few of my classmates. We purposely did not try to assemble a large group because we thought that would be less authentic, but I still did not feel comfortable going alone, so this ended up being a good compromise. When we first arrived at the bar, it did not appear to be significantly different from any other of the bar scenes on campus. I was carded, given a stamp to show I was underage and that was that. As I started to look around however, I became more acquainted with my position as a minority. I had expected to be a minority based on sexual orientation given the fact that CStreet is a proclaimed gay bar and that particular night was specifically designated Drag Night, however I did not expect to be the minority based on ethnicity as well. The majority of the crowd that night was African American and Latino. I watched the Drag Show, which was a combination of music, dancing, theatrics, and elaborate costumes and I actually, I thought it was great. I have several friends from home who are gay so I found that this experience did not make me feel especially uncomfortable. What I was unaccustomed to however was how open everyone was. I was asked several times what my orientation was. I was not anticipating it but I did not mind and no one seemed to treat me differently. Over all my experience was not what I expected. Aside from the actual drag show C-Street was just like any other bar. It just puts into perspective that you should not make judgments about people or in this case places that you are unfamiliar with before you experience them. 4 Fourth Minority Experience: Silver Shoes For my fourth minority experience I actually went back to my hometown for. I went to Oak Lawn, IL for the weekend so that I could participate in a senior citizens’ exercise class at the gym by my house. The class was at Bally’s Total Fitness and it was called “Silver Shoes”. You might think that by now I would have learned better and known that none of my experiences go exactly the way I think they will. However I found that in taking this exercise class I was surprised once again. I found that I was the minority not only by age, as everyone else had at least 40 years on me, but also to a certain extent by ability. When I arrived at the gym I was not really feeling out of place considering I have been a member for years. I will admit though, this was probably the first time I have ever been up at 7 A.M. to exercise. I made my way to the room where the class was being held and saw that there were already a group of about 15 people warming up. The class is open to all members so I did not feel the need to explain myself but I did feel I received a few sideways glances for being there. I did not feel particularly unwelcomed, but I did feel a little left out because it seemed like everyone else knew each other. Once the class got started I felt out of place on a whole other level. The class was cardio based and while I exercise pretty frequently, I found myself struggling a little bit to keep up. I think it was a combination of trying to learn something new and being up earlier in the morning than I am used to that led to my difficulties. However, after class I stuck around to talk to some of the seniors and told them about my project. Everyone was very friendly and it made me wish I had been up front from the beginning and told them my situation before class began. 5 Fifth & Final Minority Experience: TIMES Center I chose to complete my fifth and final minority experience at the TIMES Center, a soup kitchen. I signed up to work as a volunteer for a weekday dinner shift and I was told it would last about 2 hours but that is all I knew about it going in. I assumed that in this experience I would be the minority based on socioeconomic class. While this was true I also realized I was a minority in other ways as well. First of all I was a minority among the volunteers because while this was my first time working there most of them volunteered on a regular weekly basis. Everyone was nice to me and very helpful. I was shown how things are done and what I could do to help. I found that this made my experience in the kitchen very comfortable. However, after about a half hour of working in the back I was told that it was my turn to help serve the food. This was the more difficult part of my experience. The actual work, serving food to the people, was not difficult at all. It was being confronted by the realities of poverty and misfortune that was difficult to swallow. Everyone who I served was polite and I never experienced any issues, but it was difficult for me because you could tell just looking at the people that they were all going through hard times. The thought of needing to go to a soup kitchen for a meal is not one that I have ever really entertained and it made me think that all of these people probably felt this way too at one point. Over all it was a truly eye-opening experience. 6 Minority Experience Reflection Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. While most people are familiar with some variation of this proverb, it is safe to say that not everyone lives by it. Looking back, I can see now that this minority experience project has given me a unique opportunity to really live out this saying. As an aspiring teacher I believe this project has been monumentally beneficial to me. My five minority experiences could not have been more varied. I attended a wheelchair track practice, an upper-level math class, a drag show, a senior citizen workout class, and a soup kitchen. Through all of these experiences I have gained valuable insight of how it feels to be a minority. It is a teacher’s responsibility to provide a comfortable and productive learning environment for her students and I believe that this insight I have gained will help me to do so. No matter how a person becomes the minority in a group, whether it is based on physical ability, intellectual capacity, sexual orientation, age, or socioeconomic background, their experience can be isolating and detrimental. However, if one takes the time to recognize and relate to marginalized people, it may come as a surprise how relatable they may be. For my first minority experience I attended the wheelchair track practice. It ended up being an experience that I truly enjoyed and that has left a lasting impression on me. Before this year I had not known anyone very closely who has a physical handicap. Because of this I felt like it was a taboo subject to speak about. For me, it was uncomfortable to talk about because it was foreign to me and I would never want to accidentally say the wrong thing. I think this is how many people feel towards any kind of minority. It goes along with the idea of saying that you are “color-blind to race”. Simply ignoring that a person is different does not make things better. 7 From my experience with the track team I learned that the members were very willing to share with me details of their everyday life. I had a similar experience with this when I attended the senior citizen exercise class. Neither of these groups of people defined themselves based on their physical limitations but rather embraced what they have been able to achieve. At track practice I also noticed that most of the members were not concerned with the terms used to describe their condition. No one seemed to care whether or not they were being called handicapped as opposed to physically disabled or differently abled. I think it is common for people to get caught up in trying so hard to be politically correct that they forget that they are speaking to regular people. Another thing that I took note of during my experience occurred when we were out on the road during practice, I saw on more than one occasion people in their cars staring with their mouths wide open at us as we went by. I understand that not everyone may be acquainted with someone who is in a wheelchair, because before recently I was not either. However, this really shocked me. The University of Illinois is well known for being a very handicap accessible campus, so I assumed that most people would not react with such surprise to see the track team out practicing. This just opened my eyes to what people who are the minority go through. It is not easy to feel out of place or gawked at. This insight will stick with me and I hope to use it to make sure I always try to make an extra effort to make students feel included and welcome in my classroom. My experience going to C-Street for the Drag Show Night was also considerably meaningful to me. While I was there I had a good time and enjoyed myself, but it was not until I was home and reflected upon my experience that I realized the importance of it. While at the bar I found that it was not at all what I expected. Perhaps I was anticipating the experience to be 8 much more dramatic. I expected that as a minority based on sexual orientation that being in the environment of a drag show would be more uncomfortable for me. Instead I found the openness of the people there to be refreshing. On more than one occasion I was asked whether or not I was a lesbian. I had no problem answering that I was not and I realized that this is because I have never had to grow up justifying my sexual orientation. My personal preference conforms with the societal norms and so I have never had to deal with any sort of confrontation about it. I have several friends at home who are gay and looking back I feel bad because I know for a fact that they did not receive the same kind of support that I did from our high school. Sometimes simply because they do not know better, children can be cruel to those that are different from them. That is why I think it is absolutely vital for teachers to provide students with an environment that allows them to feel safe to express who they are. This leads me to a very important part of my teaching philosophy and that is that every teacher should have a firm anti-bullying stance. There are always going to be people in the world who will refuse to accept people who are different from them, but it should not be an option in the classroom. My experiences in my friend’s upper level math class and my time spent volunteering at the soup kitchen surprisingly taught me related lessons. In the math class I recognized what kind of scenarios were making me particularly uncomfortable. I realized that I really did not like that the teacher put students on the spot. While I believe that there has to be measures taken to ensure that students are engaged and participating, this tactic from an outsider’s perspective feels like an ambush. I felt much more comfortable in the class when I was allowed to speak with a small group instead of being made to respond to the entire class on the spot. This is something I intend 9 to keep in mind when I start teaching. Students should be given notice of what will be expected of them. Also, from my time at the TIMES Center, soup kitchen, I found that I really enjoyed the experience because the regular volunteers reached out to me and were willing to help. In the case that there is a student in my classroom that is maybe new to the room or somehow a minority to the rest of the group I think it is vital to ensure that other students are prepared to help that student become part of the group. This is not to say that differences are overlooked, but rather that they are accounted for. Growing up he way I did, as a middle class, Caucasian female, with two married, college educated parents, I would be easy for me to go through life never thinking from a minority’s perspective. Throughout my life, both in my neighborhood and in the schools I have attended, I have rarely been a part of a marginalized group. However, from this experience, I was given the opportunity first hand to feel how its feels to be on the other side of the scenario. It has opened my eyes and made me realize that there are many ways that a person can be a minority and many obstacles that a person goes through because of their minority status. It is not always obvious to observers that a person is even a part of a minority group. In the case of religion, sexual orientation, or socioeconomic class it might not be a visible or tangible difference that sets a minority apart from the majority. Because of this it is all the more important for a teacher especially to be receptive and welcoming to all of her students including those who are a part of a minority group. I learned this lesson very quickly while I was at the TIMES Center soup kitchen. As I was serving the meal it dawned on me that if I was not looking at these people knowing that they were relying on a food pantry for a decent meal, I may have no idea that they 10 were going through a hard time. It reminded one must be sensitive of the fact that everyone has issues and problems that go deeper than the surface. All in all the minority experience project offered me much more than I expected. I learned a lot about groups of people that I otherwise would not have learned. I also learned some new things about myself as well as how it feels to be a minority. One thing that I still feel I have to keep in mind though is that throughout this entire project I have had choices. I got to choose when and where I was a minority. I then was able to leave the situation and go back to my normal life. This is important to keep in mind because although I felt that I experienced real minority situations I did not have to live that way day in and day out. I will remember when being part of a minority group made me feel isolated or not included and I hope that these experiences will help me to prevent any of my students from feeling that way. I plan to incorporate all the different things I have learned from this into my teaching philosophy and by overall perspective on life. 11