MIND POWER SECRETSBY Dr. IAN FABIAN PhD COPYRIGHT 2003 X FACTOR /ESP PRODUCTIONS Reproduction in ANY form or manner is PROHIBITED, unless authorised by the HOLDER of this COPYRIGHT or by a CERTIFIED AGENT. MIND POWER SECRETS Proven methods for unleashing the true potential of your mind Contents 1. About The Author 2. Master Your Mind 3. Superior Learning Made Easy 4. Meditation 5. Learning To Meditate 6. Mantra Meditation 7. Are You Ready To Meditate? 8. The Inner Sanctuary 9. The Power of Your Mind 10. The Master Plan 11. Let Us Review The Master Plan 12. M. P. Meditation 13. Do Want To Read Minds? 14. Dreams, What They Mean? 15. Question & Answer 16. Natural Magnetic Fields 17. Mind Control- How To Command & Influence People 18. The Styles and Methods of Mind Control 19. You Have To Look The Part 20. Be The Man Who Is In Demand 21. When The Fight For Control Gets Harder 22. Say Whatever Does The Trick 23. From Start To Finish 24. To Sum It Up 25. How To Conquer Any Fear Quickly, Easily & Permanently 26. How To Get Everything You Want Out of Life 27. Break Out Of Your Routine 28. Bad Habit – You Can Break It In A Few Days 29. A Short Memory Course 30. How To Remember Names 31. How To Remember Anything! 32. Memory & Public Speaking Tips 33. Developing Self-Confidence 34. Improving Your Self Image 35. Shyness – Four Steps You Can Take To Overcome It 36. 20 Questions 37. How To Look and Feel Younger 38. How To Unlock Your Winning Powers ABOUT THE AUTHOR Ian was born in Hong Kong and it was noted even at an early age of five that he could see into the future: Often telling people what was about to happen to them. At that age most people disregarded it, only to come back within days to let his parents know that what had been said had indeed happened! Eventually the British Government learned of this talent and Ian was asked to participate in a number of experiments for them. Even today he is still asked by Government Agencies and Police forces around the World to help in specific cases. Ian studied medicine and was destined to join the medical profession. After a severe accident he was told that his right arm would have to be amputated. Ian refused the medical advice, healed it himself and turned his back entirely on the modern medical profession. Instead he headed out into the World using his natural talents. Ian has toured the World, and now resides by the sea in Morecambe in the United Kingdom, with his wife and family, but still travels around the World giving advice and personal readings to clients that include. Richard Branson Bill Gates Ozzy Osbourne Tom Jones Ian has also had the pleasure of reading for the Royal family, on numerous occasions. Ian also runs a company called ESP Productions. ESP Productions tour the World with renowned astrologers, clairvoyants, psychics and mediums, bringing the same high calibre content to the not so famous (real people) as Ian likes to call them. Keep your eyes open, as they will no doubt be coming to a town near you soon. MASTER YOUR MIND Please read the entire program before doing suggested Meditations, in order to enable you to have a better understanding of the information. The information you are about to read is of little value to you unless you apply it. YOU must do your part. Anything that is worth having is worth working for. After over ten years of research and application plus hundreds of pounds invested in this field, the author of this program knows that this program will definitely change one's life for the better, if information is applied as directed. If, we let it, the mind can give us anything that we ask. People function at one-tenth consciousness and at most one-tenth of their abilities. Everyone has tremendous latent powers within their subconscious mind. It is truly unfortunate that most people are not taught how to contact it. Are you serious about contacting your sub-conscious and thereby acquiring apparently miraculous results in your life? SUPERIOR LEARNING MADE EASY You must be "willing" to absorb new knowledge. You must "open your mind" to new ideas. You must "imagine". You must "visualize" that the knowledge is "flowing into you". MEDITATION Let us now discuss meditation. Meditation has many different uses and it can be applied into practically every aspect of your life. Children do it naturally. Have you ever watched a child so absorbed in play that he isn't even aware of anything beyond his fascination with his toys? If someone was to walk up behind him, the child would be startled. Meditation requires that you acquire this type of absorption. This absorption is what refreshes and heals. Meditation is a very powerful tool. As our muscles relax, our mind will quiet down and our sagging spirits will revive. We are once again in control of our lives. Scientific research has repeatedly proven that meditation has many great benefits such as: Slowing down our aging process Alleviating pain Letting us get by on less sleep Lowering our serum cholesterol level Reducing bacteria levels in our saliva therefore fewer cavities Increasing blood flow to the brain making us smarter Better memory plus many, many more benefits too numerous to mention Everyone who meditates on a daily basis claims different benefits he or she acquired in these four levels: emotional mental - physical - spiritual. LEARNING TO MEDITATE Learning to meditate can be fun and exciting, but you must keep these three important factors in mind at all times: (1) POSTURE - the important thing is to keep your spine straight because this positions your nerves just right and helps keep you alert. (2) BREATH - after you have relaxed your body, you want your breathing to be slow, even and diaphragmatic. By controlling the breath, you directly influence the autonomic processes in your body, like immunity, circulation and digestion. Breathing is the one body function that is both voluntary and automatic. (3) ATTITUDE - Try to have a relaxed, confident attitude before you start to meditate. Don't worry about "doing it exactly as outlined". Just do your best and with time you will discover the method that is "perfect for you". As a beginner, you will notice that your thoughts keep wandering in one direction, then another. Keep returning your attention, as best as you can, to the objective of your meditation. (Whether it is your mantra or visualization, which we will discuss later.) DAYDREAMING while meditating will not produce the same results. MANTRA MEDITATION This meditation is very powerful. It is designed especially to help you overcome your inability to quiet your mind. Quieting the mind is one of the greatest stumbling blocks, which must be overcome in order to enable you to get the most out of meditation. When your thoughts wander, return your attention to the mantra and begin again. Do not get upset or angry with yourself, simply start again. ARE YOU READY TO MEDITATE This meditation should be done every morning, before eating, for ten minutes, gradually increasing time up to twenty minutes. This meditation will tend to keep you awake longer so if you decide to do it in the evening please do it before your evening meal. Now that you have decided to meditate, choose a comfortable chair which allows you to sit upright, loosen or remove any tight clothing. If you are extra tense, you can shrug your shoulders, roll your neck and use your favourite body stretches. 1. Inhale a deep breath to the count of four and slowly exhale to the count of six. Repeat five times. 2. Assume normal breathing. 3. Close your eyelids and focus your eyes upwards to the third eye. This is the point between the eyebrows directly above the bridge of the nose. 4. Let your chin rest on your chest, head relaxed downward. 5. Let your hands rest easily on your lap, palms turned upwards as a sign of receptivity. 6. Make sure your spine is upright and also have the bottom of your feet resting on the floor thereby keeping you grounded. 7. Your mantra is the word "aum". Mentally repeat this word over and over without moving your lips or tongue. As you are mentally repeating your mantra "aum - aum - aum", if other thoughts enter just gently push them aside. By doing this MANTRA Meditation on a daily basis, you will feel inner peace, inner serenity. This inner serenity will glow to such an extent outwardly, your friends may even comment on it. I cannot repeat this enough, "This meditation is very powerful". Within thirty days, you yourself will surely notice a lot of little changes, all positive changes and just by doing this "MANTRA Meditation". You will surely notice its "miraculous healing powers awakening within you". THE INNER SANCTUARY The serious meditator has one corner of a room or a small closet as his own "inner sanctuary". In this room, you should have a small table - covered with a white cloth. You may meditate with a loved one BUT it is strongly advised NOT to meditate in large groups because your meditation will be influenced by their thoughts. THE POWER OF YOUR MIND The mind can give you all that you ask, providing you follow certain laws of nature. There is nothing mystical about this. Ordinary people from all walks of life have applied these principals and achieved their desired goals plus much more. THE MASTER PLAN 1. You must know what you want, you must say what you want, you must write what you want and you must visualize what you want. Decide precisely what you want, be absolutely definite: What exactly do you want? You must state exactly what you want. You must visualize it picture it in your mind - and hold that picture firmly before you. 2. In order to receive you must give. What are you going to give? 3. Your time limit must be feasible. You cannot expect it in five minutes. In (X) amount of months or weeks practically anything is possible. 4. What are you going to do to realize your ambition? 5. The written word is stronger than the spoken word BUT the two together are an unbeatable combination. Do you want more money? - Do you want to attract love? - Do you want to lose weight? - Do you want to eliminate bad habits? LET US REVIEW MASTER PLAN If you want more money you must state exactly how much you want. Do not say "I want about one million pounds". This is not definite or realistic. In order to receive you must GIVE. Are you willing to help less fortunate people? If you willingly give to less fortunate without expecting anything in return, if you willingly help the less fortunate, you will definitely receive much much more. This is one of nature's laws. Supposing you want to lose weight. Are you willing to exercise and control diet? Are you looking for a husband or wife? If so, are you prepared to do your share to make a success of marriage? Do you have any bad habits? Are you willing to try to eliminate them? Now that you have decided exactly what you want - write it down as clearly and simply as possible. At the end, write: "I will give that I may receive." Read this daily in the privacy of your room. Do not let anyone see your plan. As you read your MASTER PLAN, feel it and be positive about it. Imagine that your plan is actually within your grasp. Believe in your plan. Do not let doubts enter. By adopting this plan, you will drive the thoughts into your sub-conscious and your sub-conscious will help you more than you can possibly imagine. M. P. MEDITATION This meditation should be done every night for thirty (30) minutes. Re-read your written MASTER PLAN. This meditation is the same as your MANTRA Meditation except, instead of repeating MANTRA, you will now use your powers of visualization. 1. Inhale a deep breath to the count of four and slowly exhale to the count of six. Repeat five times. 2. Assume normal breathing. 3. Close your eyelids and focus your eyes upwards to the third eye. This is the point between the eyebrows directly above the bridge of the nose. 4. Let your chin rest on your chest, head relaxed downwards. 5. Let your hands rest easily on your lap, palms turned upwards as a sign of receptivity. 6. Make sure your spine is upright and also have the bottom of your feet resting on the floor thereby keeping you grounded. 7. Now, visualize your MASTER PLAN. Visualize yourself on a large screen. You can now see yourself on a large screen, see the screen surrounded in white. See all your dreams, all your goals on this screen. See yourself wealthy, slim or with a partner. Whatever your plans, whatever your desires: see them on the screen. What can you see? What can you smell? What can you hear? What colours do you see? The more you practise this visualization, the sooner it will become reality. The power of visualization is very real - THOUGHTS are stronger than words.** If, at first you are having difficulty visualizing believe you can and you will. Visualization must be practiced every day. People are unaware of its true power. If you are having difficulty, practice the following: Close your eyes: - Visualize an apple. Visualize the colour red. - Visualize an orange. Visualize the colour orange. - Visualize a banana. Visualize the colour yellow. - Visualize a tree. Visualize the colour green. - Visualize the sky. Visualize the colour blue. - Visualize a plum. Visualize the colour purple. - Visualize a violet. Visualize the colour violet. - Visualize a wedding gown. Visualize the colour white. If you can visualize any of the above, you can visualize anything. Believe you can and you will. We have discussed two meditations. By doing the MANTRA every morning and the VISUALIZATION every night, you are programming your sub-conscious to give you all that you ask. Nowadays many people think that money is everything. As long as one has enough money to feed, clothe and provide shelter, one should be grateful. We never have too much spirituality, we never have too much purity of thought and we never help others too much because in helping others we are helping ourselves. Now that you know the MASTER PLAN, it is suggested that you choose your desires with goodness for all as the main theme. The choice is yours. Choose wisely. DO YOU WANT TO READ MINDS? Here is a little exercise which will enable you to do so. Do you have a crystal? If not, a diamond ring with one stone will be fine. You need something that shines. 1. You are completely relaxed sitting in your meditation chair. You are holding the crystal in the palm of your hand. 2. The lighting is so low that you can barely see the outline of the crystal. You know that you are holding it. You know you can see "something". 3. Look into the crystal without trying to see anything. Look into the crystal as though you were looking in the far distance. (MILES AWAY.) 4. As you keep looking into the crystal, it will gradually cloud, and you will then notice white clouds forming. Keep looking. Suddenly, the crystal will appear to be full of milk. 5. This is the critical time. Do not jerk. Do not let yourself become alarmed. 6. Then, as if by magic, the whiteness rolls away - the same as curtains being drawn to disclose a stage. 7. The crystal has apparently vanished because you now see the world. You now appear to be looking down upon the world. You will have a sensation of falling. Do not be frightened. Do not jerk. Remain in control. (Otherwise, you will have to start again on a different day.) 8. Suddenly you are in a scene on earth. Regardless of the scene, do not be alarmed. No harm can come to you. Although you will not hear a sound, you will know everything that is being said. So it is that we see in clairvoyance. This exercise is easy providing you have faith. Even the sceptic will see results. Believe you can and you will. You will be able to see anything that has ever happened and anything that will ever happen. You want to make progress? Then you have to abide by certain rules - you have to keep calm, you have to take the middle road. Some people try so hard that they cannot "see the wood for the trees". Others are so lazy that "nothing at all is done". Go somewhere between the two extremes and your progress will be remarkable. DREAMS, WHAT DO THEY MEAN? Do you remember you dreams? The true meaning of your dreams will not be found in some book written by someone else. Within weeks, you'll be able to predict many events in your life simply by being aware of the true meaning of your dreams. If you have difficulty recalling dreams, mentally, repeat to yourself before sleep: "I will recall all my dreams upon awakening and I will also know their meaning". Repeat seven times. Keep a pen and pad beside the bed. Upon awakening, remain in bed, keep your eyes closed and jot down all major events in your dreams. If you have difficulty recalling dreams, think of important people, places or events in your life. This will often jog your dream memory. Whatever you remember, write it down. Many dreams will be easy for you to define because they will deal with your inner dreams, desires and fears. By examining yourself you will recognize these dreams immediately. Every night in your dream journal, record your day's activities, etc., the same as you would if it were a diary. By doing this you will soon learn the true meaning of your dreams. Certain symbols in your dreams will always pertain to the same meaning. This daily analysis will greatly enhance your ability to predict many events in your life. QUESTION & ANSWER Do you have a major problem in your life? A minor problem? If it really bothers you and you really want an answer, before bedtime mentally repeat to yourself: "Tonight in my dreams I will be shown the answer or solution. I shall wake up in the morning with full recall. Thank you." Repeat seven times. NATURAL MAGNETIC FIELDS The earth is like a magnet. It has a North Pole and a South Pole. You probably know that in the Northern Hemisphere, water runs down the drain in a clockwise direction and counter-clockwise in the Southern Hemisphere. this North-South magnetism also has a great effect on humans. Did you know that by sleeping with your head facing North and your feet facing South, your body requires less sleep or should we say your body will be rejuvenated much more with the same amount of sleep. If you are ever in a mild or serious difference of opinion with anyone, always try to be sitting or standing or whatever, on the north side of the person. This way you will win the argument or at least it will be a draw. Experiment with this North-South and then you will realize its true power. The MANTRA and VISUALIZATION programs are very powerful. It is hard to change the habits of a lifetime overnight. It requires discipline. This discipline will pay for itself beyond your wildest dreams - mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. While in altered states, secrets will be revealed to you but only when you are ready for them. Many psychics – mind readers - fortune tellers - whatever you want to call them have developed their abilities by following this program. MIND CONTROL – HOW TO COMMAND AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE THE STYLES AND METHODS OF MIND CONTROL Power is the ability to get things done - your way. Sometimes it's a direct order that you give, sometimes a suggestion you make, or a request or the asking of a favour; but the result (if you have power) is always that the other person acts and you derive a benefit from the other person's actions. One can have power in many different ways. You have it over your employees because you pay their salaries. If you are an expert in a special field, it's because you know the best way to handle matters. In a legal dispute it's because you have the law on your side. If you have credit cards, it can be part of your lifestyle to go into a store, hotel, or restaurant, in any city, and order whatever you wish. In politics it's because folks will give you their votes, hoping that you'll work and succeed in getting the government to serve them in their area. And there's the power that derives from being talented, charming and capable; of being up-to-the minute and knowledgeable, so people know if they let you handle things for them or listen to your advice, they'll come out ahead. One more aspect of power. This concerns competition. If all the world were fair and equal, one would have no need for the upper hand, for the advantage, for power. But of course the world isn't. Which often means that in a competitive situation you cannot merely settle for an equal chance. You must keep your eyes and ears, and indeed all you faculties, open for any clue or other tips that will move the balance in your favour. Whenever possible, make sure you get more than an equal chance. YOU HAVE TO LOOK THE PART People are impressed by how one looks. They are often not aware of exactly why they treat one person like a VIP and another doesn’t even get a second glance. Their reactions may be subliminal, below their conscious awareness. But take it from me, if you're well dressed, neatly groomed, hair trimmed, etc., and are driving a snazzy car, you'll be well received; while a guy who's wearing sloppy clothes, unshaven and unclean, and who's driving an old heap, will hardly get any attention at all. Look as good as you can; and back it up in other ways. Add the other elements of the power image too. Clothing - it's worth investing some money to be well dressed. Buy suits on time payments if you can (a credit card is very useful for this). That way the clothes are helping to get power, and therefore money, for you while you are paying for them. Don't forget about the car you drive around in; if the one you have is not impressive then rent one that is. Rental cars don't cost that much and driving a good one pays dividends in the power sphere. Try to join clubs and organization (business, social, political) that have important and influential members. If at first you can't become a member, then manoeuvre a member into taking you as his guest. Money and power beget money and power, the more they thing you have, the more you'll get. We must repeat that, for most people, those who belong to the power elite are those that appear to belong to it. Unless recognized personally, a millionaire will be turned away from a class restaurant if he's not well-dressed. You Have to Consciously Act the Part of One Who is Used to Being in Command There's another extremely important factor in appearing to already have money and power beyond what I mentioned above and that is your own manner of doing things. You must move, speak and act power. Have you ever met the grandson of a man who amassed a fortune and wondered how a grandfather who did so much could have a grandson who seems like such a weakling? It's true; that grandson could never get rich on his own; if he hadn't inherited his family's money, he'd be poor because he's weak and incompetent. And it shows. The men who, like yourself, are capable of making money now, are men who can act in a strong style that almost seems to draw money like a magnet. Language, and the way you speak , can say as much as the ideas in your words. Equally important however, is your body language, that is, the way you stand, walk, move and sit, and the gestures you make. BE THE MAN WHO IS IN DEMAND Power isn't just you being able to call someone and tell him what to do; it's also other men calling you and asking for your business or wanting to associate with you. If you're a man who seems to possess a wide knowledge of the world, an awareness of trend, if you're the early-bird who catches sight of opportunities first, if you're the man who's capable of handling many different kinds of situations, then people will seek you out. They'll invite you to vacation at their country homes, to meet their influential associates, to join their social clubs and their business syndicates. And when they do, all of these will enhance your image of power, and widen your power base so you can zoom in even more. WHEN THE FIGHT FOR CONTROL GETS HARDER Everything we've said so far will be useful in just about every situation; but when the struggle for power gets more intense, some other methods are needed. When the person(s) you're talking to has been open-minded and your powers of persuasion have been working from the moment you first started talking, the usual techniques can be used. But what if you're dealing with someone whose mind is closed to your ideas and influence from the start, or who feels he is in direct competition with you? Then things must be handled somewhat differently. Most important, be in control of the situation at all times. If you feel your control is slipping, do something to regain it, You could do something vividly dramatic and totally bewildering to the other person, like suddenly shouting or pounding on your desk. Or you could press a secret buzzer to have someone rush in and interrupt when the other side is coming on too strong. Never ever get into a power struggle when you're at any kind of a disadvantage; if you're tired or if the discussion turns to a subject in which the other guy is an expert. Always focus your own mental energy and project your thoughts into his mind. Look him in the eyes, try to gain his confidence. Always have a picture in your mind of a victory over this person bigger than the victory you need to achieve your aims. And whatever you do, don't lose; that is, if you realize that you can't beat him, then leave. It's better not to have victory than to have a defeat. SAY WHATEVER DOES THE TRICK Making a lot of money is largely a process of convincing people, of selling yourself, your service, your product. And the trick is to tell them what they want to hear. The problem is to find out what they want to hear. So you'll start out by giving them basic information about what you're selling. You then continue with your sales approach, always watching their reactions carefully. When you see their eyes light up and they then lean forward with interest, then continue on the topic that aroused that interest, no matter how odd it may seem to you. And do the opposite when you reach any of the usual parts of your presentation, if the prospect shows less than the normal amount of interest; that is, shorten that part and go on to the next. FROM START TO FINISH You start out by telling them what the product or service is or does. The kinds of benefits people get from using it and some examples of ways, both usual and unusual, that other folks have used it. It often helps to mention that "Mr. Anderson, you know, the big shot, just bought two of them for his own use", or that "the XYZ Corporation recently bought seven of them for their executives". Or if you're selling a more heavy duty item, that "Smith's Construction Company has been using them for years". If it's almost a custom made item, tell them they're one of the select few who will even get a chance to buy it. If you have an opportunity to talk to his wife or a friend of his, play along with that other person and have them unknowingly hinting to the customer that "it certainly sounds like a good deal". If his kids are with him, get them to needle him into buying it. Use any method that works. Suppose the guy seems convinced but he can't seem to make up his mind to actually hand over the money or sign the contract to make the purchase. Sometimes it helps to imply that he really can't afford it. He might buy it just to show you he isn't poor or a cheapskate. Another great strategy that sometimes works in desperation to close a sale is to make him feel guilty if he doesn't buy. Imply that he deliberately wasted your time and energy, the he's rotten and thoughtless, that he just wanted to make a phoney impression on his wife or girl friend or anyone who is there with him. You might want to say all this very loudly, almost yelling, so that a crowd gathers and you shame him into buying. Or you can try another method to clinch the sale, offer him a "special bonus". Say you'll give him a longer time to pay, or a contract for "free" servicing or that you'll add on a bonus of another item "free". Actually he may have been entitled to this "extra" all along, but if you haven't mentioned it, then now's the time. Try to keep one or two tings in reserve as your last pieces of ammunition. TO SUM IT UP Prepare in advance so you know the other man's point of view; if you're able to benefit him, he'll practically jump at the chance to let you make money off him. Tell him what he wants to hear. And above all, keep eyes and ears open for any information, clues or tip-offs, favourable or unfavourable, that will give you the powers to persuade him. In the power battle called life, victory will go to those who find the right weapons and use them. So keep your weapons handy; get a head start and don't lose it. Be alert for clues you can use to your advantage. Present yourself with confidence; broadcast your will power, speak and move with assurance, and, to make sure they get the message, have the clothes, car, office and the other outer appearances of power and money. People tend to believe what they see, and if you look like you've got it made, then you will have it made. HOW TO CONQUER ANY FEAR QUICKLY, EASILY AND PERMANENTLY When G. Gordon Liddy went on tour a few years ago to support his book "Will", North America was shocked by his strange methods for overcoming fear. He literally forced himself into terrifying situations in order to overcome his anxieties. While his methods may not have sounded too appealing to most of us, his practices were sound and based on known facts about human behaviour. But we don't have to be quite so forceful in our approach to our fears. There is a much less painful way of mastering fear, and this little known technique has other applications equally as exciting. The technique is called mental rehearsal. It involves living through a fearful experience in the mind. Try it now. Think of the most frightening thing you can imagine. It might be death, severe pain, even meeting Tom Cruise! You should notice your heart rate increasing. You might even get weak-kneed and break out in a cold sweat. At the very least you might feel your insides shaking. Herein lies the secret. Our fears are as severe as they are mainly because of the physical reaction we experience to our fearful emotions. By using the relaxation techniques mentioned in this collection, we can place our bodies and minds in a relaxed state and run through these fearful experiences in our minds with much less stress. The more often we do this, the more immune we become to the unpleasant sensations we feel when thinking about the experience, and the less discomfort we actually feel when faced with the real thing. The more vividly you can picture the experience in your mind while you are relaxed, and the more often you do this, the more effect it will have on reducing your fearful responsive in the actual situation. This technique works because your reactive mind, the part of your brain that makes your heart thump at the first sign of fear, cannot tell the difference between what you think and what you actually experience. Mind you, you cannot think as vividly as you can experience, so thinking about something will not be as effective as actually doing it, and then it's not as hard to do either. All this rehearsal won't be worth a thing unless you actually face the experience you fear at some point. So there's not much point in doing mental rehearsal of an airplane crash. Rehearse a smooth, or perhaps a bumpy flight, but not a crash, since you logically know your odds against crashing are very high. In the same way, there is no point in doing mental rehearsal of your marriage ceremony unless you are going to get married. Rehearse it in your mind to ease the stress, but do resolve to go through with it. That's the only way to really conquer your fear. If you've been avoiding something you want to do because of fear, and most of us are guilty of this, there is consolation to be had in this little piece of wisdom. It will never be as bad as we think it will be. And when you think about it, it never is. Mental rehearsal will help you go into the experience will instil even more confidence, and every additional time you go through the fearful experience you will be less and less afraid until you find it has become a totally natural experience to you. There is really no easier way around conquering fear. Hypnosis is actually an intense form of mental rehearsal when applied to fear, so we can't call it a shortcut. Some blood pressure drugs called beta-blockers have been used to suppress the physical reasons to fearful situations, and they appear to have some value especially for people who routinely face things that they know should not frighten them because they prove to these people that their fears are unnecessary. But we feel there is no substitute for doing it yourself, aided only by your own mental confidence and practice. Mental rehearsal can be used in a variety of other ways, too. When some people travel to countries where they must drive on the left, mental rehearsal actually helps them adjust faster and have fewer accidents. Athletes in all sports know the value of mental rehearsal in improving their performances, and any man whoever proposed marriage has surely put this to use, and probably with the effect of making them even more fearful than they would have been! HOW TO GET EVERYTHING YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE FIRST, be prepared to know yourself better. A serious appraisal of your life is essential to getting what you want. If you need to get to Pittsburgh by Friday, you've got to know where you're starting from. A serious self-appraisal may take weeks to complete. How well educated are you in the things you would like to know? How much effort do you put into each aspect of your life? What are your best and worst points? How do you choose your friends, your home, your job and your hobbies? How do treat your friends, family and strangers? How deep is your personal spirituality? You have hundreds and hundreds of special traits, but how well developed is each of them? Which of your traits are the worst? What have you accomplished over the past twenty, ten, five, two and in one year? In the past month? The past week? Today? Who have you hurt? Who deserves better than you've given them? And most important, how close are you now to where you hoped you'd be when you looked ahead a year ago, five years ago, or even as a child? Be prepared to cry a little as you make this appraisal of your life. Humans are far from perfect, and even the minor goals we set for ourselves are not achieved, and it can hurt to see exactly where you are. Draw upon every bit of serenity you have when making this appraisal, and always keep in mind you are on a fact-finding, not a fault-finding mission. Whether your strengths match evenly with your weaknesses on paper is not important. What you want is a written record of who and what you are in as great a depth as possible, a blueprint of your house which you can use as a base for improvement. Great people in every field start with such a deep analysis and revise it yearly to chart their progress, and the time and emotion spent in such an appraisal will be chicken feed compared to the value you will receive from it. SECOND, make a special report based on your self-appraisal and Include in the report everything you ever did which you didn't think you could do. THIS ABSOLUTELY VITAL! It will provide you with enormous inspiration when faced with a problem you don't think you can overcome. These are not only real-life success stories, they are your success stories, positive proof that there's more in you than you might think. These experiences are the batteries you'll use to power the shovels which will move mountains in the future. Remember, even an almost-dead battery will start a car. Have this report in writing and keep it with your personal analysis, and make a copy in case you lose it. This will be a vital document in times to come. THIRD, decide where you want to go. Most people fail because they don't set goals worthy of themselves. If they do, they do not live each day in pursuit these goals. This, and every other step outlined here, is absolutely vital to a truly successful life. When you set your goals, make them better than you've done before, but make them achievable. In other words, if it is at all possible that you or someone like you could achieve the goal, it is worthy. But don't set them too low either, or you'll be breezing through life, bored and unchallenged. Set goals for each day, for the next week, month, year, two years, five years, twenty years, fifty years (regardless of your age). Be definite about what you want. Write your goals down and use as much detail as possible. Make them firm... for the moment. You will find as you achieve certain things that some goals will have to change, and that's fine. Just don't go around changing your mind every time the wind changes or you won't know which way is up. Set as many goals as you like, and include among them - what you'd like to be doing, where you'd like to go, what you want for your family, what kind of person you'd like to be, how much you'd like to be earning, your net worth, your health, personality, education and spiritual growth. Keep your daily goals confined to activities which will lead to accomplishment of your long-term goals. Don't be afraid to set goals. Mistakes can be corrected; doing nothing cannot be corrected. The next step takes no real effort, and strangely enough, it is the most difficult step for the average person to take. FOURTH: COMMIT! Make the decision to achieve those goals, to strive for the things you want which will make your life and yourself all that much better. Make that commitment from the heart, not at the lips! It will take time to really feel that commitment, and regularly reviewing the goals you've written down will make it possible to truly feel that commitment. You'll go through agonies at first and wonder if any of this is really worth it, and that's the point most people give up. Remember this and you'll look forward to that agony. Every change comes with pain. It hurts to be born, to fall in love, to pass an exam, run a marathon. Once you start feeling that pain, know it for what it is - your old self screaming for life. Let your old self win and you lose! Once you pass through that barrier of pain between what you are and what you want, you will know what it is worth every bit of discomfort. You've been through it before, and you'll need the memory of past incidents where you've made it to help you get through it. You'll need the support of others, too. So you'll have to consider the people with whom, you spend most of your time. If they are not as interested in improving themselves as you are, it's time to expand your circle of friends to include those people, and make them the best you could want. Make your friends inspirations to you in your quest for a better life. The final step is so simple and so tough it literally separates the men from the boys who will never grow up. It means sacrificing immediate pleasure for real satisfaction down the road, so if you're not ready to make the trade, go back two paces. FIFTH: Spend every moment of your life in the most effective, efficient way possible in the pursuit of your goals. You'll never be able to do this as well as you will want to, but that's fine. Nobody spends all their time as effectively as humanly possible. The degree to which you can tune your desire to the things you want and discipline yourself to do the things that lead to getting them - will determine how successful you will be. Regardless of how weak you are now, you can and will increase the value your time and activities and garner more happiness than you might think fair only if you'll keep your failures in perspective. Think of them as lessons and gain something from them. Use your successes as a well of strength on which you can draw when you're ready to quit. These simple steps are the true secret to getting what you want out of life. It has been proven time and time again by great men down trough history, and centuries from now. The words may change, but the ideas will be the same. For centuries men have tried to find ways of making this simple set of guidelines more complicated and more difficult to understand and follow. Most of them succeeded admirably. Most got what they wanted by doing so. What they really wanted was less than they set out to achieve. Getting what you truly want is so difficult precisely because it is so simple. Humans are very complex beings and thrive on making things even more complicated. It might help to remember that the foundation of every religion, belief, system and philosophy that has worked its way to a culture and taken root is personal happiness. In every case, happiness is achieved by reducing things to their simple possible elements. BREAK OUT OF YOUR ROUTINE Do you feel drained and exhausted when you leave work for the day? Perhaps you need a change of attitude. There are a number of things you can do to recharge your emotional batteries at the office. Many times a change in routine can make a difference in the way a person feels both physically and mentally. Why not change a habit? Take a different route to work. Try a new restaurant for lunch. If you've fallen into a day-after-day habit of doing the same thing, break out of your routine with something new. Do some creative daydreaming. Spend time while you are driving to work imagining where you'd like to be five years form now, and how you might achieve your goal. Or mentally make some plans for our next vacation. Remember to keep polishing your self-image. Spend some time working on becoming a better human being. The more pleased you are with your self-improvement efforts, the happier and more successful you'll become. And in the process, don't forget the importance of controlling your emotions. When faced with a difficult situation, remember that you cannot control every person and situation, but you can control your own emotions and how you feel about something. Refresh you workspace. Add plants or new artwork to your desk area. Clean up and rearrange the space for more efficiency. Perhaps you can turn your desk around. Talk to others in your office about the possibility of adding soothing music and get their ideas for improving the working conditions. It may be possible to swap work stations with some other employees in your department or maybe even exchange offices. Exercise helps you psychologically as well as physiologically. Make time to swim, jog, do aerobics - anything to get yourself out of the office and into better physical and mental condition. Some people go for a brief walk to a park or shopping precinct during their lunch break. This is especially enjoyable if the weather is nice! Another thing you might try to make a change in a dull routine is to improve your relationships with others. Ask a colleague to lunch. Cultivate acquaintances in different area so your interests don't grow narrow and stale. Don't forget the abundance of reading materials. Stay informed and up to date by reading something new. If you generally read mysteries, try science fiction. If you only read non-fiction, try picking up a novel. Look for books that show different ways of looking at the world. Learn something new. Take classes (art or language lessons, for example) or do some volunteer work. You'll learn new skills, meet new people, increase your self-confidence, and maybe even pickup some useful ideas and tips for use at your job. You may be required to work with someone you can't stand or you may be assigned a task you really dislike. If you let your personal feelings get in the way, it will only hurt you and your productivity. Find something positive in the other person or concentrate on a positive outcome to the difficult situation. Think about the rewards and personal satisfaction you'll get for finishing the job and knowing you have done your best. BAD HABIT - YOU CAN BREAK IT IN A FEW DAYS If you have a nervous habit you'd like to break, don't pull your hair out. You can put an end to fingernail-biting or hair-twisting in a matter of several days - and you can do it on your own. The following 4-step plan will help you put an end to your nervous habit for once and for all. Recognize your bad habit. Increase your awareness of it by acting it out in front of a mirror. Try to keep track of how many times during the day you fall into your habit. Devise a replacement action. If you're a hair-puller, start carrying a brush and brush your hair each time you get the pulling or twisting urge. A nail-biter should learn to substitute filing his or her nails rather than biting. Bring your habit out of the closet. Advise your work cohorts and family that you are attempting to break your nervous habit. Ask them to remind you when they catch you falling into your habit. Learn to take it easy. Relaxation will help you put an end to a nervous habit. When you are too keyed up, your nervous habit takes over, so learn to do some deep breathing when you begin to feel uptight about something. A SHORT MEMORY COURSE HOW TO REMEMBER NAMES You just called the TV repair shop and the voice on the other end of the line tells you "this is Don Smith". About 5 minutes later you tell your wife that "this guy" will be out to fix the TV in the morning. You can't think of his name although you know he mentioned it on the phone. This happens all the time to just about any of us unless we have learned to concentrate and implant the name in our memory right at the time we hear it. To do this you first must make a habit of repeating the name back to the person. This action will remind you to store the name in your "Memory banks" each time you hear someone's name, and, within a matter of a short time the "repeating" process can be discontinued. When you meet someone in person use the same procedure, and in addition, visualize something different, unusual from the ordinary, or "ridiculous" about their appearance, position, or actions that "ties in" with their name. You may have to put the descriptive information on one side of a card or piece of paper and the name on the other side for a while until it is embedded in your memory permanently. Look at it repeatedly, see the "picture" in your mind's eye as you look at the name, or when you see the name visualize the "picture" you have assigned to the name. Getting this system to work will require certain changes in your thinking and it may take several days or several weeks to become proficient. After all, you have developed a "bad habit" over a period of many years and it is difficult to turn it around overnight. This method also works with anything else work remembering, not just names. When you have occasion to remember something, jot it down and incorporate it into your list . . . No complicated formula . . . Just a system that works with a little concentration. HOW TO REMEMBER ANYTHING! As mentioned above a person may train their memory by associating names with specific illustrations. This works just as well with written information. There are several key words or a key thought in each paragraph of printed matter that can be associated with an illogical or ridiculous illustration. It is much easier to remember and recall ridiculous associations than it is to recall normal and uneventful relationships. As you proceed through any text choose one or several Key words or key thoughts from each subject and relate the same to a ridiculous cartoon or illustration. Actually "see" it in your minds eye as it relates to the key word or key thought. When you have occasion to remember a particular matter, the "picture" should automatically appear to you and the entire thought should be recalled. Be sure to SEE the ridiculous picture associated with the printed matter you wish to recall. As you proceed through a book, practice seeing a picture and relate it to the key words or the main thought of the written material. This method of learning should improve your ability to retain what you read. With sufficient "practice" using this method, many individuals will be able to develop a "photo-type" memory. The Key to this memory system is to "see" the "picture" in your "mind's eye". After you have practiced and mastered the system and are able to get instant flashback recall you should be able to read most any text material and visualize ridiculous pictures to associate with the thoughts expressed in the printed materials. We suggest you prove this system to yourself. As you read the first several pages of information, "see" a picture related to the words or thought. It may be rather difficult to "see" at first but by constant effort and concentration amazing progress can be made. When you have seen the picture, just go on reading the following subject matter and repeat the process. Don't be concerned that you will forget the prior subjects! They should remain imprinted on your mind and recalled later, instantaneously and clearly. After you have read several pages, recall the first few "mind-pictures". If you originally "saw" the picture as related to the key thought of the printed material, you should remember the basic information. Try it! It's interesting! After you have mastered this learning system, it should be easy to file various programs away in your memory and recall them as needed to progress in your search for success. MEMORY AND PUBLIC SPEAKING TIPS The same system mentioned on the previous page may be used to memorize a speech by linking a series of thoughts to a series of ridiculous pictures in sequence. Proper preparation of your speech is half the battle. Know you subject thoroughly then make an outline for the introduction, main body and conclusion. Start your speech with something to startle your audience into complete attention such as a weird statement or funny happening. In presenting the main body of your speech get the confidence of your audience by letting them know you know your subject very well. Get your points across without argument. In making your conclusion you can briefly sum up what you have just stated then end with a big bang; recommending action your audience should take or suggesting they change their viewpoint on the subject etc.; finalize with a joke that fits the circumstances, or powerful word pictures they will remember after they leave the meeting. Make your outline in large print with plenty of space between lines so you will be able to look up without losing your place on the sheets. Rely on your memory for the most important points, including the opening and closing lines. Practice your speech with a tape recorder and in front of a mirror before the meeting. Work out any apparent speaking problems or things that don't sound just right. Know what you are going to do with your hands and determine the better body movements to go with your personality. Continually make eye contact back and forth across the room. Take time to think before answering questions. If you don't have the answer, ask another question, refer it to someone else better qualified to answer, answer in general terms, or change the subject (like politicians do) complimenting the person asking the "impossible" question, or by telling a "clean" joke. DEVELOPING SELF-CONFIDENCE Confidence is a feeling - an inner fire and an outer radiance, a basic satisfaction with what one is plus a reaching out to become more. Confidence is not something a few people are born with and others are not, for it is an acquired characteristic. Confidence is the personal possession of no one; the person who has it learns it - and goes on learning. The most gifted individual on earth has to construct confidence in his gifts from the basis of faith and experience, like anybody else. The tools will differ from one person to the next, but the essential task is the same. Confidence and pose are available to us all according to our abilities and needs - not somebody else's provided we utilize our gifts and expand them. One of the most rewarding aspects of confidence is that it sits gracefully on every age and level of life - on children, men, women, the famous, the obscure, rich, poor, artist, executive, teen-ager, the very old. And you can take it with you into old age. There is nothing more inspiring than an old person who maintains his good will, humour, and faith in himself, in others, in the future. Conversely, the root cause of old people's despair is a feeling of not being wanted, of nothing to contribute, no more to conquer and become. Most people have more to work with than they realize. One noted physicist calls this unused excellencies and finding and releasing this potential in ourselves is one of the major challenges of modern life. The great danger is not that we shall overreach our capacities but that we shall undervalue and under-employ them, thus blighting our great possibilities. The goal of life is not a problem less existence, which would be unbearably dull, but a way to handle problems creatively. That word "problem" may sound a little prickly, but it only means a question put forth for solution, and actually life consists of a series of problems-and-solutions, each different from the last. Confidence is delight - delight in living, in being who you are, in what you do, in growing, in the endless and sometimes exasperating adventure of what it means to be human. The teacher who delights in teaching has no time for bogging down in a swamp of doubt that he or she is doing it "right," and they are well aware that they can become a better teacher tomorrow, but only by doing their best today and enjoying today. So, too, the mother who delights in being a mother does not worry overmuch about whether she fits the rules. She is not the mother, after all, of something material but of a living child. Rules can often be a guide to successful living, but they are not a substitute for living. Rules never quite keep up with reality, because rules come from experience, not the other way around. Life happens, and it is infinitely inventive. It will always outrun and outmanoeuvre any attempt to bottle it up in a cut-and-dried system, for life is perpetual becoming. When life turns your wisest plans or best rules upside down, throw out the plans and bend with the circumstance. You will find powers you did not suspect, and possibilities undreamed of. Confidence is not always winning, not always victory. Indeed, it is that very quality in humanity which refuses to stay defeated. A kind of stubborn cheerfulness. Remember there are two things you can do with mistakes: you can run away and you can grow. IMPROVING YOUR SELF-IMAGE Do you have really down days? And what about those frequent bouts of depression? We all experience the blues or have one of those really "down" days occasionally. Do you get down on yourself and the things around you and feel that the whole world is wrong and you're right? Do you feel useless or physically unattractive? There are a few simple things a person can do to improve their self-image. By changing your negative thoughts into positive one, you can actually increase your business and social success. First you should take a self-image inventory. Jot down all the positive things you can think of about yourself. Also list the negative things. By listing what you like most and least about yourself, you will gain an awareness of your strengths - and our weaknesses won't seem so overwhelming. Change those things that you do not like about yourself. If you are like most people, your list will contain comments like "I smoke too much," and "I'm too impulsive." In almost all instances, the negative traits are habits which can be changed. Many times we allow negative thoughts to influence our actions. Negative thinking doesn't do any good, it just hold us back from accomplishing many of the things we are capable of. When a negative thought creeps in, the best way to deal with it is to remind ourselves of the positive aspects in your lives such as our strengths and talents. While we may not consciously be aware of it, a negative attitude can affect our self image and the way we feel and think about ourselves as well as the people around us. Some people say that a trip to the store or mall gives them a lift. You can always buy yourself a new article of clothing or some other treat. Consider it a reward and tell yourself that you are rewarding "you" for some of those past accomplishments no one else seemed to notice. How good a salesman are you? You need to work at selling yourself. When you focus attention on your best qualities and bring them to others' attention, you reinforce your feeling of self-worth. Remind yourself or your areas of competence. Forget about the past shortcomings. Many of the things that contribute to an individual's poor self-image are relics of the past. It is never too late to bury the past. And remember to keep polishing your self-image. Spend time working on becoming a better human being. The more pleased you are with your self-improvement efforts, the happier and more successful you'll become. And in the process don't forget the importance of controlling your emotions. When faced with a difficult situation, remember that you cannot control every person and situation, but you can control your own emotions and how you feel about something. As an example, you may be forced to work closely with someone you do not like or be asked to do a job you dislike. If you let your personal feelings get in the way, it will only hurt you and your productivity. Instead, find a positive trait in the other person or concentrate on a positive outcome to the difficult situation. Think about the rewards you may get for finishing the work early or doing an exceptional job. That way you can turn a negative emotion into a positive one. SHYNESS - FOUR STEPS YOU CAN TAKE TO OVERCOME IT If shyness is keeping you from establishing warm, rewarding relationships, your problem is curable. Overcoming shyness involves finding out just how shy you are, and very gradually learning to reach out to people. In the end, you will be a more popular and successful person. To determine the extent of your shyness, put a handful of beads in your left pocket in the morning. Each time you find yourself saying something negative about yourself, put one of the beads in your right pocket. If by the end of the day you have ten beads in your right pocket, you definitely have a self-image problem. Step 1 Try improving your appearance and keep up-to-date with current events. You will become more interesting and this will improve your problem of putting yourself down. Do the bead trick for a week, and see how you can improve. Step 2 This step involves beginning to reach out to people in safe situations. Try to relax when you are out in company, and practise listening to others. Don't worry what people might think of you, just listen and seem interested in what they're saying. Look right at people when they're talking to you. Reach out with a smile. Observe others and imitate their ways. Try to use body contact, such as shaking hands to break the ice. Now you are well on the way to breaking out of your shell, so you can go on to the third step. Step 3 Start communicating with others more. Try to initiate conversation, perhaps with the person ahead of you in the supermarket line-up. This will give you good practice in social skill. Make the effort to tackle a situation you would normally find unbearable, like speaking to your boss or enrolling in a drama class. Now, finally, you are ready for the fourth and final step. This involves reaching out to people for the pure joy of it. Step 4 Accept invitations to parties, and mingle once you're there. Stay positive when you're talking to others; compliment a person's appearance. Now that you've completed all four steps in overcoming your shyness, you'll be happier and much more successful in winning friends. 20 QUESTIONS Find out just how shy you are by taking the following quiz. For each of the statements you feel is true, giving yourself either one or two points. One if you'd be willing to admit you think it's true to others, two if you feel it's true, but would only admit it to yourself. Give yourself zero for statements you feel are false: 1. I would rather listen than speak. 2. I know less than most people. 3. I feel most comfortable talking to kids (or animals or plants). 4. Most social activities are a drag. 5. Popular people are born that way. 6. I can talk to people if I want to, I just don't want to. 7. Small talk is boring so I just don't bother. 8. I don't know how to strike up a conversation. 9. My personality makes me quiet. 10. I don't have to talk much on my job, so I'm just out of practice. 11. There's no point in talking; people never listen anyway. 12. People never take to me when they first meet me. 13. I'm quiet because I don't come from a family of talkers. 14. I guess I'm just a loner. 15. Self-confidence comes naturally to some people, not to me. 16. I'd talk more, but no one ever wants to talk about serious things. 17. Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words. 18. I don't like classes which involve discussions. I'm paying to hear the professor lecture. 19. People are always jumping on my ideas. 20. Most people talk without thinking. By the time I think what I want to say, it's always too late. Count up your points. A score of ten or more indicates that you could be a happier, more successful and fulfilled person by overcoming your shyness. HOW TO LOOK AND FEEL YOUNGER Luckily for us in this day and age, we all look much younger than did people our age fifty, or even thirty, years ago. The great advances made in our knowledge of nutrition and their application by most of the population are in part responsible. The same factor has a lot to do with our feeling younger. Another contribution to our ability to look younger is our increasing knowledge of how to use makeup, clothing, cosmetics and other things to help achieve our ends. Your philosophy of life is the most important single factor in determining the way you look and feel. It is, after all, the basis of everything you do, whether you've consciously formed such a philosophy or not. One cannot exist without it, but many people are unconscious of having one. First, decide what's important to you and what isn't. This philosophy of yours goes into every area of your life and affects every member of your family. It should, therefore, in most instances, be a family-shared thing. You and your husband and children can well work out a family plan for living together. Some families would rather leave a bit of dust on the furniture and under the rugs if it means they can have junkets together to the beach in summer and the skating rink in winter. Others would rather never go anywhere than occupy a dusty house for one minute. Each attitude is very much the business of the person who adopts it, though frequently neither person has the slightest understanding of the other. In our quite proper eagerness to look and feel younger, do not let any one of us lose track of the fact that maturity is a condition greatly to be looked forward to and desired. Maturity is a state of mind. It does not mean old age. It can happen to people at almost any stage of life. And immaturity is a sign of a lack of development for the chronological age one happens to have achieved. When you reach maturity you are self-disciplined, thoughtful, understanding, self-confident, and most of all loving - of yourself and other people, despite acknowledged faults. The way you decide to keep your mind lively and stimulated is up to you, but do realize that the best way is to encompass as must of the world around you as you possibly can. One of the best ways to be stimulating and interesting and thus attractive and desirable to others is to decide what work you'll do in our community - and do it. What about your participation in community activities? In other words, it's an absolute certainty that there are all sorts of interesting things going on around you; to become involved in them will not be at all difficult and will add variety and spice to your life as well as to that of others. There's another characteristic of youthfulness - optimism. You needn't be a Pollyanna to be optimistic. You need only to have the happy faculty of looking on the bright side of things, which is really a habit of mind. Pessimism puts wrinkles in your forehead, draws down the corners of your mouth and makes you very unhappy, usually for no reason at all. Looking and feeling younger is first of all an attitude of mind. But it is a great deal more than that. You might try to just think yourself younger in appearance and in spirit and find that nothing much happened at all. It takes real work and enthusiasm in a variety of areas to gain the end results! HOW TO UNLOCK YOUR WINNING POWERS According to a number of the country's leading psychologists, we can all unlock our winning powers. Four important steps as outlined in this report are the keys to unlocking this inner powers. Everybody loves a winner - and you can release the winner in you by following this simple four-step plan which is based on positive thinking: 1. THINK LIKE A WINNER, AND NOT A LOSER: Emotions are like muscles, the ones you use most grow the strongest. If you always look at the negative side of things, you'll become a downbeat, pessimistic person. Even slightly negative thoughts have a greater impact on you and last longer than powerful positive thoughts. Negative thinking doesn't do you any good, it just holds you back from accomplishing the things you want to do. When a negative thought creeps into your mind, replace it by reminding yourself of your strengths and talents. 2. START LIVING TODAY: What's done is done. Everyone has gotten a raw deal at one time or another. Don't be so hung up on what may have happened to you in the past that you lose sight of your future. Get on with your life... starting now. 3. DON'T FEEL GUILTY: Fretting over past failures only wastes energy that you could be channelling in other directions. Instead, focus on what you have accomplished, even if it was something small. Allow yourself to be human, be realistic in your expectations most people put a greater expectation on themselves than they should. 4. TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS: When you are faced with a difficult situation, keep your emotions in check and remember you can't control every person and situation, but you can control how you feel about them. For example, you may be forced to work closely with someone you don't like or be asked to do a job you dislike. If you let your feelings get in the way, it will only hurt you because the job won't get done properly. Instead, find a positive trait in the other person or concentrate on a positive outcome to the difficult situation. Think about any rewards you may get for finishing the work early or doing an exceptional job. That way you will turn a negative emotion into a positive one that will help you to reach your goal. COPYRIGHT 2003 X FACTOR / ………... Reproduction in ANY form or manner is PROHIBITED, unless authorised by the HOLDER of this COPYRIGHT or by a CERTIFIED AGENT