GRATITUDE MONTHNovember is once again upon us. It is gratitude month here in the EA world. What are we grateful for? How do I show gratitude each day? Am I grateful for the responsibility of keeping the Service Center open to those who still have emotional problems? It has been a difficult year for many of us. We can all understand that financially times are very hard. If it is hard for us, imagine the difficulties the Service Center has to pay it’s bills when the funds from members have slowed to a trickle. Yes, the organization is paying its bills. In order to do this, we had to reduce hours for the staff of the Service Center to help our budget to a place where it is fairly balanced. But, we can cut no more without surrendering many of the things the staff does to keep the message of the EA program going around the world. If I am living in recovery, no matter at what level this recovery is, it has to be better than where I first began. That is something to be very grateful for. If I get up and get dressed and function through the day and am reminded of the 12 Steps, 12 Concepts, 12 Slogans, 12 Just For Today’s, and the 12 Promises, I can be grateful that I have been given lots of tools to make better choices for the day that I am in than I had before I began recovery. Yes, the responsibility of keeping the doors of EA open rests with each one of us. We have been given hope, love, and understanding by the tools that are wrapped up in the EA program. The Service Center is the lighthouse of our EA program. People come, ask for literature, and start meetings because they were able to find us. The choice is yours…it can only continue to happen if we dig a little deeper and share a bit of our recovery with those who are still stuck in the darkness of emotional problems. Paul H, President, EA Board of Trustees To give a gift of Gratitude, click here. EA Connection Your monthly newsletter from ISC—November 2009 This month I would like to talk about Gratitude, for many of us, without this simple program of recovery, would be in very dire straits. I have heard over and over about the miracle of EA. EA is important to all of us; we need it to continue to have a life which makes peace and serenity possible. In order to have this program, we also need to talk about finances. Group donations are down by 45%, and individual donations are down more than 75%. EA needs your support if we are to continue to spread the miracle of EA. We have more than 500 subscribers to the EA Connection, and 460 subscribers to our listserv—EAnon. If you all gave a little or a lot, our potential finance disaster would disappear. November is Gratitude Month; please show your gratitude. What we give away always comes back in one form or another. In this case, it might be growth in the program and that sense of fulfillment when you give back. To give a gift of gratitude, click here . Karen M, Executive Director Of Importance to EA Groups A clarification of the ordering of PDF’s: When you order a PDF, it is still copyrighted material. If you want to make 10 copies from a PDF, you should order 10 copies, we will send a PDF that you can copy from. The real advantage in ordering your literature as a PDF is that you pay no shipping. Although shipping is only 15% in the US, it is a minimum of 35% for shipments to other countries which can make a great difference in cost. A PDF will also be there the same day, there is no waiting for delivery. We hope you will use this convenient tool. Please see “2010 Convention News” on page 4 When I first showed up at EA ,it was in search of what my spouse was getting from another 12 Step program. I didn't qualify for that program, but when I heard of EA I couldn't deny that I qualified. I knew from her experience that the 12 Step way was difficult and long-term. I also knew that it worked and I had some emotional problems for which nothing else had worked. In short, I had what I now call the "Keys to the Door". I have attended many hundreds of meetings, gone to many national conventions and read all the 12 Step literature I could get my hands on. I have learned about Willingness and Acceptance at levels I had never imagined. I am still learning. Today my focus is on Service. I finally have something that other people in meetings tell me they want. Most days I have my share of Serenity and I have a Program that gets me through the rough spots in a matter of days rather than months or years. I also understand what long-timers were talking about when they told me early on that they were glad that they hadn't settled for what they were looking for when they went to their first meeting. The benefits just keep expanding. Now my goal is not just Serenity but being Happy, Joyous and Free. In short, this is not easy, and if I stop going to meetings and doing the Service work I do I will miss out on some even larger benefits. Has it been worth it? Yup. I did what they were doing and I got what they had. I want more. I pass this on because people were there at my first meetings and they passed it on to me. That's what we do. Tom F, Trustee-at-Large Special Gifts and Memorials EA gratefully acknowledges gifts and memorials received during the past month. There are no memorial or special gifts to report this month. We continue to be thankful for past gifts. OUR EA TOOLS C ONCEPT 11: E ACH PERSON IS ENTITLED TO HIS OR HER OWN OPINIONS AND MAY EXPRESS THEM AT A MEETING WITHIN THE GUIDELINES OF EA. WE ARE ALL EQUAL - NO ONE IS likely to have problems with. I cannot listen when I am busy trying to solve a problem, nor when I am answering an e-mail, I cannot listen when I am busy being in control. I can only listen when I stop my busy mind and let God do the talking. So, Just for Today, I will be openminded and listen to the God of my understanding...Anonymous MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANOTHER. When I read Concept 11, it helps me know that I can belong in EA. It helps me know that I am not less than others or better than others. Seeing myself as an "equal" is very important to my emotional well-being. So many times, before EA, I saw myself as less than others, as defective, and I felt others looked down on me because I had emotional problems. I love feeling that I am equal, and I really strive to see that I treat others who come to EA as "equal" just like me, and they are not less than, nor better than, but "equal". I pray to see not only people in EA as equals, but my other fellow humans, too. I pray for acceptance, compassion, understanding, forgiveness and love. I trust my Higher Power will help me with those...Mary Ann JUST FOR TODAY 11: I WILL NOT COMPARE MYSELF WITH OTHERS. BEST OF MY ABILITY. I WILL ACCEPT MYSELF AND LIVE TO THE than usual, because I could sort out what was necessary or not for this purpose. I left home earlier, and had a good cafe latte watching people passing by. This allowed me to feel treated nicely by myself, and consequently to be nice to others. Accepting myself brings me to accepting others, and accepting others leads to accepting myself much more again. This circle helps me to come up from the bottom and to reach out to people for help. It is amazing to realize how the program works for me. ...Yoko, Japan STEP 11: SOUGHT THROUGH PRAYER AND MEDITATION TO IMPROVE OUR WE UNDERSTOOD GOD AS HIM, PRAYING ONLY FOR KNOWLEDGE OF HIS WILL FOR US AND POWER TO CARRY THAT OUT. CONSCIOUS CONTACT WITH I have heard that "prayer" is talking to God, and "meditation" is listening to God. Neither has to be done in a formal setting. I can talk to and listen to God at any time. I can ask for his wisdom and guidance in my life at any time. Usually the talking to part is easy; God help me with this writing; Bless those that I love and care about; and, Grant us some sense of peace on Earth. It is the listening part that I am more This is a very good reflection for me. It helps me see that I have come a long way. And also that the danger still lurks in my shadows. In my work, where I work with four other therapists, the temptation to be seen as "the best" or at least "as good as" rears from time to time. It is so very important to give my best—whatever it is that day—rather than to try to out-perform someone else. This is especially true when seeing someone else's client. If I give my best, that is what I am there for. I cannot duplicate someone else's treatment. I cannot use the strength of a 30-yearold as a 52-year-old. By comparing my work to someone else's and thinking about what they might do, I lose my ability to focus on each individual client's need and letting Higher Power guide my hands. I close the intuitive communication. And then I really am not giving my best...Maivis Recently, I tried to figure out what my first thing for the day would be before I got up. It is very hard to concentrate when half asleep, but I try. Yesterday, the first thing for me was having a good cup of coffee before getting to my job. Once having made up my mind, it was much easier to get ready SLOGAN 11: KEEP IT SIMPLE Doesn’t it seem like even the tiniest problems become complicated once we start to dwell on them? Our minds take over, probing for information that isn’t there, attaching our emotions to each issue, and making problems seem more daunting than they are. The Serenity Prayer offers us a solution: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference.” We have two options— accept or change— when faced with a new challenge. We must call on our Higher Power for the wisdom to know the difference. If it’s something we must accept, we simply turn it over to our Higher Power. If we must respond or change, we ask for the courage we need to pull apart the strands of the problem and take action on what we can. Life isn’t easy, but it is often simple. Let’s keep it that way. It Works if You Work It, page 78 EA TOOLS APPLIED TO: ACCEPTANCE MY JOURNEY I remember at the beginning of this new journey of mine in early March how I tried to force-feed positive thoughts and affirmations. It didn’t work. Then I tried to force-feed gratitude. I couldn’t see anything to be grateful for and when I would write down the obvious (my family, the sunshine, etc) it didn’t connect with me. It felt phony. It was only once I accepted my negative, frightened feelings that I seemed to be more at peace with them and they changed towards acceptance, serenity and non-resistance all on their own...Sophie ACCEPT WHAT YOU LIKE AND LEAVE THE REST As we were closing my f2f meeting Saturday I read the following: “Accept what you like and leave the rest.” This reminded me that I have heard this phrase quite often lately; however, because I cannot remember reading these words in the EA Big Book, the EA “It Works if You Work It” book, the AA Big Book or the AA 12&12, I began to wonder what I was supposed to leave. Can I leave any of the 12 Steps? No, because if I do I will not be working the full program. Can I leave any of the 12 Traditions? No, because these are “policy” statements covering many aspects of our organizational life. Can I leave any of the Concepts? No, because these clarify many issues which could otherwise get me in difficulty when talking about the Program. Can I leave any of the Just For Today’s? No, because they give me some specific actions to take in my attempt to overcome my emotional difficulties. Can I leave any of the Slogans? No, because each very succinctly reminds me of some good aspect of the Program. Can I leave any of the Promises? No, because they are not for me to accept or reject; instead they are “new attitudes and feelings” that come to me as I progress in my Recovery. I may not have had all of them come true in my life yet, but it is not up to me to throw them out. It is up to me to work my program as best I can in the hope that, with the help of my Higher Power, they will come true for me. So then, what can I leave? Oh, wait a minute—the preceding sentence says: “In closing, we would like to say that the feelings expressed here were strictly those of the individual who related them” and then “Accept what you like….” In other words, if I have heard some comments that are useful to me I can take them with me. If what I have heard is not useful to me, I can leave it behind. But I can’t leave any of the Tools of the Program, or parts thereof, behind. The Tools are there to help me recover...Ron OPENING THE DOOR It was only through acceptance that I opened the door for change to occur in my life. Acceptance is surrender. Surrendering to the facts at hand for today. As our literature states, it doesn't mean I have to like those facts, but just acknowledge the truth. In Step 1, I acknowledged and accepted the fact that I had problems—later I did the same, fully understanding I had emotional problems. I surrendered the fact I could not change all by myself—had tried that for years and failed. So upon finding this 12 Step program, I was offered a solution for my problems. That solution was to find the God of my understanding inside me, clean house and then help others. The acceptance and surrender required to do this took a little longer because I tried to analyze how these steps could possibly work. At that time I was still running my show, trying to think my way into becoming someone different. It never occurred to me that was part of the problem. It was my best thinking that got me where I was in life— miserable! It was suggested I give it a sincere try in applying each of the 12 Steps to my life. So, I did. The change came gradually for me as it does for the majority of us. And, boy, did I change!...Anonymous 2009-2010 EA Service Board of Trustees Region 1: English-speaking Canada Muriel D—Email:
[email protected] Region 3: CO, IA, KS, MN, MO, NE, ND, SD, WI, WY Mary Jane L—Email:
[email protected] Region 4: AL, AR, FL, GA, LA, MS, OK, PR, TX Nancy P—Email:
[email protected] 905-723-2035 218-363-259 Secretary 404-377-0277 General Service Trustee Tom F—Email:
[email protected] 607-272-0406 Trustee-at-Large General Service Trustee 450-588-5461 Gilles M—E-mail:
[email protected] Vice President Nonmember Trustee Judie H—Email:
[email protected] 612-822-8190 Region 6: DC, KY, MD, NC, OH, PA, SC, TN, VA, WV 330-244-8720 Paul H—Email:
[email protected] President Region 7: CT, DE, ME, MA, NH, NJ, NY, RI, VT 603-624-8455 Ex-officio: Executive Director 651-647-9712 Karen M—Email:
[email protected] Harold F—Email:
[email protected] Region 8: French-speaking Canada 450-586-6688 Denis L—Email:
[email protected] We do not currently have a trustees for Region 2 or Region 4. Please feel free to contact any trustees listed should you have questions, concerns or just want to touch base. We are in the process of rearranging the regions and will keep you informed. EA EVENT INFORMATION It is with regret that we inform you that we do not currently have a home for the 2010 Convention. The chairperson has become ill and the area groups do not feel they can do it without her. The board of trustees is looking for a solution. We hope to have some solid information for you by our next issue. Your thoughts or ideas are welcome…..Karen Mead, FROM YOUR TRUSTEES: Coping with the Holidays We find that the holidays are stressful for many members, and we always have our meetings when they fall on holidays. Toronto EA meetings do not have access to their meeting place on holidays, so they post an alternative meeting on their web site, sometimes a coffee shop meeting or even an activity like bowling. We are never alone...MD Keep your expectations modest. Don’t get hung up on what the holidays are supposed to be like and how you’re supposed to feel. If you’re comparing your holidays to some abstract greeting card ideal, they’ll always come up short. So don’t worry about holiday spirit and take the holidays as they come...RH About the middle of November I start using the slogans double time. They help me release tension. There are always so many things to do, places to go, people to see and rich food to eat. That's why: One day at a time, first things first, this too shall pass, and keep it simple—keep me sensible during the holiday season. Thanks, EA...ML We try to have special holiday meetings with special themes, for instance for Halloween we had meetings on masquerades and fear. Costumes were optional. We also have a potluck to which members contribute...HF We encourage groups to get together socially during the holidays. The Atlanta Intergroup has an annual Christmas party, hosted by the same family every year. It is pot-luck, is a big hit, and well attended...NP The more I work this program the more I realize that a major source of Recovery is other people. Yuck! When I started I was convinced that they were the source of my problems. What is changed is that I have changed some of the people in my life and, most importantly, changed how I deal with people. Giving more and demanding less and somehow getting much, much more. As we come to the Holiday Season, I look forward with joy thanks to the Recovery I have. What a miracle…TF Emotions Anonymous PO Box 4245, St Paul, MN 55104 Phone 651-647-9712 Fax 651-647-1593 Office hours: Monday - Friday 10:00 am to 4:00 pm www.EmotionsAnonymous.org
[email protected] [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Thinking of the Holidays? There are many EA items that would make great gifts, including medallions, our EA bear, EA logo shirts or any of our books. We have found that the Today book is well-liked by all, whether they are in the program or not. Order online, by phone, or
[email protected]