You'd be really surprised (stunned really) if you spent a few years on the NYC doc review "circuit." There are people from all kinds of good schools: NYU, Emory, Fordham, Columbia, Penn, etc. But mostly it's Brooklyn/St Johns/Cardozo/Seton Hall/Rutgers kids- I'd say about 70% are from those schools. Kids from top, top schools usually make lousy coders. For example, I sat next to a guy on an O'Melveny [Meyers] project who I named "Dr. Smell-Good." He wore those Kenneth Cole dress boots that were popular about 8 years ago, but didn't wear socks with them. He'd take them off throughout the day and his feet smelled horrible. He was an NYU grad and got canned from a big firm in the downturn. He was literally boiling with rage at the doc review "lifestyle"- he didn't care for being berated all day and talked to like a 5 year old (which is how doc review just "is." For example, like 20 times a day there are "annoucements" and such and everyone has to move their chairs in a circle and "listen up." It's kinda like prison, but in a funny way. Once you've been on a few gigs you get used to the game and don't really notice anymore how downright sad and degrading this shit is. Poor ole Dr. Smellgood wouldn't have any part of it. When he told me he went to NYU and I screamed out "you went to NYU and are working HERE? With us losers?" he said "don't say it so loud" and "i'm not a loser, I used to make six digits." I tried to help him get on the beam, but this guy was grinding his molars down to nubs he was so angry at all the typical BS, like having to sign out to use the bathroom and not having soda at your desk, etc. Also on Fridays the temp agency usually brings in free pizza, but one coder has to act as "pizza monitor" because things usually get out of hand with the free grub and all. There are rules like only one slice at a time and no "seconds" until everyone has had a slice. Also no "hoarding" slices for your friends who are out smoking or asleep at their desks, etc. Dr. Smellgood would bitch and moan that he felt it was like kindergarten, etc etc. I got kinda scared he was gonna bring an AK-47 to work and take us all out in a rage. Luckily that case settled one day at like 10 am and we all got sent home- they even paid us until 12 noon, which is rare. Another dude from Yale was called "fade out" because he would just kind of babble in this soft voice about random shit and look around to see if anyone was listening. He was big on JFK assasination trivia and crackpot theories and such- he would usually get canned pretty quick because he was just too far out to be a somewhat productive coder. There was a really funny Asian chick from I think Cornell who I worked with at Lexolution, which is an agency with its own doc review workspace on 40th st. She brought like half her apartment to work: she had a coffemaker, all kinds of plates/mugs/cups, real silverware, little desk gadgets etc. Mind you that we sit at Bingo-hall type tables all packed one on top of each other, so your neighbor is like a cell mate. So one day she shows up with this little electric space-heater to use under her desk. She plugs it into a power strip and BAM!- blows out the electric for the whole room! It was beyond awesome. The super for the building was stuck in NJ so we got paid to sit there all day in the dark and do basically nothing. I'll answer any other doc review questions you have- ask away. -----------------The dude was a 100% legit Yale grad. He was no kid- this guy was in his mid 40s at least. I think he had some sort of nervous breakdown at another Biglaw firm where he was actually an associate. As I said, he was a really weird dude and pretty much had little to no grip on reality. One time he was washing his clothes in the break-room sink and talking about how "big cotton" had JFK whacked because he was going to ban DDT. He was one funny dude. He always wanted to have a beer with my crew, but he was a little too weird to hang with outside of work. You see, Sullivan [Cromwell] used to kick the coders $15 a day for food if you worked/billed more than 11 hours in a day. We'd usually head over to White Horse Tavern and just drink up the money (they had $2 McSorleys) and usually someone like Holbs would bring coke and everyone would do a bump or two, then head back to Sullivan with a nice buzz and fart around in the basement until like 2 am telling "chuck norris facts" to each other and maybe coding a document here and there. "Chill and bill" was the name of the game. Sullivan was like an ATM Machine for TTT grads to loaf around at, and you could easily make 3K or more a week if you wanted to sit there until 2 am every night. Here's a funny story- this one really preppy dude "Pat" from a good school has once been an in-house counsel at some large company, etc. Somehow he "washed out" and ended up down in the SullCrom cellar with the rest of us TTT losers. So one night at like 1 am this associate came down and asked if anyone was willing to go upstairs and vaccum/clean up the large conference room. Some geek partners from SullCroms London office were on their way from JFK for some zero-hour deal and the big conf. room was a mess from some reception earlier in the evening. All the cleaning crew were gone for the night, so it fell to the coders to go up there and clean the mess. So me & Pat volunteered and went up there and cleaned up all this dried-up food, empty glasses, papers, and other rubbish. It was pretty funny to think back on my law school days, hoping to have a nice career and actually amount to something in life. Instead I'm on the 30th floor of SullCrom at 1 am cleaning up garbage like a janitor. If you can't laugh about it, you'll quickly end up committing suicide. It kinda sucks having no idea when Plus you do boring. He also did push-ups like every hour under his desk. and sit-ups too. and also are scared shitless of the partners who are really. One thing to remember about doc review is not to bring anything you care about to work with you. in 2008 I was getting $45 an hour on a Dechert project doing priv. etc could just sign up with the agencies and get on a gig quick. he just downloaded Bob Dylan bootlegs all day and burned them on to CDs. Also many of the projects now require 2 or more years of "electronic discovery" experience. You see. Plus we were getting $45 to do priv log and they put is in a seperate room. which had all the best downloads and was always lording his demonoid password over everyone so we'd kiss his ass. eat them at his desk. miserable dead-end work for hour upon endless hour with no hope of promotion. Now that same gig is paying $30 flat. which was basically anything other than work. plus all the student loans and having to pay your own CLE and bar dues. etc. I worked with some strange. I can't imagine having to deal with her on an ongoing basis." They were jealous of our room and would try and loiter around in there and pretend they were priv loggers too. Gone are the days when any mouth breather from a TTT like Brooklyn. They have awesome snack machines where you can even get cereal and the snack machine pours the milk into it from a little spout. advancement. Hell. but not anymore. if you'll get another one quickly. NYLS. Projects are few and far between and rates have fallen to 25-30 bucks an hour in NYC and hours are usually capped at 40. or positive career development. the associate actually sat in their room and wouldnt let them talk or surf the 'net. He never looked at any documents.your project will end. really nasty people. but our room was unsupervised so we could do whatever we wanted. strange people at Dechert. no health ins. I actually had to interview with the partner before the priv log project and she was one nasty old witch. It was f-ing gross. log work. He was a member of demonoid. 'Bozo. what to do if you get sick (as i said. So this coder I'll call "JJ" would get his Rice Krispies in the morning. We got $10 an hour more than them so they were pissed at that too. because when the project ends you are not allowed back in the building. I don't recommend Dechert because their associates love to read verbatim from the training manual for hours on end. but the minute your project ends you gotta go on Cobra which sucks too. for temps). At least doc review used to be an easy way to make decent $$$. Usually it works like this: You . and then brush his teeth at this desk and spit the toothpaste into the empty cereal bowl and leave it there all day. The non priv log coders were in a big room and called our room the "bullpen. Also you get no health benefits since you're just a temp. You can buy a shitty plan from the agencies. So you'll leave work at say 9 pm and as you're walking to the subway the agency calls and says "Sorry. We used to roll up there as a gang and play "Price is Right. at Paul Weiss they have a really great cafeteria called the "Jury Room. or start screaming/crying/yelling.there were like 10 witnesses to this fact) goes up there to get a soda. So the next day the agency guy comes into the basement and says we can't use the cafeteria anymore. you're getting your spit on the soda fountain. provided it doesn't get tossed or stolen in the meantime. etc.it was a little card that they punched each time you used it." They gave the coders $10 a day in credits to use in there. ---------------------- I will have to say that. coffee etc are all free in this cafeteria. etc. they have security bring it down to you. so the game can get dicey if you start loading up with croutons and such. It can get very messy. or being scanned/loaded. the glass had like mayo and shit smeared all over it. etc and once you're off the property the agency calls and tells you "game over. the project is over. because many of them are insane and will download viruses into the computers. but he's pressing on the little bar that makes the soda come out with a glass he'd already used and had like slobbered all over. Some things like salad are sold by weight." So if you left your stuff up there." See. in many cases. I have done over 30 temp projects in NYC and every time you get canned it is after work and done via telephone. I eat my steaks Pittsburgh rare. For example. So they lie and tell you there are more docs coming. the doc reviewers don't do themselves any favors by usually abusing. or otherwise f-ing up any little privileges the firms give them. So this old lady next to him says "did you already use that glass.if you did that's gross.oops. The agency said we would get a non-taxable $10 added to our checks so we could . You can see where this is going. exploiting. You can just grab a cup and have as much as you want." In this game you have to get as close as possible to the $10 food limit w/out going over (cause you have to pay out o pocket if you exceed the $10 food card limit). The prices in there were cheap. Turns out she was a partner.have no docs for 2 or 3 days and the associate claims he 'doesn't know anything' but that more docs are on the way." It was kinda gross. I ate the steak every day and it was always very tasty and often downright delicious. they can't tell the coders face to face the gig is up. This one really dirty guy we called "ShitFingers" (because he never washed his hands after taking a dump. and the grill guy got to know me and called me "p-burg" and always made my steak just the way I liked it. So ShitFingers gets into this huge argument with her and they have it out there at the soda fountain (most of these coders have bad tempers and get offended at the drop of a hat). The sodas.they have a grill section and you can get a small delmonico steak with 'fixins for about $7 (this was in 2005). At Sullivan the coders have their own bathroom. the SullCrom cellar was like a 5 star hotel. which was pretty dirty too. Anyway. After Paul Weiss.we had to use the public bathroom in the Rock Center. That makes a lot of sense.hello street meat. because the minute you did you could jump to a SullCrom gig which paid $32 an hour plus OT. Even ShitFingers thought it was a little too dirty. would you want a dirty old TTT coder coming upstairs to use the firm's associate-level facilities? Of course not. and they had this big reception table set up in the lobby with 'Welcome Class of '08" or whatever. My project was starting the same day that the SA class was starting. all over the floor. Sullivan thus gives their coders their own little basement "world" which they never have to leave. It's kind of like "steerage" on those old ships.there is a really good Halal food cart at 56th st and one day her and her film crew rolled up and offered to buy everyone in line lunch who let her cut in front of them. even for him. In real life she is literally like 4 feet tall. It only had one stall and a homeless dude named "Bones" pretty much lived in there and would holler "i'm in here motherfucker" every time you went to take a leak. So we couldn't use the Paul Weiss bathrooms. Goodbye delmonico steak.hell. So everyone started using the Heartland Breweries bathroom." The SA's looked at us like we were . Most everyone there was waiting to get admitted to NY. down in the bowels of the building with the furnaces and HVAC equipement. and was at SullCrom the day after getting NY Bar admission up in albany. etc. and even a little kitchen to use. They were even crawling inside the computers and such. the place got infested with cockroaches. Because of that we only got $21 an hour.get food from outside. in the printers.you didn't have to be admitted to work the gig. So Paul Weiss had the place roach-bombed and the day after the dead roaches were everywhereon the keyboards. break rooms. The only good thing about this is that we got to meet Rachel Ray. We were in the basement under the Rock Center. I went up to the table and told them I was there for the doc review gig.they actually told me to wait outside and they'd come get us when the SA's had cleared the lobby! God forbid a TTT grad contaminate their little party! Later in the day they took all the SA's to the basement (i think they were getting a grand tour of the firm) and the associate was telling them "these are all just temps. Pretty gross. I got admitted right after the roach bomb. that was a JD project. With all the food garbage from like 200 coders eating down there. The other problem with getting banned from the cafeteria was that everyone was now eating at their workstation. It was really funny one day about 3 years ago when I was starting a gig at SullCrom. I forgot to mention that we weren't allowed upstairs period after ShitFingers pissed off the partner with his soda fountain debacle. She was also smoking a cigarette. it's a nightmare dealing with injured . Chairs are a big. but the gov't agency I interned with did not have any openings when I graduated. but when $$$ ran low I registered with the temp agencies and got into Paul Weiss. If the staff attorney or supervisor moves your seat for talking too much or causing problems. Big mistake. Most of the time the backrest or the swivel (or both) are broken. You know those "Green Mountain" machines with the little one-serve pods? Being dirt poor. Did an intership both summers. you have the right to take that chair with you to your new workstation. unless it's something funny. so if you end up with a decent chair you hang on to it for dear life. since the furniture is all pretty much garbage. Also do not write on the menu. ever. I sent out tons of resumes. You see. Another problem are those "one serve coffee" machines that are often in the break room. etc. so people are very fussy about keeping the "rare" menus in the folder. there's a real pecking order as to who gets the "best of the worst" when it comes to chair allocation. I have literally seen fistfights start over people trying to nab chairs that didn't belong to them. or other hovel they stick you in (manhattan office space is pricey and why waste good $$$ on space for TTT loser temps?) On big projects you literally sit elbow-to-elbow with each other. So usually all that's left for coffee is like Dark French Roast Decaf and other crap flavors. ----------------------------------------- I graduated in 2004 from an NYC Tier One school with a 3. with everyone so cramped into small spaces and tensions all flaring up." and the popular flavors like hazelnut will often vanish the second the case/box is opened.sometimes a wiseass newbie will try and switch his chair with a "veteran's" chair if he gets their early that day or something. Then the partner at the PI firm got disbarred and the other PI firms wouldn't interview me because of having a "stain" like that place on my resume. That firm was so miserable I seriously thought about suicide and basically started drinking and doing drugs to cope with stress and depression. the coders are prone to "hoarding. You also have to use the beat-up old furniture from the 1970s that really belongs in a dumpster. big deal. furnace room. So my only substantive experience was basically worthless because it came from a place where a guy was getting disbarred for all types of sleazy shit. Then I did a couple Sullivan Cromwell gigs and left temping for a personal injury firm where I worked as an associate for 45 K and no health benefits. because if you lose it it's the only one we had. In doc review you work at whatever spare broom closet. usually in a file cabinet or under document boxes. There are certain Chinese restaurants that rarely give out menus. etc.it's part of the "unwritten code" of the temps. for up to 16 hours a day. Its very much like prison. it was degrading in kind of a funny way though.animals in a zoo or something. That's because some coders will take like 50 of them and hide them near their workstation. I was in the personal injury firm for about one year.1 GPA. It is very bad form to take that menu from the folder to your desk. Another big thing is the take-out menu folder. I didn't really like that type of work anyway. I had to keep deferring loans and really couldn't survive on the low salary. other crappy childish rules like that. etc and get all other kinds of stool pigeon software to abuse and monitor the temps. Basically my "career" has been nothing but dead-end temp jobs and working for a scumbag firm." which means you double-check the work of the regular coders on some sort of random audit basis. Doc review wasn't too bad in terms of $$$. so I might take an English teaching job when we get there. and also waited tables and did other non-legal jobs between projects. --------------------------Another funny thing about doc review is that you can get "promoted" on long term (like 3 or 4 month projects) to QC (quality control) or "second level review. it's simply impossible for me to "start over" in this country and change careers. Usually you get this QC "promotion" by being a hot chick or. She is a former ballet dancer and has an offer to dance with a company in Turkey. But the firms wised up to this and can now see how much time you spent on each doc. I've accepted that my legal "career" so to speak is beyond dead. Why struggle to pay for another 25 years for an education I'm not even able to use? My hunch is also that things are going to get far.you have to check it in with the front desk before going to your worskstation. At this point I'm pretty much a ruined shell of a person. You are in no way a "professional" or accorded any respect or dignity on these gigs. lie about the hours. With the debt.people and if you can't bring in cases you're pretty much topping out at 50-55 K for a salary. and plan on moving abroad with my fiancee so we can escape my massive student loan debt and start over elsewhere. far worse in the USA over the next few years. not constantly falling asleep . and terminate people with no warning by calling you at 11 pm to say the gig is over. alternatively. It was great b/c you could do like 100 docs in 10 seconds and then surf the Internet or bullshit for the other 59 minutes of the hour. That way you can't just "green light" the shitty or non-existent coding of your friends (you see. Sometimes I really do wonder how things turned out so bad.this is where you hold down CTRL and just mark a whole batch of docs "non-responsive" w/out even opening or reading them). So I went back into temping for another 3 years or so. and dead-end temping is the only legal job I'll ever have any chance of getting. but you have to accept being treated like complete and utter garbage all the time. so it's probably an ideal time to run for the exit. It's too bad student loans can't be discharged in bankruptcy. On many projects you can't have your cell phone with you. there used to be projects in the more primitive days of software where you could "batch code". I'd gladly resign from both bars I'm admitted to for the chance at a clean financial start. They lie about the project length. would you trust TTT coders with anything potentially important? enough said). etc. and she starts going utterly batshit crazy and says "This guy is a terrorist. and like 500 things plugged into one outlet. This chick in particular had a reputation for being really aggressive.and/or drooling on your keyboard." Gahndi's docs looked like random grafitti or modern art or whatever. I can't fucking stand him. ball-joint type bases (remember those?). his redactions were over parts of the page that were blank to begin with. He does and the doc is displayed on the screen sideways. etc). It helps not to cause all kinds of problems either like complaining the room is too hot or chewing up all the pens. etc. apparently Gandhi had zero experience using computers. in case you haven't noticed).they spin the "Wheel O' Coders" and your number pops up. but coders aren't always the most helpful or cordial people. It was mounted on one of those swivel. One day the staff attorney tells me to go help this old bald Indian dude who called himself "Gahdhi" (like prison. according to him. So I go to his workstation to see what's going on and have him pull up a PDF doc. most people in doc review have "street names" while on project. Sometimes it's just plain dumb luck. and for some reason she had like a hundred Bic lighters all over her work . He was a really nice guy and was saving money so he could retire in India. but you often will get to hang on a few extra days after the gig wraps up to finish any stray docs and double-check docs that might actually be responsive (though almost none are. everyone sits elbow to elbow and there are wires all over the place. which isn't exactly great news when your job involves using one 16 hours a day. Before I could tell him that he didn't need to move the monitor upside down and shit. I guess it never occurred to her to investigate why Gahndi turned his monitor extremely sideways like 200 times a day. His real name was impossible to pronounce unless you have a certain kind of tongue or something. So I was on this huge doc review for a pharma tort case and somehow got promoted to QC. Furthermore. all of the PDF docs that Gandhi was doing redactions on were seriously screwed up. So the screen of the chick next to home goes dark. Bigger problem is. so something was seriously wrong. with like half the page blacked out. I tell him to rotate the doc and Gandi grabs hold of the whole computer monitor (this was pre-flat screen) and starts trying to turn the entire rig sideways. His wife was already over there scouting out houses.he does this like 50 times a day! " She was livid and said 'he shouldn't fucking be here if he can't use a computer" and things of that nature. somehow the wires from his monitor unplugged the computer of the chick sitting next to him (as I said. According to the staff attorney. Rather than "redactions. You don't get any extra $$$ to be a QC coder. I think one guy even has his LSAT score on his card. These randomly aggressive incidents are actually pretty common on doc review. and the whole situation was becoming a huge scene. It wasn't unusual. so it wasn't really as big a deal as it would be at a normal job. He was threatening to report her to the staff attorney for racial slurs. Member of the Bar. There isn't a coder alive without a stack of cheesy Vista-Print business cards with all sorts of official titles and such like "Law Office of Thomas Montgomery Coder. It got out of hand pretty quickly and Gandhi starts marching up and knocking on the staff attorneys door. etc. Gahndi got really offended that she called him a "terrorist" (this was back when the Iraq war was still big news and such). It gets depressing after a while seeing these fools carry on this pathetic charade on project after project. About a week after I started working there the secretary printed them up and . I got the computers back up and running and like 2 minutes later the staff attorney comes out and calls the chick into the office to get her side of the story. These cards are of course for their "side practices. but it was probably like a 149 or whatever. Then like 2 minutes later the aggressive chick storms out. They were all gnawed down like those toys you give a gerbil or whatever. Attorney and Counselor at Law. In fact. The only time I ever had business cards was when I was an associate at the personal injury shop. our practices are in the same building" and act all important for a few minutes. King's Bench. Anyway. I crawled under the table to try and get the wires plugged back in while the two of them were having at it. We're talking heavy Stage IV alcoholism here. Another funny guy on this project we used to call 'Sloshburg" because he showed up for work reeking of booze every day." It's like some kind of closet "prestige injection" for them. my definition of "normal" is now so screwed up I could probably never return to any type of legitimate office environment. and how as soon as it came through he was leaving doc review for good.table and used to chew on them. One time he came back from lunch all lit up and started turning the lights on and off and like "breathing on people" and such. Master of Chancery. Many coders suffer from what I call "Willy Lohman" syndrome. Juris Doctor. What's really funny is that almost all of them use the same Regus mail-drop company in NYC as their "office address." and when they swap cards they'll say things like "oh. etc. and rolls off the project." which involve getting their brothers/moms/ realtives etc. and they were those cheesy ones from Staples that come on perforated cardstock sheets to print yourself. Esquire. He was always bragging about this million-dollar injury case he was "this close" to settling. grabs all her lighters and shit off the table.their grip on reality and their place in the economic pecking order is just totally lost on them. out of speeding tickets and other occasional rinky-dink stuff. apparently. says "Fuck you" to me. a maid/nanny. It was depressing hanging with them. Those years and memories he will never get back. and were all technically "lawyers. but she just didn't "get" it. So yes." Yet I would never be anything more than a deadend lackey at the firm. because he struck me as someone depresssed to the point of suicide. the case was (from what we were told as temps) about some audit of all these complex credit-swap "deals. on the Dechert case where I did the priv. It's not that I'm jealous of people like them who make the big $$$. So one night I got drunk and told her how we were NEVER going to have anything. I really do hope the $$ is worth it to him. She was like "oh. like a dispenser. They offered to get me in their as a staff attorney on a doc review gig they were running. even for the associates. just . I'd carry the whole sheets in my little briefcase and if someone wanted a card I just ripped one off the sheet. They both absolutely despised (not just merely hated) their jobs. For example. and that will give a rough idea of how boring most Biglaw cases are. addendums to the agreements. It was kind of handy. The training session for this was the day before Thanksgiving 2008. which was going to last over a year. etc and couldn't afford to quit. My ex-GF grew up in Manhattan and her two best friends (a husband and wife) worked there as 4th year associates. won't it be great to work with Mike and Kate at a big firm?" She had no idea (and they were too nice to tell her) that I was going to be in the basement and have no future at the place. The dood told us he hadn't slept in like 4 days and was going to miss Thanksgiving for the 3rd year in a row. the worst thing about the legal industry is how mind-numbingly boring the work is." Each deal had a code name like "Peachtree" or "Applewood" or other fruit-inspired names. ------------------------- Nah. really. and we sat in a small conference room with the associate from 9:30 am until 10 o'clock that night going over a huge Powerpoint presentation all about the tri-lateral sub agreements. a 4th class loser on par with the janitor or restroom attendant. but as usual got way overboard with a huge apartment. etc. she dumped me shortly thereafter. I tried to explain this to my non-lawyer GF. and the best I could ever do was probably 65-75 K a year and no health insurance. the pain of not "making it" in this industry can indeed bleed over and ruin almost every aspect of your life. Since she wanted kids.000. This associate was like 29 going on 60. log. etc etc. It sure did for me. I actually had the chance to become a "perma-temp" case analyst at Weil Gotshall. Take the most boring thing you've ever read or done in life and multiply it by 10. since we all graduated law school the same year (albeit they both from Columbia).left a stack on my desk. Toward the tail end of my coding career. hence their constantly running back to these temporary doc review projects to supplement their meager incomes from their own "practice. They were very nice people and never in any way condescended or berated me in any way." NYC and NJ are really just too saturated with lawyers to make a go of it as a solo. I can't really afford to "start from the bottom" and make 25-30 K a year in another business or industry.I did settle a sexual harassment case for my sister's friend for 18 K last spring with a letter and half dozen phone calls. and that lowlife TTT coders like me are not offered associate positions no matter how many docs you code. I already have loans in default and there's really no way out of this mess. They don't understand that doc review is transient work. only 4 had attorneys with them."awkward" since they knew damn well what I was and the type of "lawyer" (if that's what you want to call it) I would always be. the general public have become enamored with the idea that lawyers are provided free to everyone for every problem. . very hard unless you already have a "spare" 50 K or so laying around for google adwords or your own sleazy TV commercial. with substantial student debt. but of course had no $$$. but there isn't much of a market (esp. From TV shows and such. bar dues alone are $375 for NY and $400 for NJ. and I'm too ground down by this industry to sit another bar and relocate to another state. you can't go up to people in court and ask them to hire you. in this recession/depression) for people with no useful business experience. I was scraping by last year doing re-fi mortgage closings for Quicken Loans. Even personal injury. and a resume with about 30 different temp jobs over 5 years time. Plus. I covered a traffic court appearance for a buddy yesterday and. is really. but a new loan manager took over for NJ and now they send notaries for $50 to cover the closings rather than $150 for attorneys. At this point it just isn't worth it. Hell. and they wanted to discuss their cases." you know? -----------------------I have tried [careers outside the law]. But to get enough cases like that to earn a steady living is very. but that sting is just always kind of "there. really tough nowadays. a TTT law degree. businesses & people are phasing out lawyers wherever they can. More and more. A couple people actually did ask if I was a lawyer. and often ask "why were you never made permanent anywhere" and things like that. Non-legal employers don't understand the world of doc review.it's against the ethics rules and can get you in trouble). The typical newbie solo gets only drips & drabs. plus another $300 for CLE's. of the 200 or so people there. and fight to the death over all the herniated disc cases and such. once the "golden ticket" for TTT grads. You can do OK with employment law. (And no. The carriers will NOT settle any car accident cases without bone fractures. etc. The runner gets paid a "commission" based on the quality of cases he/she brings in. To play this game you have to have enough cash to get the "medical reports. So when the accident victim calls. but mostly it gets ignored. Update Legal. You can see now why associates in this area are paid almost nothing: they don't bring anything to the table." The runners do this to people they "know" will not think it's anything unusual.Another thing I forgot to mention is that most firms make you sign a paper before you start the temp job which states you may NOT put the firm's name on your resume or do anything to make others think you actually worked there. Getting the . that's the 5 minute primer. God forbid a bunch of TTT grads were shopping their SullCrom or Paul Weiss resumes around! Instead. he calls the PI lawyer and offers him the case. dive bars. Here's how it works: the runner gives an accident victim the lawyer's card with a $20 bill wrapped around it and says "call that # and you'll get another $100 later today. Lexolution. How the hell else do you think some solo in Brooklyn or Queens you've never heard of makes big $$$ doing PI? Hardly anyone ever gets caught. If someone is treating at a walk-in clinic and the "doctor" learns they were in an accident. And as I said. etc. The firms want to make damn sure some TTT'er doesn't soil their name by putting it on their garbage resume. Bingo. ambulance drivers. But there is much less chance of getting busted. The other way these places get cases is by paying sleazy "medical mills" in the outer boroughs to "refer" cases to them. it's business as usual for NYC/NJ personal injury. like someone who's homeless or otherwise not very educated (most of the really good cases come from very poor urban areas. The catch is that the fee for the "medical reports" (wink wink) vary based on the injury. and has them sign a retainer. So for anyone considering a career in personal injury law. you are only allowed to put the name of your temp. This isn't some TV show script. etc) and the duration of the project. the lawyer sends another dood out to the hospital (or their apt. my only substantive experience was in personal injury law." which is more expensive than paying runners. It's really sleazy shit and most of the clinics are run by Russian mobsters.they get a case worth thousands in lawyer fees for fronting the client $120 bucks. For sprains and soft tissue cases. gives them the $100. nurses.housing projects. Understand that most injury lawyers who don't advertise on TV bribe "runners" to get cases for them. about twice a year the AG's office plants some undercover folks in the ER to catch a few ambulance chasers.like hospital orderlies.and also tend to not wear seat belts or have cars with airbags). or house if they've been discharged). for a fracture it can be like 3 K or more. agency (like HireCounsel.they tend to have more accidents since they frequent places which are in bad repair. it's usually 1200-1500 bucks. So to get a callback you have to do everything possible to fuck up their voicemail. A week later I was going thru the mail and the CEO of the insurance company had sent this nasty letter saying how his employee was abused and called a c_nt and a b_tch and all these other names. The per-diem trial guys get a 1/3 curt of any verdict they get. No lawyer in their right mind would let a young associate do a trial. It's a volume business.case is all that matters: the "legal work" is mostly cut and pasted stock pleadings and depositions where you try your best to get these illiterate. insurance adjusters get paid crap and usually have like 20. often crack-addicted clients to put some kind of coherent story together about the puddle of urine they slipped on at Roy's Billard Hall or wherever. which rarely happens) you have to "Jam. The "typical" auto or trip n' slip case you just scrounge whatever you can from the insurance company and move on. "Wheel of Fortune?" . lol). He was a real character. which is 5 K or more. Trials are very. as that's the only way to make $$$. like leaving the same message 100 times in a two hour period. And this money is coming from the firm's pocket since these are contingency cases (YOU DON'T PAY UNLESS WE WIN!. You know that trick where you substitute a __ for a letter in a curse word? So I show it to the boss and all he says is "this asshole needs to learn how to spell cunt. What does he think this is. You see. Usually the trials are "farmed out" to a stable of silver-haired shysters who are very slick at getting juries to open the floodgates and get a huge payday.000 files to handle.he left all the letters and shit out. and leaving the same message like 10 to 20 times in a row or until the mailbox is reported full. My old boss was such a prick that he had a police whistle he would blast into the speakerphone after leaving his voicemail messages.you've all seen the commercials. because when you guy to trial you have to pay for the doctor upfront to testify. One other time he started swearing at this one poor adjuster and calling her a cunt and things like that because she wouldn't settle some fender bender case.you do this by leaving your phone off the hook after leaving your message. so you can pretty much never get one on the phone. Then when they called back all deaf and pissed he'd say the insurance company must have a shitty phone system and he'll help them sue for their hearing damage. I forgot to mention that on "office days" (when you don't have court or depositions." " Jamming is when you call an insurance adjuster on some bastard "no-pay" case as many times a day as you have to jam their voicemail box full. very rare and mostly are reserved only for VERY high value cases (like 200 K+). Oh. He was later prosecuted for like 200 counts of fraud and now resides in Attica. since they know they won't be able to place them on a project. and for the poster who asked if law students can get these gigs. it is not paid at time and a half anymore. In fact. Finally some judge or another lawyer smelled a rat. In fact.Oh. I have never been placed on (or heard of) a project that accepted law students. This is perfectly legal under the "professional exemption" to the NYC Labor Laws. and no overtime. -------------------------------There is no "guarantee" of contract/temp work in doc review anymore. which is a bit upstate lol." They also usually require some type of Biglaw paralegal experience. At his disbarment hearing he tried to claim he bought the ruler at Staples and it was "made wrong at the factory. So this clown had a special fake ruler made where one inch was really one half inch. the answer is no. etc. While there are some projects that require only a JD and not bar admission. Since cost of living is lower in these areas. NC. Or if there is overtime. like a week or two. Once in a while a project will be labeled "junior level. most agencies will not even allow recent grads/bar passers to register with them anymore. thanks to outsourcing and the recession." That dood was like a legend in NYC personal injury. When projects do pop up. so he'd roll into a deposition or court settlement conference with photos showing a two-inch separation (which of course was in reality only one inch. The market is just beyond abysmal. Also I said earlier. the rates have plunged from $35-$40 an hour down to $25$30 an hour. they usually are VERY short-term. there was this other hilarious shyster that used to be friends with my boss. Non-JD projects are usually marketed/listed as "paralegal" projects and often state "No JD's please" or "admitted attorneys need not apply. an unlevel sidewalk slab must be at least 2 inches apart or it's considered "de minimis" and you can't get any $$$ for the trip n' fall. NY. almost every project now requires 2+ years of "electronic discovery" experience." so a new grad might get on the gig. Sometimes they're even as short as a couple days. but these projects usually pay $19 to $22 an hour. and his office got raided and turned up the fake ruler and tons of other nefarious frauds. NYC took a big hit also from "domestic" outsourcing of doc review to states like WV. they pay the temps as little as $17 an hour. What's sad is that para projects don't really pay much less than . if that) and settle the cases for whatever he could get. He was smart and knew the city were too lazy/incompetent to actually send someone out there and take their own measurements. and he'd photograph the defect with the fake ruler next to it. I'll begin by saying that under NYC Sidewalk Law. ." you know: always in a loud color like pink or bright green.projects which require bar admission. there was this really creepy older skinny dude who. I'd never before seen a coder who went to the restroom with just stocking feet. immediately upon getting to his workstation. and had like gold glitter lines and shit on them. for example Wilson Elser pays about 65 K starting. There is also no bonus. right? About 2 days into the gig I go to take a leak and here's this guy yakking on his cell phone in front of the urinal wearing nothing on his feet but those socks. -------------------------------Oh. So after that my crew started calling him "Piss Feet" behind his back. . It's probably not worth repeating since the bi-modal salary distribution is common knowledge. they require Biglaw type billable hours for that $$$. Also they were stitched so there was a receptacle for each individual toe. C'mon now. one where like 500 coders a day are pissing and spitting all over the bathroom floor? He was literally standing in a soggy puddle of urine with nothing but those socks on.. would peel off his shoes. There are some exceptions. But this guy wore these "pedophile socks. I almost left out the best story of all. but nowadays they mostly want people with 2 years experience and can get them for that price in this market. Also. Weird. So on the big pharma review project (Seroquel). and more likely south of 50 K. chances are excellent that whatever job you find (at least in NYC/NJ) will pay south of 60 K. But that's not the funniest part. That's not terribly unusual in itself. are a complete embarrassment. The value of a non-Top 14 JD has plunged down to levels that. One day we roll on to the job at like 9 am and there's a message on the dry erase board that the URL to get your documents has changed. since obviously w/out it you couldn't pull a batch of shit to review.. but understand that if you miss the biglaw cut at OCI. The staff attorney made like 10 announcements that day to look at the board for the new URL. since a lot of coders kick off their dogs since you're sitting for like 16+ hours in the same chair once you get to work. Apparently the firm had switched software companies or whatever. who struts around a public restroom like that? Esp. Around 7 pm that night the staff attorney does a routine "cruise by" (kinda like a warden makes the rounds in a prison) to make sure everyone had docs and was actually working and not screwing around. quite frankly. my machine is broken. Piss Feet was never seen again after that evening. She says "hey man. you know our URL changed today. So she rolls by PissFeet's station and he's sitting there in his piss-socks reading a paperback novel under his desk. agency lingo being "rolled off the project. much less doing any work. or give any feedback or criticism. Civil Division. So she says: "Piss Feet. this shit is much more like prison culture than any sort of "career") So she rolls up on PissFeet and catches him red-handed with his nose in a Stephen King book. She says "PissFeet (real name omitted). I myself got canned several times for being a general asshole and troublemaker. "about 11 hours ago. etc. there was a project on Rector Street that was actually pretty cool. We'd use code-words to tip each other off if we were bullshitting with a neighbor and the guy with his back turned didn't see her making rounds: on this gig the code word was "apples." If you had your back turned and were in the middle of a story and your neighbor said "yeah. So to make a long story short. As I said. or "you were rolled off this project-it wasn't a good fit" (i. I like those apples" it was a cue to turn back towards your screen and look busy ASAP. the dude didn't even have his computer turned on." Did I mention this guy looked and talked just like a stock child molester from a 1980s sitcom? What a fucking weirdo. We got $30 an hour from an agency called "The Dine Group" to code docs for a construction . on doc review there's a dry erase board in each room and. you're told at orientation to check it every day for updates and new rules. I haven't been able to pull a batch since 9 am today. etc. like a preschool.etc.didn't you hear the announcements and check the board?" He says. This gig was for the NYC Law Dept. "oh. It's always either "the project ended" (true). For example. is there something wrong? Why aren't you doing work?" (I forgot to mention that this gig was uber-Gestapo style and there was basically zero tolerance for blatantly screwing around. "what is your problem? Don't you have a batch?" PissFeet says "I'm sorry. right?" He plays all dumb and says "It did? When did that happen?" She says. I didn't know we had to check the board ourselves?" Mind you. Hell. you were canned for being a retard or troublemaker).e." They never come out and say you got fired. It's called in temp. I started taking like 200 cigarette breaks a day since my buddy Holbs had just been to visit from New Hampshire and dropped off like 20 cartons of Parliaments his girlfriend had shoplifted from the smoke shop. then went to see a movie. And every time I'd leave the room. You could say she took great offense to it.lawsuit case involving the new Bronx Criminal Courthouse. So one morning in front of everyone I asked if she grew up in a "double wide" down in Armpit. Always bragging about hanging at "Corner Bistro" and fighting off all these I-banker suitors. I was lucky. at the end of the day." such as it was. as I saw it. . She also had sort of an annoying personality. sneak beers and shit into work. She called me aside like 20 times and lectured: "you're stirring up trouble. There was hardly anything else to do. which was a big deal at the time. being a southerner. so winning for once was a really. you smartass" and "I know for a fact there's more documents coming." It was like 12 below zero outside. Gallows humor and all. it was a complete fantasy world she'd spun for herself. really big deal. so everyone was trying to stack as much $$$ as possible since Jan/Feb are usually very slow for doc review work. if there is a later" and.. Queens with another loser coder. and everyone was waiting for the ax to fall. But Carrie Bradshaw. Like most coders. We were the talk of the coder community after that score. It was great. So I went to lunch thinking nothing of it. So when the docs really began running dry. I'd say "see y'all later. and BAM. So the staff attorney on this gig was a good ole' Southern belle from Tulane who really wasn't very hot.good old "Dine Group" agency calls before I cleared the lobby and says I was "rolled off the project. etc. fuck her. Also my seat-mate and I won the New Yorker magazine cartoon caption contest. if there is a tomorrow." The old brag-a-rino.. "see you all tomorrow. Docs were few and far between. It was right before Xmas 2009. Arkansas or whatever and she got royally pissed. we'd smoke pot during lunch. Chick was a 6 at best. that's why I'm the staff attorney.. didn't really find the humor in it. effective immediately. It was the best feeling I've ever had in my entire life. She really thought she was better than us regular coders because she went to Tulane. She really thought she was a "Carrie Bradshaw" (that's what I called her) even though she shared some dump studio in Astoria. The gig was just about done. But soon we started running low on docs on this gig. She was in love with her pathetic "authority. There were lots of cool coders on this gig. so I went to Blarney Stone and mowed a huge corned beef sandwich. We spent like 90% of the "workday" on that. Guess Carrie Bradshaw had some major juice to get me canned that quick." Things like that. etc. Easier just to re-program the combination when . personal injury "clients" are mostly dirt poor. Prying apart incoming motions to plunder their office supply content." That's how they rolled. When he's done I ask him if he has any exhibit tabs. motions stacked up the ceiling. or in like windowless D-class Manhattan office space (mine was the latter). He looked at me like I'd asked him when my new Ferrari would be ready to pick up from the dealership. garbage pretty much everywhere. then pulls a bent flathead screwdriver from the desk drawer and proceeds to pry the Velotext binding apart. since turnover there was so high that he'd have to change keys about 6 times a month if it had a regular lock. So I roll in and X is screaming on the phone at some angry crackhead about her trip n' slip case and why she hasn't "got paid yet" and the typical ranting & shit. and asked the boss where the exhibit tabs were kept. Another funny habit of my boss was bringing dead batteries back to Duane Reade. "I don't waste money on that shit. with about 10. many are homeless. You see.-------------------- Another funny thing about personal injury firms is that they're almost pathologically cheap when it comes to office space & office supplies. The he tosses me the loose exhibit tabs and says "I'll leave this screwdriver on the desk so you can use it whenever. One time a judge in Queens asked me if I moonlighted as a chimney sweep and was cracking up at how illegible the shit was." he said. So when I first started at the firm I finished cutting/pasting a boilerplate motion together. it's pointless to piss away $$$ on nice offices and such since anywhere with chairs and running water is likely to be a huge upgrade from what they're used to. Usually these firms are in some grungy little bodega-sized storefront in an outer borough. That said. Another funny thing was that they bought those knockoff printer toners from a dood on Canal Street who sold them off the back of a station wagon. Then he tells me to go next door and ask X (the other partner) where to get them from. He grunts and then fishes a Defendant's motion from a pile of shit next to his desk. uneducated folks.000 old newspapers thrown all over. The office had one of those electric combination locks on it. They were terrible and all our papers looked like a charcoal briquette had been rubbed across them. I forgot to mention that his office looked like the inside of a recycling depot.in fact. so the kid would take home 300 K after our fee. He said he learned that trick growing up in East New York. So about every month or so the lock needed 4 new "AA" size batteries. X and was there to cover the appearance and explain the settlement terms to him. Dad is a real gang-banger. the judge puts the money in a bank account until the kid turns 18. and NO ONE can touch a dime of the loot without court order once deposited. I forgot to mention he had an Escalade brochure in his hand and apparently . the judge has to approve the settlement and review its terms. The judge sets up the bank account for the child directly.) The kid had lead poisoning from eating the flakes & stuff like potato chips in whatever housing project they called home.someone quit/got fired/committed suicide etc. etc. they can void the settlement and force you to trial. This was a "heavy" case (in PI lingo anything worth north of 100 K is called a "heavy case" fyi. Here's another story: In NYC. It worked every fucking time and was one of his big claims to fame. The cheap ass would keep the battery package and have the secretary bring the dead ones back to Duane Reade scotch-taped into the pack and tell the clerk that they were dead when we bought them. Anything over a 10 is a high lead reading. He greeted me by saying "Where the fuck is Mister X?" (my boss). since so many PI firms are sleazy and try to inflate phantom "expenses" and other stuff to grab a few extra $$$ from the kiddies. when you settle an injury case for a minor under 18. this kid had a 64 and had suffered permanent brain damage and learning disabilities. So I roll into this Infant Comp hearing in the Bronx one day and find the clients (a 9 year old kid) and his dad sitting on the bench outside the courtroom. So the dad says "Did you bring my check" and I told him "that's not how it works. not the parents. etc. The settlement was around 450 K. I told him I worked for Mr.gold tooth." He was very popular because his robots always ran full steam on fresh batteries. It's called an "Infant Compromise Order" and these appearances are very dicey. gang tats. etc. He was the talk of the town. where he had a bunch of toy robots in the 1950s or whatever and always got free batteries by using that "trick. Esp. etc. scars. If the judge thinks it’s a shit deal. which were apparently very expensive back then. who would of course piss it away in 5 minutes if given the chance." Oh boy was this guy pissed. My boss scored millions on this shit by having doorknob-hanger ads made up and hung from every crackhouse & hovel in NYC. You see. and settling old ones. He said next time to use "Sherlock. He already had put his headphones back on.planned a visit to the Cadilliac dealership right after court. I told him it was highly unlikely that the judge would let him buy a luxury SUV with his kid's brain damage money. He said he needed a car to drive the kid to day care. You see. so it started a shitlaw feeding frenzy once word got out. and how he was going to explain all of that to the judge. it's very hard to keep tabs on injury clients. since many are in gangs. When you finally get a fucking settlement. BTW don't go getting all excited about signing up lead paint cases. but this guy wanted no part of listening. Asking questions is a quick way to get canned. I saw it happen to about a dozen guys in the year and a half I worked there. It was a great trick to get them in there. You see. Turns out he was the mom's current boyfriend and she sent him over there to pick up the check. so the bailiff came over and they bounced outta there real quick. Sherlock's trick was to put word out "on the street" that the client had won millions in cash and had to show up at the courthouse at 9 am to have the claim form notarized. I told him that I only learned of the appearance yesterday and was in deposition until 5 pm and had left a message on their machine. Questions are not encouraged. since these guys have to spend every working minute scrounging for and signing up new cases. almost ALL the NYC lead cases were against an insurance carrier named Firemen's Fund. in Shitlaw every single thing that ever goes wrong is all YOUR fault. moving around public housing etc." That's another funny story. etc. it is "sink or swim" from day one. homeless. There is also absolutely no training whatsoever. asked a few questions. That horse long ago limped off to the glue factory. the work has only just begun because you then have to track these losers down and have them sign the release. those were the days. So back at the office I get screamed at for not "following up" and getting the mom into court. Some lawyers were even having runners scrape lead paint off abandoned buildings and dumping it in people's . He started getting loud and all. who insured all the public housing in NYC and a lot of ghetto private properties. The judge's clerk asked for his ID before the hearing and. I told the clerk to recalendar the thing and we'd try to track down the mother for the next appearance. So we used this shady "private eye" named Sherlock who was a former NY cop who I think did some jail time in the 80s. Oh. but not much fun when you have to explain that in fact they're getting 9 K for a herniated disc from their fender-bender. seeing a different last name. Some genius left the lead paint policy exclusion out of almost every policy written in 2000-2001. There was no way I could let this settlement get voided. Thank God it turned out this guy wasn't even the kid's real father or guardian. ----------------------------- . Those cases are now mostly all gone/settled.apartments so they could cash out if the kid's lead levels were marginal (even marginal cases could get you 25 K or so nusiance value). you ain't getting a dime. ALL the new policies have lead paint exclusions. so even if the kid is pouring skim milk on a bowl of lead paint flakes each morning. 09.-:80.4://40 /4..391../4.0 349.9204:85039430.3/2439479090258 &8:.49.47.3/9038:7190390730947-:8914790490723:90841904:7 :990 172880/:59498.7094.83 80.9073.4:..4:0998"57424943--03..3.4389..33480042:.3/.4907 3/841894450438419.8005 .43/8.9.3/09. .3/. 804:...90 89..07 :79072470 870/.4.70.33 90744289444947.3/ 8/4.393549039.3/./ 057843 2489504503/4.8570 1.425:9078 .".9070-.47/3949089.0147.0/ 0.84380.50450 %8.70034190..929.3/90/4.089...90.11./0.3/89..0/ 4:9 #.3/0 9385:0/3944304:909 09.700/:5 90.0./.9438 .370/.07905..8.20..79843:9907-.70.970../.3/84204495742490/94" 30/.58:594138.8 %8:8.89./ 0. -:9..3/:2-:.3/8.0-.8 24:390/434304194808.3/938419. 439950-.0 .8 /85.8902489051:47.94-0.079070 8.1905..4:/7097033/.79./3/.4.8.8993309942 .075..03 9349.35.84398:0/4.10097./.47/.72.4./.0:.994730 .47/7443434:70-4.2080435740.89.9:.83 90.9.0/43908.70 4:/4:97:89%%%.3/427.9 84343.3/./ $4.9 308034:74-3.80 9208.33/41 943:047842093 ..4/07 -:94:419030994. $4908.9 3.. 0/408.3 9:80.79841905./4.08:834304:78.:.93.0 94:.425.30994420408/./.11.70038/0.074308980-4940-4..! /4./.90.798973949:73900397078/0..7947..:3/70/.1907 907.3/841574-02809070.9 0//3 9300/9424.4:934:94:808 09.4190! /4..0:30884:. 9085390 00 4/078.-07085438.394-039 84842093 ./ 084:/3 91:.3-007010.9090/4.808 70202-079480 01470.389.8 9.5.9438430708074:88.07 4.7/ 905834994.0.70708. .7 .3/ 8.$0.80.9078.943 147-0370.905038 09./4.47/3942 07574-028 .4:/9029.3.1994724/073.90774789 .3097.425:907. 70.3/9:730/82439470970208/0.8.4/0789.3.3/8089.3/ 9070..0 .8440/07.703 9.88.0/2801.7088.3/2 0/408980 9208.94380704..9947309082094405984/-.32430840..3/4:73:2-075458:5 4:/43 909.3897..0 -..025::5.989.7003 .:80.3/7.425:907243947 98.0:83. 810.08970093...3/147842070.343..88.425:9074190.9079.090243947:58/0/43.94394800.3/. 870.55..3/:/04.70.4/078.079.825488-09457434:3.3/.7./074050703.8. $42092089 8:895.98.8.705:9.03:5.070747 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