Achieving Balance - Overcoming Overload in Your Work and Personal Life

Achieving BalanceOvercoming overload in your work and personal life © 1996 , 2003 Ceridian Corporation All rights reserved. Achieving Balance I just have too much to do. It can get so overwhelming… I’m being pulled in so many different directions. If I focus on one thing, I fall behind somewhere else… It seems as though there’s never enough time… Pressure. Stress. Overload. We all feel it at times. And we can all use some help as we try to cope. This book has been created to help you deal with feelings of stress and overload in your life, to help you cope more effectively with the pressures and challenges you face. Don’t feel that you should read this book from cover to cover. You’re probably pressed for time, or you wouldn’t have asked for a copy. The brief summaries that follow can help you decide which section to read first: 1 The Hurry Pattern: Recognizing and dealing with stress Stress can make even simple requests feel like unmanageable demands. What are the signs of stress? How does stress affect your behavior and your health? How does it contribute to feelings of overload? Ideas and strategies for recognizing and reducing stress. 11 Getting Back in Control: How to make a change in your life You want more time, but what do you want time for? Thinking about what’s important to you is a key step in the process of managing your time. Tools for identifying what’s important, what you wish you had more time for, and for turning those wishes into realistic goals. 16 Following Through: Prioritizing, planning, and organizing How do you get to the “big” things when the “little” things keep getting in the way? Ideas for getting organized at home and at work, with tips on planning, prioritizing, and organizing. 30 Time Wasters: Dealing with wasted time and procrastination How can you focus when there are so many interruptions? How can you even get started when there are so many distractions around you? Ideas for controlling wasted time and overcoming procrastination. 37 Getting to “No”: Setting limits, delegating, and getting help – at work and at home How do you say “no” and protect your time when you’ve been trained all your life to say “yes”? And how can you get more help from those around you? Ideas for delegating at work and at home in ways that offer others a chance to learn and to grow. Think of this book as a reference tool that you can return to again and again. It has lots of ideas – too many to absorb or act on at once. Try some of them out. When you’re ready, scan through the book again and see if any other ideas seem worth trying. After you get a handle on one issue, you’ll probably be ready to tackle others. The Hurry Pattern Recognizing and dealing with stress ■ How to recognize the signs of stress How to manage stress ■ Everyone seems pressed for time these days. With the faster pace of business and the push to “do more with less,” we feel more pressure at work. With new technology, like cellular telephones and portable computers, it’s easier to do work on the road and at home, but harder to set it aside. And it seems as though we’re always rushing at home – to get dinner ready, get the trash out, pay the bills on time, and make sure the kids do their homework. We rarely seem to have time for our own needs, for relaxed visits with friends, and for other important things in life. How can we do our best at work, be available to our families and our friends, and take good care of ourselves when there’s so little time? How can we get out from under the sense of pressure and overload? It’s not easy, but it can be done. Though life may often seem out of control, each of us really can make it better. The first step is to convince ourselves that we need to make a change. 1 The Hurry Pattern We interrupt an older relative who is speaking slowly. Most subjects gave the signal well before a full minute. But stress is there at other times.” the popularity of “instant meals” and “fast food. too. from family and other personal relationships. pushes us to pay attention to the people we care about. and from habits we can’t seem to break. Stress can come from outside – from work. Without looking at a clock. and generally keeps us behaving responsibly. One study linked this impatience to a changed perception of time. We race to be first in line. What are the signs of too much stress? The hurry pattern. Think of phrases like “fast track” and “quick study. Too much stress can be paralyzing – it can make us afraid to take chances. and to send messages instantly by fax and e-mail. from our expectations of ourselves. our tolerance for waiting often goes down. sap energy and creativity. This “hurry pattern” is seductively easy to slip into and is fed by pressures and messages all around us. Some – those under a great deal of pressure in their lives – gave the signal after as little as 15 seconds. Most of us only notice stress when the pressure becomes unbearable. As stress levels rise. 2 The Hurry Pattern .How to recognize the signs of stress In order to manage the stress in our lives. damage relationships. But many of us also need to learn when and how to slow down.” the pressure to use “overnight” rather than “regular” mail. Some of this stress is productive. subjects were asked to signal when they thought a minute had gone past. We can’t bear to go to a restaurant where the service is slow. from worrying about how others see us. But it can also be unhealthy. we first need to recognize its symptoms and understand how it affects our behavior and our health. It motivates us to achieve. and even make us physically sick. from our financial situation – and from inside – from guilt. Red lights seem impossibly long. Stress had so altered their perception of time that they were living their lives in constant fast-forward. Sometimes we do need to be quick and efficient in our lives. We hang up the telephone when we’re put on hold for more than a few seconds. the lack of sleep fueling the need for caffeine causing us to lose sleep night after night.Addiction to schedules. Today. pay our bills on time. yet too many of us focus on “play” with the same intensity that we focus on “work. and play spontaneously. modems. At the beginning of the century. e-mail. The “on-line/call-waiting” syndrome. our friends. Sometimes we get such pleasure from feeling indispensable that we don’t notice how it drains us. Vacations and weekends are for resting and recharging. Sometimes we do this deliberately. staying up late to read. and the Internet. impatience. watch TV. We overload our children with organized activities. This may squeeze a few more hours out of the week. Being aware of schedules is important. telephones began to link homes and businesses into a giant communications web. but at what price! Lack of sleep leads to forgetfulness. The combination of caffeine and sleep deprivation leads to irritability. but over-scheduling your time. It opens us to inaccuracy. 3 The Hurry Pattern . faxes. and cuts down on creativity and concentration. with cellular phones. or work.” Those of us with children often fall into the trap of scheduling their time as tightly as we schedule our own. We’ve succumbed to the expectations of others – our bosses. read. over-schedule our vacations and our other time away from work. We forget how to shut the communication off and get away from work and other responsibilities. portable computers. The “no-sleep/more-caffeine” spiral. and accidents. errors. beepers. And sometimes we lose sleep because of anxiety. and get to the supermarket before it closes. But we also need to know when to let schedules go. Many of us. and a tendency to react with anxiety or anger to the normal demands of life. and don’t give them enough opportunity to rest. We need to keep appointments. study. We need to live by schedules during our work day. our families – that we be available at all times. and the time of those around you. many of us deprive ourselves of needed sleep. is a sign of stress. imagine. many of us have become so tangled in that web that we can’t get out. Then we drink coffee or other caffeinated drinks to stay alert – which only makes it harder to sleep the next night. when not to look at our watches. for example. In order to “make time” for all we do. And on and on it goes. Recent studies link stress with the common cold and heart disease. like headaches. Instead they tend to grow until we’re finally forced to react to them. These symptoms can frequently be treated by dealing with the underlying tension. Some people “get by” by dealing with short-term emergencies and avoiding big problems that can be kept out of sight. Left unchecked. Avoiding problems. or conversation with people we enjoy. skip meals. work-related (that big project that needs to be finished by next week). Poor health. Anger can be an appropriate response to inappropriate pressure and demands. a body open to injury and illness. stress at this level can hurt our careers. Such problems can be emotional (dealing with the death of a loved one. We give up exercise. back pains. Stress.Neglecting ourselves. or personal (paying attention to a troubled relationship). One common reaction to stress is to ignore important issues and tasks. People do get sick more often when they’re tired and under stress. a mind closed to change. and overload expose us to injury and affect our bodies’ abilities to fight disease. the first needs we neglect are often our own. exhaustion. but it can also be a cue that something is wrong. and by doing so we end up fueling the stress and making it even worse. As pressure mounts in our lives. and stiff necks. and our friendships. In fact. the American Medical Association estimates that 80 percent of all medical problems are stress-related. We deprive ourselves of pleasure and relaxation as time pressures increase. The obvious irony here – and most of us know it even as we slide into the trap – is that these are precisely the needs we must pay attention to in order to combat stress. and to react too quickly with irritability and anger to what would otherwise seem reasonable requests. our families. But important problems rarely go away. and lack of sleep with highway and workplace accidents. Stress also shows itself in the form of other physical symptoms. Too much stress can cause us to close our minds to new possibilities. 4 The Hurry Pattern . reading. and don’t allow ourselves time for the activities we value. Uncontrolled anger. and accident rates do rise with stress levels. for example). like quiet walks. upset stomachs. by certain attitudes and beliefs that we rarely stop to question and that keep us from recognizing and reducing stress. If left unrecognized and untreated. you can take action to reduce it – by breaking the hurry pattern and by carving out time for relaxation. Stress can sometimes be linked with depression. A more realistic view of our roles can lead to more reasonable expectations of ourselves.” Many of us believe – mistakenly – that asking for help is a sign of weakness. depression can be dangerous and self-defeating. and too little time doing those things that are really important. or time to build and strengthen relationships) until later. and hopelessness. and enjoyment. so it has to be done. In addition. and recognize and respond to important opportunities in life. we’ll be so absorbed by “emergencies” and other people’s needs that we will constantly feel out of control and overwhelmed. but depression can also lead us to behave in ways that cause stressful events to occur. and seeking help. Depression is often associated with feelings of overwhelming sadness. How to manage stress Once you’ve identified the symptoms of stress. To become more resilient.” It’s natural to respond to urgency. Most of us spend far too much time reacting to events. delegation. In most cases. Many of us are trapped. a clinical condition that should be treated with professional help. it can help to examine the myths that drive us – both at work and at home. bounce back from discouraging obstacles. we sometimes convince ourselves that we are the only ones who can or will do the tasks that face us. But if we don’t steer our actions by a clear sense of priorities.Depression. It can also lead to a healthier pattern of setting limits. Myth 3: “I’ll find the time later. and we really shouldn’t do all the work ourselves. Myth 2: “It’s up to me to get it done. 5 The Hurry Pattern . at least in part. Myth 1: “It’s urgent. It’s easier to respond to pressure than to map a course. and with a greatly reduced ability to cope with day-to-day demands. when we’ll have more time. It can also create a vicious cycle: stress can sometimes be the cause of depression. reflection. anxiety. we aren’t the only ones.” It’s easy to push off important matters (like our own needs. but it’s not always necessary. Taking steps like these helps you become resilient – able to accept change. or it might be something outside of work. Managing stress by looking for satisfaction One way to relieve stress is by striving for satisfaction. and by building a more balanced sense of accomplishment. or a community service. Take the time to help a friend or family member. Just getting to the tasks on your “to do” list can bring a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. For a long time I admired [people] in a hurry. and taking time to enjoy yourself. you might: ■ ■ ■ ■ Spend time on an activity that you feel strongly about.But does that time ever come? At some point we simply need to recognize that now is the time to get our lives in balance. too: being there when your friends or family need you. too. using relaxation and meditation techniques. What I fear most about stress is not that it kills. We ultimately manage stress by taking care of our own needs. Some of the ways you can keep it under control are by: ■ looking for satisfaction through accomplishment and meaningful use of time. for example. by focusing on what’s important to us in every aspect of our lives. The Art of Time How to manage stress There is no simple solution to overcoming stress. until I realized that they were merely under stress. Depending on your situation. It takes practice and some effort to keep stress at bay. like a hobby. more creativity. And there are other ways to find satisfaction. ■ 6 The Hurry Pattern . but that it prevents one from savoring life. or making time for something really important to you. Jean-Louis Servan-Schreiber. increased efficiency. better health. Completing an important project at work or at home can bring satisfaction through a sense of accomplishment. It might be an aspect of your work. exercising. some creative activity. and improved relationships. But the payoff is clear: greater resiliency. ■ Spend some extra time with your child at bedtime. A deep-breathing session – even one as brief as a minute – can help you calm down and face your work and home demands more effectively. Techniques such as meditation and visualization are now recognized as effective stress-reduction tools in many schools and workplaces. As you breathe. Choose a word or phrase. Here are some relaxation ideas: ■ Deep breathing. In the remaining sections of this book. Use a break at work or at home for meditation. Imagine yourself ■ ■ 7 The Hurry Pattern .” or a short passage of inspirational writing. Read or tell an extra story. Focus on important. we will suggest strategies and tips for reaching this balanced sense of accomplishment. inhaling and exhaling completely. from paying attention to all of our priorities in ways that don’t overwhelm us and leave us feeling out of control. University of Nebraska cardiologist Managing stress through relaxation and meditation Sometimes we simply need to slow down. allow the muscles in your body to relax. After a quick break to “recharge. Give your child a chance to talk about what’s on his or her mind without any time pressure. Whatever you do.” we’re better able to focus on the tasks at hand. and try to clear your thoughts of the frustrations you face. ■ Rule Number 1 is. Instead of meditating by repeating a word or phrase. take the time to focus on what you’ve accomplished. Real satisfaction usually comes from leading a balanced life. Dr. Robert S. Eliot. Work to complete a task that you’ve been meaning to tackle for a long time. don’t sweat the small stuff. to stop for a few minutes and do nothing but relax. Meditation. Close your eyes. Rule Number 2 is. Visualization. use positive and soothing images to rid yourself of anxiety. productive work. it’s all small stuff. rather than simply reacting to emergencies. Even a few minutes of quiet meditation can help you refocus with fresh energy. Take slow. like “peace” or “calm. not just on what remains to be done. Even the most productive people will continue to feel stressed if they only look forward at what still requires their attention. Let the schedule slip a little. and repeat it to yourself as you breathe slowly and rhythmically. Find a quiet space with a comfortable place to sit. deep breaths. ■ ■ ■ Exercising with a friend or your partner can help keep you motivated. Managing stress by bringing fun and pleasure into your life Sometimes we need to remind ourselves to keep fun in our lives. and raises energy levels. temples. Get up a half-hour earlier in the morning to do aerobic exercises. Finding the time for exercise can be an obstacle. at the back of your head. People who exercise regularly often say that exercise has a calming effect and improves their resilience in dealing with daily demands. Try walking or bicycling to work as a way to build exercise into your routine. Massage. and brings with it the bonus of better health. With your fingers. Stand and stretch your arms over your head. Breathe slowly and evenly as you keep this picture in your mind. like a candle.in a situation you find relaxing. and set aside three or four evenings for a swim with your partner or a friend. your jaw. Stretching. Stretch your fingers backward to loosen muscles tightened by typing or precise work with your hands. or create an image of a restful object. A book of written prayers or devotional material can help you focus if your mind is racing and you feel overwhelmed. Join a local Y or health club. massage the muscles at the back of your neck. If we’ve deprived ourselves long enough it can be hard. called endorphins. even to think of what ■ ■ ■ ■ 8 The Hurry Pattern . with an effect similar to that of modern anti-depressant medications. or wherever else you feel tension. If prayer is important to you. This may be because sustained exercise causes the body to release calming agents. Open your mouth as wide as you can to unclench your jaw muscles. on an empty beach. for example. have a friend or your partner gently knead the muscles in your shoulders and along your back. into the brain. If you can. But a little push is all it takes: as few as 30 minutes of exercise three times a week can really help. at first. It loosens muscles that may be tense. Take periodic breaks to loosen muscles that have become tight because of tension. Go for a run during your lunch break or on your way home. ■ Prayer. you might use it during times of stress as a way to collect yourself. Tip your head from side to side slowly. Feelings of responsibility and guilt can cause us to deprive ourselves of fun. Managing stress through exercise Exercise offers another important way to relax. or in a garden. break your ideas into three categories: 9 The Hurry Pattern . Learn a new language.is fun. But.) But in order to manage stress. Even short enjoyment breaks can help reduce stress in a big way. Listen to music you enjoy. or whatever. Take turns at the end of each block deciding which way to turn. For some people. and at a fixed pace. our work. Do a crossword puzzle. a game group. One reason some people don’t allow themselves to have more fun is that they mistakenly think that enjoyment requires a major time commitment. Now try making your own list. Shop for upcoming birthday cards. Here are a few ideas to get you started: ■ Write a short letter to a friend. we need to enjoy ourselves. and our relationships all suffer. You might: ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ Make something – out of wood. a movie group. weekends away. Try doing something you’ve never done before. our health. they give you the sense of what it means to be playful. Without fun. clay. Go for a walk with a friend. fabric. together. They think in terms of days at the beach. Read a magazine article or the comic pages in the newspaper. Spend a few minutes on your favorite hobby. (They have to run every morning. Activities that take longer don’t need to be expensive or involve major commitments of time. ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ Some of the ideas above may appeal to you and some may not. Join a book group. Step outside for a few minutes of fresh air. or evenings out. or a dinner club. like roller-skating or fishing. they become competitive in activities that should be relaxing. Think of the activities you take pleasure in and that give you enjoyment. But fun and enjoyment also come in smaller doses. Take a drive or go for a walk in a place you’ve never been before. play can become like work. To encourage yourself to think of a broad range of activities. Fun activities that take only a few minutes Fun activities that take an hour or two Fun activities that take a half day or longer Keep this list of fun activities. Dr. and to grow to the point where we see problems as opportunities. by organizing ourselves to be more effective. Stanley J. Those are the sources of enjoyment that will be the most accessible and useful when you are under stress. The process of living is the process of reacting to stress. Try adding to it and changing it as you think of new ideas and try out new activities. Sarnoff Becoming resilient through managing stress Our goal in reducing stress is to become better able to deal with change and setbacks in life. and by learning how to say “no” to responsibilities that might overload us. we are dealing with stress at its roots. and use it when you need a break. And focus on the left column. by setting aside time for exercise and relaxation. and by working toward a balanced sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. we’ll look at additional ideas and strategies that can help reduce stress – by focusing our time on what is most important to us. we are learning to become resilient. the activities that take only a few minutes. 10 The Hurry Pattern . In the following sections. By learning how to enjoy life. by avoiding wasted time and confronting procrastination. That is. eliminate many of the day-to-day demands. and your role in your community. learning. and start over? Sometimes it helps to answer these questions by asking yourself: “How do I want people to remember my life when it’s over?” As you think about how you spend your time. and for some of us it won’t be obvious. there never will be “more time. You also need time to take care of yourself – time for exercise. consider the different roles you play and the different spheres in which you operate. your work life is one of those spheres. ■ ■ Identifying what’s important When we feel overloaded and out of control. What is important to you? What are the big things and small things that you want that extra time for? How would you spend your time if you could clear your schedule. Think about all of the spheres in which you operate. and what you’d like more time for in each. In order to deal with overload and regain a sense of control. Other spheres might include your family. and enjoyment. Take a few minutes to think about it.” So we need to think about how we spend our time now. Setting goals based on what’s realistic. as we already know. and how you’d like to spend it. your marriage. we first need to answer the question.Getting Back in Control How to make a change in your life ■ What do you want time for? What’s important to you? Setting goals based on what’s important. 11 Getting Back in Control . “What do I want time for?” The answer to that question will be different for each of us. We can become so addicted to hurrying and responding to urgency that we lose sight of what is really important. If you have a job. your friendships. “There’s not enough time!” But. for example. relaxation. we often express it by saying. developing and encouraging the people who work with you.Try using the worksheet below to list what is most important to you in the different parts of your life. It might be a special project at work. or taking courses toward a degree. working with your child to overcome a reading problem. In the spaces to the right. write down activities or tasks you’d like more time for. Time Wish List Spheres/roles Professional/work What I’d like more time for My own well-being and growth Family Other relationships Community/citizen Other 12 Getting Back in Control . becoming more involved in community activities. you now have something concrete to work toward. out of control. Setting goals can be an effective way of helping yourself get to what’s important. The next step is to turn the wish list into a set of goals to act on. and may leave you wondering whether or not you’ve reached your goal. it can feel good to remind yourself of what is most important to you. Goals give you the first outlines of an action plan. and miserable. So where do you find the time to focus on what’s important? Making the wish list is an important first step.” A good rule of thumb for goals is to make them SMART: Specific. “Meet once a week with each member of my work team” is a specific goal. none of us is likely to change. and Time-limited. ■ Specific goals are clear and narrow enough to guide you. Action-oriented. Making a change can be a threatening prospect. Shifting to a proactive. “Clean out the basement this fall” might be a realistic goal for you. “Finish at least five paintings by the end of the year” is a measurable goal. Realistic goals are within reach. For example. while “Get the house in order” may be too large to handle.Setting goals based on what’s important You probably have mixed feelings after listing how you’d like to spend your time. Action-oriented goals focus on steps to take. rather than a reactive. “Join a hiking club this fall” is an action-oriented goal. or to when you first drove a car in traffic. Think back to how you felt just before you learned how to ride a bicycle. Those were breakthrough changes. On the one hand. but at least we know what to expect. the wish to “spend more time with the kids” might turn into the goal of “get home for supper four nights a week. way of managing your time can be the same sort of liberating change. Without a push from somewhere. “Spend more time on my painting” is not. Realistic. For example. though they may stretch you. Now that you know how to ride a bike and are comfortable driving. Instead of simply feeling unhappy that you don’t have enough time. But it can also be frustrating to be reminded of how absorbed you are in activities which may not seem very important to you. Measurable goals allow you to see how you’re doing. it’s hard to imagine life without those skills. Look back to your wish list on the previous page and think about how you might turn those “wants” into realistic goals. Change. 13 Getting Back in Control ■ ■ ■ . involves a step into the unknown. on the other hand. “Make new friends” may be too vague to act on. Change actually adds stress to your life – but only in the short term. “Become a more attentive manager” is probably too general to be useful. We may feel overloaded. Measurable. ” without a time horizon.■ Time-limited goals have deadlines or time horizons. “Lose 10 pounds. Goals Spheres/roles Professional/work Goals My own well-being and growth Family Other relationships Community/citizen Other 14 Getting Back in Control . “Lose 10 pounds over the next three months” is a time-limited goal. You can use the chart below to write your own goals. plays into our tendency to put things off. When faced with difficult people. Reinhold Niebuhr What will it take to make a change in your life? Goals can help us take responsibility for our lives rather than resigning ourselves to what comes our way. Your teenage daughter knows how to push your limits. and the wisdom to tell the difference.” Read over your goals.Setting goals based on what’s realistic There may be frustrations and aggravations in your life that you can do very little to change. situations. The next step is to begin to live by those goals. but it is you who reacts in a negative way or accepts that change and looks for the opportunities it offers. and it can be hard work. and in most cases you can’t do much to change who your manager is or how your co-workers act. or a crisis at work. but it is you who reacts. however. Look over your “time wish list. But you don’t have to let it go that far. whether it is calmly or in anger. It takes initiative to get and keep our lives in balance. By becoming a better listener. focus on what you can control: your reaction and your behavior. you may be able to persuade your manager to give you more challenging and interesting work. And your role at work may change in ways you don’t like. the strength to accept what I can’t. A co-worker may be aggravating. Nor do you have much choice about many of the people you deal with in life. Watch for signs of stress. 15 Getting Back in Control . but you make the choice of whether to talk with her calmly or let a dispute grow into a shouting match. are out of your control. too. Many of the rules that govern your behavior. For example. you may be able to affect the behavior of others in helpful ways. for example. you may be able to change the way your spouse or your co-workers talk with you. Grant me the courage to change what I can change. What will it take for you to make a change? It might take a medical or family emergency. You can’t control what your in-laws say. Observe how you react to change and setbacks. you can’t control the actions of other people. By becoming more organized. for example. For example. And think about how much better your life would feel if you could focus on what is important to you. you probably can’t do much about the rules that set your work schedule. You may be able to influence them through your own actions. but much of what other people do is out of your hands. You can choose how to react. With some effort. and here it will take strength and stamina to overcome old habits. or events that you can’t control. For one thing. Managing yourself: understanding your organizing style Managing your time for accomplishment.Following Through Prioritizing. We need to translate goals into changes in our everyday behavior. planning. to getting the most done in the least amount of time. The key is to use our strengths to their best advantage and to strengthen our weaknesses – with organizing tools and systems. Advice in the field of time management is often geared toward efficiency – that is. and practice. but it can be difficult to follow and sometimes leads to feelings of frustration. ultimately. All of us have bad habits that keep us from being more effective. and organizing ■ Managing yourself: understanding your organizing style How to plan and anticipate How to prioritize How to get organized ■ ■ ■ Moving from goals to action takes work. prioritize. 16 Following Through . efficiency alone doesn’t help us decide what is important to accomplish. and we need to plan. and misdirected efforts to speed things up can leave us feeling that our lives are even more unbalanced than they were when we started. And all of us have strengths that we can build on. a matter of managing yourself. and satisfaction is. training. Some of that advice is sound. and organize in ways that work with our personal styles and with what we need to accomplish. balance. Seeing past those old rules may relieve some of our guilt. rather than rely on an abstract filing system. And finishing a task might not even be the most efficient goal for everyone. think of it as an opportunity to create systems that really do work – for each of us. “Finish one task before starting another.People are different. They feel more comfortable with hard data and firm answers than with ambiguity and hunches. Many of us do our best work when we handle several tasks at the same time. ■ ■ ■ Convergent thinkers tend to work by zeroing in on problems and taking a logical step-by-step approach. Many visually oriented people prefer to keep work-in-progress where it can be seen. say 80 percent of the way to completion. In more collaborative work environments a less rigid approach works better: one person takes the task as far as he can comfortably.” This is fine advice for some people and for some types of work. They are more comfortable with a clear work space so that they can focus on one task at a time. then passes it to someone who can do the last 20 percent better than he can. with clear roles and few policy decisions to be made. 17 Following Through ■ .” That might work in a hierarchical organization with secretaries and subordinates to delegate to. that was out of step all along. Ideas from one project can often be applied to another. Convergent thinking is associated with the left hemisphere of the brain. What kind of organizer are you? Ann McGee-Cooper.” A clean desk may be more a sign of the power to delegate than a reflection of an organized mind. Divergent thinkers tend to work by scanning the big picture and skipping from task to task. Think of some of the old sayings about office efficiency: ■ “Don’t touch a piece of paper twice. Instead of relying on logic and data. in her book. Instead of focusing in. Your system for organizing your life may not work for someone else. divides people into two types: “convergent” and “divergent” thinkers. and in all of our different situations. And someone else’s may not work for you. But how many of us work like that today? What about the request that needs some thought and consultation with others? What about information that needs to be collected and synthesized with other data? “A messy desk is the sign of a cluttered mind. not us. But the goal of greater accomplishment hasn’t changed. Some freedom – and some relief – comes from realizing that it may be the old advice. but it doesn’t work for everyone. with all of our diverse backgrounds and abilities. they are comfortable with intuitive responses and guesses. Time Management for Unmanageable People. but it doesn’t mean we should let our organizing systems slip. Instead. they branch out. on the bus into work. So where will you find the time to plan? You need to make it. Of course. use that time for planning. Plan with your goals in mind.They tend to be visual organizers and prefer to have their projects in plain sight. we need to plan. But in order to gain balance in our lives and focus on what is important to us. But the model is a helpful one. Or you might do your planning at home. How to plan and anticipate Most of us don’t spend time planning our days. review your goals. Don’t let anyone interfere. and as an eye-opener to help us recognize and live with the different work habits of others. make it a habit to use that time for planning. and don’t let yourself get distracted.” Both are valuable and useful in their own ways. Each of us can recognize elements of both types in ourselves. And what reason do we give? That we don’t have time. Effective planning and scheduling ■ Find a time and a place for daily planning. the lines in real life are never so clearly drawn. Remember that neither style of thinking is “better. Divergent thinking is associated with the right hemisphere of the brain. ■ 18 Following Through . As you plan. you’ll be making progress toward meaningful and satisfying accomplishment. In order to avoid being at the mercy of each new emergency. Whatever time you choose. They will remind you that you need time to take care of yourself. and time for the important tasks at work. And by making time for them. If your first few minutes at work are a quiet time with few demands or interruptions. planning is critical – no matter what our organizing style. By recognizing our own styles. we can take advantage of our strengths and make improvements where we need to. time for your friends and family. or before you leave work at the end of the day. both for understanding the types of organizational tools and systems that are likely to work for us. Just by thinking about those goals you’ll be reminded to make time for them in your schedule. ■ Use a single calendar. or when you will be out of town. Some households take a few minutes on Sunday evening to go over the upcoming week’s schedule together. you can plan ahead for times when your work schedule will affect your commitments at home – during the busy season when overtime is required. You’ll need it to schedule the next appointment with your dentist. Plan for the unexpected. keeping two calendars can lead to scheduling mistakes and cause you to forget about important goals. You won’t forget birthdays and other special occasions. You will always have surprises and emergencies you can’t plan for. Take your calendar with you everywhere. any new demand will seem like an impossible crisis. It’s important to keep your calendar close by as you move from role to role in life. Build in time to talk with your children for a few minutes as they get up in the morning. and to remind yourself of long-range projects and responsibilities. This may be obvious at work. You’ll need it to set up a conference with your child’s teacher. that should be on the household calendar (and on your personal calendar). Build time into your schedule. While it’s good to keep track of schedules in both areas. Constant hurrying can lead to exhaustion and less effective performance in all aspects of your life. Make room in your schedule for stress relief. If you schedule yourself too tightly. With a single calendar. every day or every week. Using a single calendar helps you keep your plans in order. It may be helpful to keep a household calendar in a central spot in addition to your personal calendar. but other tools and systems may be required to coordinate effectively with others. with work events scheduled on their work calendar and family and personal events scheduled on their home calendar. Realize that most activities take more time than you think. but it may take more effort at home. If your son will need a ride to a Saturday tryout for the football team. in the days before a big presentation. Build in time for play and for fun. You’ll remember to make plans for your child’s school vacation. to deal with unexpected demands. Coordinate your plans with others. But if you allow space in your schedule for the unexpected. you’ll be better able to take it in stride. And you’ll need it at work – to keep track of daily tasks and appointments. You’ll know to arrange in advance for time off on the morning of your annual physical. Many people keep separate calendars at home and at work. Encourage everyone in the household to mark events on the calendar that will affect others. If you will be traveling or working an unusual schedule. that should be on the household calendar (and on your personal calendar). ■ ■ ■ ■ 19 Following Through . How you react to them will often depend on whether you’ve left any room in your schedule. preparations – – – – – Not urgent II Preparation. and into those that are important and those that are not. in his leadership seminars and in his book. some reports Some meetings Many proximate. New York. offers a useful model for looking at priorities: the importance/urgency matrix. 1995). tasks are divided into those that are urgent and those that are not. First Things First. by Steven R. 20 Following Through . Covey. 800-331-7716. planning Values clarification Relationship building True recreation. Inc. Stephen Covey. Unless we identify what we value most and put our everyday lives in line with those values. stress reduction Empowerment III Not important – – – – – Interruptions. In the model. The 10 Natural Laws of Effective Time and Life Management How to prioritize In the process of planning and mapping out a schedule. busywork Junk mail Some phone calls Time wasters “Escape” activities 1©1995 from First Things First. some phone calls Some mail. Merrill. pressing matters Many popular activities – – – – – IV Trivia. Used with permission of Covey Leadership Center. The importance/urgency matrix1 Urgent I Important – Crises – Pressing problems – Deadline-driven projects. we will plan and live reactively. prevention. All rights reserved. Roger Merrill. we face the question of what to do first. meetings. Hyrum Smith. and Rebecca R.What matters most in life should not be at the mercy of less important things. (Simon & Schuster. getting approval in a single meeting rather than a series of meetings. And the most stress-free satisfaction comes from efforts devoted to quadrant II tasks: those that are important but not urgent. Our goal. Real accomplishment. Covey explains. the next step is to refine your list of choices to a prioritized list – a “to do” list that focuses on the most important tasks. They may seem urgent. Instead of thinking. Some can do it effortlessly in their heads as they plan their daily schedules. But others may not. We deal with urgent matters reflexively. Different people will do this in different ways. your prioritized task list is your guide to effectiveness for the day. Others may simply star items on a “to do” list. and introducing new processes that might cut down on later rework. or yourself)?” Once you’ve thought about what’s important. If you look at your list of goals (page 14). by looking critically at the urgent tasks facing us. 21 Following Through . your friends. and will need to be addressed.Because we react to urgency. you’ll probably find that most of them fall in quadrant II. However you do it. most of us spend our time in quadrants I and III. should be to reduce the level of urgency in our lives and increase the level of satisfaction by focusing more of our time on quadrant II activities.and low-priority groups. “Could I do this another way in less time?” and “Is this really important to the customer (or your family. They’re important. And some might be addressed in different ways using far less of your time. Think about outsourcing some work. will turn out to be important. without considering how important they really are. How do we get the time to deal with important goals and long-range plans that aren’t urgent? First. according to Covey. comes from spending time on the important tasks in quadrants I and II. of course. Others may find it helpful to write tasks on index cards or Post-It notes and arrange them into high. “Which task should I do first?” think. but you tend to put them off because so many urgent tasks get in the way. but are they really important? What would happen if we put them off until tomorrow or even next week? What would happen if we never got to them at all? Some. however. know where your prioritized list and calendar are at all times. orderly home. we become discouraged by comparing ourselves with other. much less started on that big project we were so excited about. filing doesn’t offer security. then your system needs an overhaul. The good news is that each of us can get and stay organized. These workers don’t have an easy time thinking up a single title for a file and alphabetizing it – they can easily think up several and later have trouble remembering which they used when they tucked the file away. if it’s a constant struggle to keep on top of your schedule.How to get organized Now to make sure you get to those priorities. And. feel free to skip to the next section. you’re doing fine. If you have to spend more than a couple of minutes looking for something when you need it. read on. The measure is in the results: If you can find what you’re looking for within a couple of minutes. no matter what your work space looks like. “more organized” people. but the piles seem to creep back. Staying organized and focusing on priorities can be hard work for many of us. Neither of those two practices is “better” than the other (though the clean-desk group has received better press over the years). The same holds true 22 Following Through . a clean work surface and orderly files are essential to productive work. or anywhere else convenient. On the other hand. they can use their visual memory to locate an item in seconds. and have no trouble filing and finding information at work. Filing and work-space organization offer good examples of the range of our personal management choices. But with some creativity and diligence. pinned to the wall. even to find your “to do” list by the middle of the day. over time. Some of us will need to work smarter and make a greater effort. But when files and papers are within sight. it increases anxiety. Others are more comfortable with all pending tasks in sight – in standing files on top of their desks. If you maintain a reasonably clean. We go home at the end of the day and realize we still haven’t caught up with the backlog of work. manage interruptions and telephone calls. and respond promptly to messages and phone calls. and occasionally make a clean sweep at home. The key is not to feel as though we all have to approach the problem in the same way. keep track of pending issues. For this group. if you lose track of pending issues and forget to follow up on inquiries. You’re not alone! And there are ways to cope. We clear our work spaces from time to time. in piles. Some people prefer to work on a single task at a time without visual distraction from other projects. For this second group. we can all do it. information. At home. Beyond that. not follow a system designed for someone else. and schedules of people you supervise We need organizing systems that allow us to deal effectively with all of these tasks and responsibilities. or wherever else you have tasks. needs. The bottom line is that you need to find a system that works for you. we all have special organizing needs because of the nature of our jobs and our lives outside of work.when organizing at home. We need systems that remind us of what we need to do and that keep information and tools where we can find them. and material to keep track of. Think about what you need to organize The first step in designing your system is to think about what you need to organize. Some of us work on group tasks that require a great deal of interaction and cooperation (keeping a large household 23 Following Through ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ . you may keep track of: ■ bills and personal finances insurance and medical records grocery and other shopping needs household and car maintenance correspondence and telephone calls schedules and activities of other members of the household children’s school information an older relative’s financial or medical paperwork care and feeding of pets birthdays and other events At work. you might need to organize: ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ tools and supplies that you use in your job new and pending tasks long-range tasks records of completed work projects or jobs that pass in and out of your hands and need to be tracked appointments and deadlines the work. Some people use different colored pens to mark the activities of different household members. Your prioritized “to do” list This list is critical! You need to refer to it all day long. Buy an organizing calendar with space for daily priorities and goals. or find that it’s not working for you. ■ 24 Following Through . for example). ■ Use one calendar or other scheduling tool (such as an electronic organizer) to keep track of all of your work. buy another one. Below are some ideas for getting and keeping yourself organized. Put it somewhere you’ll be able to find it easily throughout the day – pinned on your wall. Scan the list and pick out the ideas that might work for you. ■ ■ ■ ■ A prioritized “to do” list on a piece of paper may be sufficient for you. Try them. Update it at the beginning or the end of every day. clipped to your calendar. Your calendar As described in the first part of this section. The small investment will pay off many times over in increased effectiveness if it helps you focus on your schedule. Use colored pens. and personal obligations. Some of us work on tasks with very short time horizons (such as taking and filling orders from customers). or stickers to flag different types of events on your calendar. Change and variety can help keep the task of organizing interesting. Think about what you need to keep track of at work and at home. Then try some more. or use an electronic organizer or software package with this feature. so find a system that works for you. One advantage of electronic organizers and software is the availability of “reminder” or “tickler” features that can be programmed to let you know when you should be focusing on important tasks. your calendar is an important planning tool. family. or in your wallet or pocketbook. Keep a second household calendar at home if you need to coordinate schedules with other members of the household.organized. and some of us work on complicated long-range projects with many steps and many layers of testing and approval (such as large engineering or software-development projects). colored Post-It notes. on your car or truck dashboard (if you drive during the work day). If you get tired of your calendar part way through the year. or stick them to pages in a notebook. attach them to a standing document holder (the type used to hold papers at eye level for typing). Try out a demonstration copy if you can. These pocket sheets might also hold slips of paper with “to do” tasks. and make each one a “to do” task. Depending on your needs. on paper. or you might create a different chart for each job. too. for example. Stamp collectors. which could be moved around. A purchasing manager needs inventory tracking data. added. sometimes keep stamps in “pocket sheets. A good program will let you look at a task from different perspectives – it will help you get quick answers to such questions as: “What needs to be done on the project this week?” “Who needs to do which parts of the task?” “What do I need to do?” Create tracking charts on your computer. ■ Be creative. is easy to learn and to use. needs to keep track of filing deadlines and trial dates or contracts that are out for review. A lawyer. Make organizing tools out of materials designed for other purposes. or discarded as tasks are completed or priorities change. Photograph albums. can be put to good use.” stiff notebook pages with horizontal pockets. for example. Put index cards in the sleeves instead of snapshots.■ Keep your list in the form of separate Post-It notes – one for each task. stick them on your refrigerator for home tasks. Put a summary of the task in the narrow band at the bottom of the card (where it will be visible when the flip-up pages are all down) and more detail in the space that will show when the card is flipped open. It may be helpful to create ■ 25 Following Through . and fits the type of work you are managing. Choose one that is compatible with your other software at work. Charts and tracking systems for larger work projects Your prioritized “to do” list is your quick flagging system to remind you of what’s important. You might make a single chart for multiple jobs. or as a wall chart (a wipeoff surface may be helpful). You may also need back-up tracking systems at work to manage larger projects and to watch for emerging priorities. you might: ■ Find a project-management software program. You might spread these out over a special “to do” area of your work surface. A particularly versatile “to do” system can be made from the type of album with overlapping flip-up plastic sleeves attached to each page. A production manager needs to track the status and deadlines of active jobs. Colored and special-purpose file folders. Not only may they not be the right sizes and shapes for your projects. They can be standard file cabinets. For many. Papers and projects Standard office equipment – manila file folders. deep file drawers. There are certain papers we need to keep together in groups – the documents for an order or project. drawers. They offer a way to keep current tasks visible – where they won’t be forgotten – and within easy reach. Some people use special flag to keep track of work flow.paper tracking charts that accompany a work-in-progress as it moves from stage to stage. Too little can force us to leave papers where they may get lost. portable boxes or plastic crates. If the budget allows. or even kitchen or bedroom drawers. the colors serve as apeople. Some work groups use colored files to mark the work of different people. Filing systems are bound to be part of any organizing solution. and other places for files. You might use different color folders to mark different types of information or to group information by project. they may not offer enough variety for the different information and material you need to organize. Some serve as a files for current projects – slash-cut jackets or colored files – as a visual use special files for current me first!”– people signal that says “Work on projects slash-cut jackets or colored files – as a visual signal that says “Work on me first!” ■ 26 Following Through . and tax records. narrow bookshelves – may not be a good fit for the kind of work you do and the kind of organizing you require. And they may simply be too dull to inspire you to organize. so that each worker can quickly see the project’s status and understand what’s expected now. treat yourself to colorful office supplies that bring a little excitement to organizing. They keep all files upright and in plain sight and counter any tendencies to bury and ignore what we don’t want to deal with. receipts. at home and at work. whether at home or at work. and so that you have a record of each person’s contribution or approval. keepcolors mark the work of different flag to the track of work flow. or family medical records. stand-up file racks are an office necessity. ■ File cabinets. Use containers that fit your needs. And think creatively about how you might use office supplies and organizing devices to build systems that meet your needs. for example. Too much filing space can cause us to bury what we need among the piles of what we don’t. ■ Desk-top file racks or vertical organizers. ■ You probably need a big bulletin board at home. and pictures of the family. for example. outdoor gear. current. you need places to put things where you’ll be able to find them later. Lumber and building material stores sell fiber bulletin-board material in four-by-eight-foot sheets. Colored or decorative stickers can serve the same purpose as special file folders. such as your child’s school schedule. ■ Refrigerator magnets. It might be helpful to have even more bulletin-board wall space. or just inside the entrance to your home – where household members can keep each other updated with important reminders.■ Stickers. the refrigerator can be the organizational hub of the home. documents you refer to often. too (or maybe several!). Use strong magnets to post important notices from school or from the town trash department. This can be even more of an issue at home than it is at work. Stickers can also brighten up a dreary file drawer and encourage us to keep up with our filing. These can hold current bills. Organizing at home is 27 Following Through . Bulletin boards. or files relating to a kitchen renovation – or to flag files that need special attention. Magnets. Cork bulletin boards are available at hardware. Use different color stickers on file tabs as a code for different types of information – prospective. or to set aside a special project room where the walls are covered with bulletin-board material. or the memo of current priorities from your company’s president. With an effective use of magnets. houseware. or office supply stores. shoes. Most work spaces have some wall surface where you can tape or pin up important reminders. the bills that need to be paid. To upgrade the refrigerator into a full-scale organization center. and tape offer additional organizing solutions for “urgent” papers. Clothes. and former clients. and toys In order to get and stay organized. buy magnet-mounted paper organizers (available through storage solution stores or catalogs). and other important papers. which can be cut to size and painted to match your walls. push-pins. with all of the “stuff” we keep around us. phone lists. Mount the bulletin board in a high-traffic spot – perhaps in the kitchen. Here are some storage ideas: ■ Use vertical space in closets. Add storage shelving in utility areas. or install utility clips to hang mops and brooms. and keep them by the door you use most often. Just box up the things you can’t throw away. mark the boxes clearly. lower bar. Not only will you be able to walk through the basement again. like shoe hangers and back-of-door storage racks. the wood-burning kit … Find attractive boxes or baskets for seasonal clothes and sports equipment. Closets seem small. and stack them to the ceiling on your new shelving. take out the hanger bar and add deep shelves all the way up. If you need more space for hanging clothes.) And take advantage of closet organizing products. the Ball jars. Add more hooks around the walls or on the door.partly a matter of finding creative storage solutions. you’ll be able to find the fondue pot. (The easiest ones to install hang by chains from the top bar. Add another shelf high up in the closet for items you don’t use very often. ■ ■ 28 Following Through . Utility shelving in a garage. Get what’s spread out on the floor into boxes that can be stacked (mark them clearly so you’ll be able to find the one you want when you need it). If you don’t hang clothes in the closet. and partly of making an effort to throw away or recycle what we no longer use. install a second. Use that empty space to help you organize. or hallway can clear an amazing amount of floor space. Train yourself and family members to use the containers regularly. until you look at the empty space near the ceiling and just above the floor. and you’ll avoid many last-minute searches. basement. But you may need other motivation. and organize can be difficult. dinner with a friend if you’ve kept your “to do” list current all week. prioritize.Staying on track Finding ways to plan. and living a more balanced life will be an important encouragement. or a movie if you’ve accomplished an important goal. reward yourself for progress. Even if you don’t quite make it. It can be hard to keep up the effort. The intrinsic rewards of feeling more effective. 29 Following Through . Build in rewards for organized behavior: a walk at the end of the day if you’ve stuck to your priorities. accomplishing more. and sometimes we need to understand that it’s not “wasted” at all but valuable time for thought and relaxation. Poor Richard’s Almanac How to control wasted time Wasted time can keep us from reaching our goals. Often we need the break from our routine that interruptions offer. Procrastination and wasted time are often the culprits.Time Wasters Dealing with wasted time and procrastination ■ How to control wasted time How to overcome procrastination ■ Sometimes even our best efforts to be more organized seem to get us nowhere. The shifts in thought they bring can sometimes lead to new ideas and new approaches to problems. Part of being accessible and friendly is being open to interruptions. sometimes we can use it. Interruptions Some interruption is inevitable and even desirable. and put waiting time to better use? How can you overcome the urge to put off important tasks? Lost time is never found again. But 30 Time Wasters . How can you reduce distractions and interruptions. Sometimes we can prevent it. Benjamin Franklin. bank. While we can’t always control the situations that cause us to wait. don’t pick up the phone. each of us spends some time waiting – for appointments. this might be a coffee shop or the public library. for meetings to start. When not at work. Waiting During the course of a week. it’s probably time to apply some stress-reduction measures. Jot down ideas. Make yourself completely unavailable. Listen to tapes while you’re waiting in traffic. Set your phone to go straight into your answering machine or voice mail. at the airport. write quick notes. Some waiting. Let people know when you’ll be returning so they can contact you then. and too many of them can keep us from completing important tasks. When we notice that waiting time is bothering us more than usual. and some can be put to good use. Waiting can be a form of uninterrupted time away from urgent tasks. or supermarket. Use waiting time for thinking. an important project at work or at home. At work it might be a conference room or another work station. “This sounds like something that needs more time than I can give you right now. Can we talk about it this afternoon or tomorrow morning?” Set up “interruption shields.interruptions also break our concentration. think about where else you might be able to go to be free of interruptions. A common reaction to an unplanned delay is anxiety. anger. Here are some ideas you might use to avoid the potentially harmful effects of impatience and anger. Put up a sign outside your work space explaining what you’re doing and when you’ll be free. There are three basic ways to deal with interruptions: ■ Shift them in time.” Close your door. We’ve seen that our perception of time changes with stress (remember the 15-second minute?) and with it our tolerance for waiting. though probably not much. If you’re still open to interruption from people stopping by. Before your interrupter gets started. you might say. 31 Time Wasters ■ . Dictate a letter to a friend and send her the tape when you get a chance. draw up a “to do” list or grocery list. in your work space or at home. or a party you’re planning for a friend or family member. Bring some work or reading material. If you’re at home. and to turn waiting time to your advantage: ■ ■ ■ Do something while you’re waiting. That’s not a productive response. You might work from home on a certain project if your company allows it and your manager approves. and heightened levels of stress. we can choose how to react to those situations. Spend it thinking about your career and personal goals. can be avoided. you might: ■ ■ Take notice of your television habits. (For ideas and techniques. Have “no-TV days” when the television stays off. If this is too difficult. and bring it out only for special events. not scheduled time. but it can also be a way of avoiding important tasks and activities. and other diversions 32 Time Wasters ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ . Television is by far the biggest source of wasted time in most people’s schedules. Be intentional. If you watch a lot of television and want to change this habit. But television can cause us to stay up too late. but it can also be a drain on your time.■ Allow yourself the opportunity to relax. Most of us don’t think about whether television is helping or hurting us. make a list of all the things you did instead. and can prevent us from spending quality time with others and on projects that could make us feel better about our lives. and avoid overdoing any of them.” then being disappointed with yourself when the appointment is on time or you strike up an interesting conversation with someone you meet. and other diversions The Internet can be an exciting place to explore. Be intentional in your diversions. Computer games. write thank-you notes. Cut down gradually.” Put the television in a closet or in the basement. such as the Olympics or a series you really want to watch. think about whether you really want to turn the television on. Go “cold turkey. do the ironing. Turn the television off when those programs are over. Time on-line. but if you can’t. Set a limit on the time you will spend watching television. computer games. This will be most effective if you can get those around you to join in the effort. Fold the laundry. Do something while you watch television. move the television to a less central and less comfortable spot in your home. you can apply the rule to yourself. Use this list as an incentive to enforce the rule with yourself later.) Think of waiting as bonus time. After trying this for a couple of days. or polish your shoes. novels. catalog shopping. When you’re done with your task.” page 7. As you reach for the switch. Television Television can be a tool for relaxation and a source of information. We turn it on out of habit or to help us unwind at the end of a busy day. see “Managing stress through relaxation and meditation. Choose the programs that you want to watch. turn the television off. Be careful not to get in the habit of bringing lots of work “just in case. can all be sources of relaxation – in moderation. Time Management for Unmanageable People). If you’re worried about something other than the task at hand. It may be important for you just to have a sounding board. But we need to learn how to step in and out of our different roles if we are to live effectively. And problems or concerns at home don’t disappear when we have to start work. you may want to talk with a professional counselor who has the knowledge or expertise you need.” one place to start is by organizing so that you can find what you need more quickly. someone who will listen and sympathize (“That must feel awful. it’s a way of reassuring yourself that you’ll get back to those problems later. Over-involvement with any can be an addictive and exhausting habit. you aren’t likely to work productively. people spend an average of six weeks a year looking for things at work. . Do something from your list of fun activities (page 10). Have you tried . Or. distracted time is also wasted time (what Ann McGee-Cooper calls “contaminated time” in her book. . You might: ■ Take a break from what you’re doing. Writing tasks down on a “to do” list or on your calendar is one way of parking worries. ■ ■ 33 Time Wasters . You’ll be less efficient. a live battery. less creative. The answer to this problem is to understand what is causing the worry and stress. Go for a walk or get a drink of water and let your head clear. Take some time to talk about your worry with someone who will listen carefully or someone who may be able to help you solve the problem. or keys. and more likely to make mistakes that may cause you to rework the task later – if you have that luxury. So if you’re looking for “more time. a safety pin. Try out some of the ideas on pages 22 to 29. There’s always more to be done. work doesn’t end with a clean break at the end of a task. ?”). If you’re worried about a work problem when you’re home or with others. Time when you’re distracted by other worries Unfocused. And that doesn’t even count the time they spend at home looking for that matching sock. much of it very important. if you’re distracted by a problem you can’t deal with alone. you aren’t likely to give those you are with the attention they deserve. Looking for things By one estimate. and can keep you from better uses of your time. Find ways to “park” your worries until later. For most of us. Night Thoughts How to overcome procrastination Procrastination deserves a special place in the pantheon of time wasters. Or because we’re just plain exhausted or feeling down. For some people it can help to visualize a stop sign as a way to shift thoughts away from what is worrisome. Because we don’t have the information we think we need to proceed. So why do we do it? Because many of the tasks we face are unpleasant or seem overwhelming. you have an important handle on procrastination. Watch yourself for signs that you’re worrying at times or in situations when you can’t do anything to address the problem. Edward Young. It undermines our credibility. hurts our relationships. keeps us from succeeding and reaching our goals. Make yourself think about something else – an upcoming vacation. you may already be scheduling according to your priorities and following through with effective organization. Because we’re more afraid of trying and failing than we are of not trying at all. If so. We can often get past the emotional blocks by recognizing those underlying reasons and applying the tools we’ve outlined in this book: setting goals. a place you find relaxing. Because we’re paralyzed from over-commitment. and adds to the stress and tension in our lives. If you’ve read this far. 34 Time Wasters .” The way to get out of it is to think about something else. And it damages us in all kinds of ways. Because we’re operating with unclear instructions and goals. We all do it. planning and scheduling around priorities. It’s easy to settle into an unproductive “worry groove. It can be helpful to pay attention to our feelings and to try to understand why we are procrastinating. or a project you find engaging at work.■ Force yourself to think about something else. We all know we do it. Procrastination is the thief of time. We often procrastinate for emotional and irrational reasons. and working on our organizational skills. And a co-worker can make a difficult project more pleasant and add a fresh set of insights and experiences. Remember: step-by-step improvement is better than delayed perfection. two days a week until it’s done. If you can’t get a job finished because you’re missing some information. Make big tasks more manageable by dividing them into smaller parts. finally start an exercise program when a friend agrees to join them. Delegate the task to someone else. and you keep finding yourself too tired to deal with it then. If you’ve been putting off organizing your work space. Company can make unpleasant tasks more bearable – and sometimes even enjoyable. Push yourself to think beyond the short-term negative (the task as an obstacle) to the long-term positive (your feelings of satisfaction when you’re done). and get it out of the way. Build in rewards. too. and the intrinsic rewards so unclear. Sometimes the way to get a task done is to ask someone else to do it. or decide that you’ll work on it for half an hour a day. is a healthy approach to many problems. or even just for company. You might wait then to finish it. Think how you’ll feel when they’re finished. or a long bike ride for cleaning the basement. ways of dealing with procrastination: ■ Focus on positive outcomes as a way of getting past the unpleasant part of the tasks you’ve been putting off. Do a task with someone else. then tackle one small area at a time. maybe you should find someone who does. Asking for help. more specific. do it first thing in the morning when you’re rested and fresh. Treat yourself to dinner out or a movie for clearing a backlog of work. If you keep putting that tough phone call off until the end of the day. start it anyway and take it as far as you can. or. If you’ve felt blocked because you don’t have the skills or knowledge for a task. Approach the hardest problems when you have the most energy. Weight-loss groups can be far more effective than individuals struggling on their own. And committing to do something with someone else can get you past the procrastination block. Work with the information you have. better. you usually realize that it’s less overwhelming and confusing than you originally thought. that it can help to attach additional rewards to their completion. hand it off to the person who has what’s needed to complete the task. Some tasks are so unpleasant. for example.Here are some other. When you subdivide the job. Many people. ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ 35 Time Wasters . The next and final chapter deals with another source of wasted time: time spent on work we shouldn’t have agreed to in the first place. though. both of which recognize the positive reasons we put things off. Check with others involved. cross it off your list of things to do and keep your eye focused on the really important tasks. and some is even desirable. or that we could be doing faster and more effectively with help. and if they agree that the task no longer needs your attention. 36 Time Wasters . it may mean that you guessed right about its lack of importance. It offers ideas on how to say “no. Don’t do it at all. can get in the way of our effectiveness. You can always jump back into action if it turns out that you’re wrong. or that there’s a good chance the need will go away. ■ The beginning is the most important part of the work.There are two other important ways of dealing with procrastination. This chapter has offered some ideas for reducing or making use of what might otherwise be wasted time. ■ Wait it out. that we need some time to think about an idea. our chance to reflect and recharge. and for overcoming the biggest time-waster of all: our own tendency to put things off. you may be acting responsibly by dropping it lower on your list of priorities. The Republic Reclaiming wasted time Some “wasted” time is inevitable in life. It can be our breathing space in a busy day. Too much. or that while it seems important to some people today it won’t in a few days. If you’ve put something off for a long time and there has been no negative reaction. Sometimes we intuitively understand that a task is not important.” and how to recruit others to help share the load. If you sense the task isn’t important. It can offer surprises and new ideas. Plato. It’s hard to escape the feeling of overload when new work and new demands keep pouring onto us. we volunteer for the responsibilities that overwhelm us. though. 37 Getting to “No” . we not only share our load but also help to give others new opportunities and experiences that they benefit from and appreciate. we control the spigot. In reality.Getting to “No” Setting limits. It can seem as if there’s no way to stop them. If we do our work efficiently. In ways we aren’t always aware of. And if we can learn to delegate in empowering ways. it can seem as though there’s always more to do. If we can learn to say “no” – in positive and helpful ways – we can begin to regain a sense of control. and getting help – at work and at home ■ How to set limits How to delegate How to share responsibilities and get help at home ■ ■ Even the most organized person can’t do it all. delegating. Be honest. That won’t work. Excuses and defensiveness open us up for challenge. by looking down and bowing your head. The better we feel about ourselves. An explanation is a simple statement of fact. if you can’t go downtown with your friend on a Saturday because you have to work. non-threatening body language. not an excuse.” By always being agreeable and “nice. tell her just that.” And we can come to those feelings of insecurity through overload and stress. Don’t say “yes” when you feel “no. Tell the truth. The next step is to relearn the skill of saying “no. direct. Avoid sending signals of defensiveness or wavering in your body language.” Here are some hints for getting to “no” and leaving both sides happy: ■ Give an explanation. or undervalued and ignored.” But if we feel insecure.” Statements like.” make your position clear. For example. Use non-verbal language.” even when asked to take on an impossible load of work tasks or an unfair share of the responsibility at home. the more confident and secure we are in our roles. We are agreeing to poor customer service and the risk of serious mistakes as resources are stretched too thin. I’ve made a commitment to spend this weekend with my partner. And avoid confrontational postures such as finger-pointing and crossed arms. Keep it short and to the point. you’ll notice that some people can say “no” in ways that leave others feeling just as satisfied as if they’d said “yes. and to your most important personal and professional goals.” If you pay attention to how others respond to requests for their time.” we are agreeing to live with overload and anxiety. “No. Don’t say that you think it might rain. unwanted responsibility. Be brief. so well that as adults we can still find it difficult to say “no. And we are agreeing to give up our personal and family time. The first step in breaking this pattern is to see the downside of saying “yes. and don’t be defensive. You know you haven’t been direct enough when a person you think you’ve said “no” to keeps asking you to say “yes. directly and clearly. the more you open yourself to giving in and accepting additional.” And most of us learned that lesson very well. They have a relaxed body and are confident in their statements. The longer you talk. the easier it is for us to say “no. Assertive people look others in the eye without constant staring. Saying “yes” to somebody else can mean saying “no” to your own needs and those of your family.How to set limits Most of us were taught as children that it was “bad” and “rude” to say “no. and firm. ■ ■ ■ 38 Getting to “No” . we’re more likely to say “yes.” and never say “maybe” just to put off saying “no” until later. including good eye contact and firm. for example. Handled well.” For most of us that negative bias comes from our experiences with attempts at delegation that were mishandled. or suggest another person who might be better suited for the task. Delegation will not work: ■ when the person to whom you might give the job is already overworked. offer your resources but not your time. You could help her get started. however.” You might work with the person who needs help to come up with another solution to the problem. when you want full control of or credit for the work.■ Use the rule of “two plus one plus one. you can say: 1 Positive statement: I’m interested in this cause and 2 Positive statement: I enjoy working with you. and the time or resources aren’t available for training. when delegation is an appropriate solution. The first obstacle to overcome is our own tendency to think of delegation as “dumping. It consists of two positive statements followed by one negative statement followed by one positive statement.” Sometimes the best answer is neither “yes” nor “no. 4 Positive statement: I do intend to make a financial donation again this year. if you are asked to serve on a community board by someone you like and want to help out but you just can’t commit yourself to giving much time. How to delegate The answer to overload in many situations lies in effective delegation – in entrusting tasks to other people. we may be able to transfer the responsibility to someone else for whom the task might be important and an effective use of time. both at home and at work.” This is an effective tool when you need to say “no” but want to be positive and flexible. If taking on a task by ourselves will keep us from getting to more important things. it gives others a chance to take on new ■ ■ ■ 39 Getting to “No” . 3 Negative statement: but I can’t commit to serving on the board. we can take advantage of these opportunities. when you don’t take the time to pass the work on effectively. By learning strong delegation skills and practicing them. But effective delegation is not dumping. There are many times. ■ Find a “third right answer. when the person does not have the training or expertise to handle the job. one that addresses her needs without overloading you. For example. Stephen Covey. to learn and to grow. Most of us have experienced good and bad delegation. To delegate effectively. while freeing us to spend time where we are most needed. and helps to prevent “burn out” by sharing work equitably. includes an element of teaching and sharing information.responsibilities. in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. we need to talk through the task with the person to whom we are delegating. If we don’t. Effective delegation: ■ allows others to take on new roles and responsibilities and to learn new skills. The worst thing we can do is to control while we delegate. and another to control all the steps leading to that outcome. What was the difference? What did the person who delegated to you do in each situation that made it work in one case and not work in the other? Chances are the difference was in how you were prepared – the amount of information you were given about how to do the job and whether you understood the “big picture” of why the job was important – and in whether you were given a chance to complete the task to the best of your ability. When we are hurried and overloaded. Compare what happened in those situations to the times when you have resented the way work was given to you or felt that you were handed a task without the tools or authority to complete it. It is one thing to have clear expectations for the outcome. ■ ■ ■ How to delegate effectively Effective delegation takes some time and effort. we can free ourselves to focus on more important tasks. But if we relax and shift ourselves into the role of coach or guide. to expect someone else to do the work exactly the way we would do it. Those same lessons can be applied as you delegate to others. It’s true that we can control results more carefully when we do the work ourselves. we’re likely to slip into the mode of parceling out bits of tasks without taking the time to explain and truly transfer responsibility. we often need to take a deep breath and calm ourselves before we begin the process. Think about the times work has been delegated to you in ways that you have appreciated. The second obstacle is our urge to control. and make the project clear. helps team or family members feel that they are contributing to shared goals. isolates five key elements that need to be communicated in effective delegation:2 40 Getting to “No” . or opportunities to take on new responsibilities. but then to let go and let him or her find the best way to get the results. Would it be helpful to set up a checklist or chart? Will you be monitoring her when you are home? By taking the time to think through and make your expectations clear at the beginning. At work. 5 Consequences – Your fair and consistent feedback should be a given. 2©1990. 800-331-7716. explain all of the steps in the context of the end result: keeping the dog happy and healthy. you might also offer guidance about who is likely to support the project. Inc.1 Desired results – What needs to be done? By when? Who are the “cus- tomers” and what do they expect? If you are delegating to your daughter the task of feeding and walking the dog. Ask him or her to review it with you when you are done (maybe even summarize the task in writing) as a check to see that you have communicated clearly. At work. All rights reserved. 2 Guidelines – What have you learned about getting this type of task done? Where are the pitfalls likely to lie? What has worked for you in the past? In the pet care example. you might tell your daughter how often the dog will need to be walked (you might tell about an “accident” that happened when you were late one day) or about how quickly the dog drinks its water. they might include stars on a chart. but beyond that. and what money is available. but the other person may not be. these might include formal recognition. or new privileges. and how you’ll help when the dog food runs low. you’ll avoid frustration for both of you later. When discussing consequences. where you hang the leash. Your goal should be to share what you have learned about the process. by Steven R. who has expertise. and which are flexible? When delegating the care of the dog to your daughter. financial incentives. Remember. healthy pet. you might show where the dog food is kept. from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. 3 Resources – Who can help with this task? What resources are available? In the dog-care example at home. Sometimes additional rewards make sense. for example). you are familiar with this work and understand the reason for each step. talk about how you’ll both check to see that all the tasks are completed. 1990). (Simon & Schuster. 4 Accountability – How will you measure whether the task has been done well? How will you each keep track of progress? Which of the standards are not negotiable. what will happen if the task is done well? What will happen if it is late or done poorly? Should any rewards be attached? Sometimes the work itself is reward enough – the satisfaction of a job well done (of enjoying a happy. Covey. emphasize the positives and let the negatives speak for themselves. At home for children. New York. 41 Getting to “No” . Used with permission of Covey Leadership Center. a special trip or toy. Families and households that work together to get these tasks done. ■ Begin by believing that all family or household members can participate in household chores and responsibilities. ■ ■ ■ 42 Getting to “No” . just as at work. (“Paying the bills is my job. and housemates may be blind to each others’ real capabilities as they both settle into patterns of behavior. meal preparation generally has to happen just before meal times. and to clarify other time requirements (for example. and how to be caring and contributing members of the household. This can be tricky between adults (you may resent your partner telling you how to take care of the yard or do the laundry). You can all work together to take care of household tasks. or shopping). assigning them to a different person every day or every week. “Cooking the meals is my job. wives. nobody really wants to do them. to foster a greater sense of team work. and probably more important. What needs to be done? Who can do it? What is a fair way to share the work? You might hold a family meeting to lay out the work of the household together and make a list of the jobs each member does. Analyze the jobs and assign responsibilities. Let go of your way of doing things.” Or. you may need to find a fair way to assign the less attractive jobs. tend to be strong. but they need to be done. Take time to explain the task and to do any necessary training. cleaning.”) At home. she would just mess it up. It may help to estimate the amount of time the different tasks involve. that value the contribution of each member in this process. but it can be important if you are taking on new roles. If people don’t volunteer for all tasks. it’s important to accept his or her way if you want the help. with children. and to help overcome feelings of overload. and can all help and encourage each other. connected. Explaining and training is easier. and supportive.How to share responsibilities and get help at home Denial of other people’s abilities can get in the way of relying more fully on the people around us. Parents may underestimate their children’s abilities. Children tend to be more cooperative about doing chores for which they have volunteered (and when they understand that there are many other tasks they are not expected to do). Many household tasks are not very attractive. Husbands. delegation offers an opportunity to give others a chance to shine in new ways. While you may fold the laundry better than your spouse. Part of the job of parenting is to teach children how to take care of themselves and their surroundings. while there may be more flexibility attached to yard work. Some families rotate the less appealing chores for fairness. he wouldn’t be able to handle it. and accept the ways of others. “Sean. But anger over past behavior and deeply rooted expectations (“My father never cooked. don’t assume that it’s completed. Comments like. At work we sometimes solve a work-load problem by outsourcing. Is it cooking dinner every night? Washing the dishes? Cleaning the house? Taking care of the car? Now think about people or services that might be available to help relieve some of that pressure. review the expectations. It’s good to have high standards – after all. You may need to follow up. Avoid negative statements. “I can do it better.” or “If I knew you’d do it that way. Be appreciative. Think about what you do at home that is causing you to feel overloaded. Most delegation requires management. Once you’ve delegated a task. My friends don’t help in the kitchen. At those meetings you might ask: “Does anyone have a problem with the way the chores are being done?” “Does the arrangement seem fair?” or “Is anyone having trouble with the work they’ve taken on?” Make an effort to recognize your housemates if you feel they’ve contributed to a positive change in the household. 43 Getting to “No” .■ Stop being a perfectionist. Now we have more time to play your favorite game. always giving positive feedback first. For example. resistant. Work instead to find standards that are comfortable for everyone. You might suggest regular meetings to follow up and see how the change is working. There is no stronger force to encourage changing roles than honest praise and gratitude and a recognition of other people’s contributions. so that those to whom you delegate know what is expected of their performance. Just by talking together about how each of you contributes at home you’ll be making progress toward a fairer distribution of the work. that’s what motivates us to do well – but when delegating at home it’s not productive to force those standards on others. I’d have done it myself. They can make others defensive.” can derail hard-earned progress toward sharing the load. you might say. you and your housemates have agreed at a meeting to reassign the household work more evenly. and uncooperative. or even do more explaining or training. Why should I?”) can often set up hurdles that are very difficult to overcome. ■ ■ ■ ■ One solution is to look for help from outside the household.” Praise and recognition reinforce the feelings of confidence people get from taking on new roles and responsibilities. positive support. Getting help Delegation at home is an important way of getting help and sharing the load. I’m so glad you helped clean up the kitchen. For example. We can often use that same strategy at home. Provide consistent. think about what is most important to you and what you want more time for. control wasted time and overcome procrastination. Try not to be discouraged by comparing your progress to others or to how far you still have to go. Notice and take pride in small improvements. but you’ve attached a tangible reward to your effort to give up smoking. You can: ■ learn to recognize and manage stress. Not only can you use the money you save on cigarettes to pay for the help. and learn how to say “no” and how to delegate effectively. When you’re ready. Another idea might be to eat out less often or forego buying a new car for another year to free up money for some needed service. set goals. Think about how you might shift money in your household budget in ways that reward you for cutting back somewhere else. but that money might help you feel more in control. For example. and it might defuse a source of tension in the household. become more organized at home and at work. try out new approaches. ■ ■ Some concluding thoughts We’ve seen that there are ways to find more time for the important things in your life and ways to deal with feelings of overload.■ Can you afford to have someone come in and clean for you once a week or once every other week? Can you hire a high-school student to do yard work or run errands? It’s an additional expense on what may already be a strained budget. even from company cafeterias. In some communities services are available that deliver home-cooked meals at prices comparable to restaurant take-out food. and plan and prioritize to reach them. in ways that fit your personality. which can reduce your feelings of overload. as a long-term effort to make your life better. And congratulations on coming this far! ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ 44 Getting to “No” . Approach change gradually. you might link hiring household help with quitting smoking. Can you buy prepared meals two or three times a week instead of cooking so often yourself? Healthy take-out food is available from many restaurants. . Box 19008. Inc.O.. Phone: 800-331-7716. 3507 N. P.Excerpts of First Things First and The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People used with permission of Covey Leadership Center. University Avenue. Provo. Utah 84604-4479. T Printed on recycled paper 22040-0303 .